


Basic Need

by CallMeAlessandra



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Student/Teacher, Dominant Kylo Ren, F/M, Happy Ending, Love Confessions, Professor Ren, Shameless Smut, Smut, professor/student
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-12
Updated: 2019-01-02
Packaged: 2019-05-05 23:12:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 53,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14629017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CallMeAlessandra/pseuds/CallMeAlessandra
Summary: “I expect an answer, when I ask a question, Miss Doe.”Rey felt her cheeks heat up beneath the scrutinizing gaze of her Professor. “I- um, I’m sorry, Professor. I was taking notes and I-,”Professor Ren turned sharply on his heel, grabbing the chalk again. “Miss Doe, I’ll see you in my office after the lecture. Let’s proceed.”Like a sinking rock, Rey is drawn to the bottom, further and further down. She was made to endure, that was what she did her entire life. Now she is slowly but surely questioning, how long she can still do it. Her new Professor certainly tests her endurance.





	1. New Year

_Basic Need_  
Chapter 1   
New Year

_Hanna City, New Year’s Eve, Hotel Diamond…_

Her feet hurt, her back was killing her and her arms were heavy. Rey carried the umpteenth tray of expensive finger food out from the kitchen to the waiting high society of Hanna City that had gathered on New Year’s Eve on the top floor of the five-star hotel. People bumped into her, completely unphased by the fact that she was carrying their food and their expressions twisted with annoyance that _she_ didn’t try to make her way around _them_. She felt another blister on her heel open, the fifth tonight. Rey bit her tongue, trying to walk as normally as possible and not hobble like the Hunchback of Notre Dame. It was a little after three in the morning and her shift had started at ten. Yet every excruciating hour meant money - money that she desperately needed. So, she endured, like she had her whole life.

All the waiters Rey had started her shift with were already gone. The mere thought of going back to university in less than a day had her on the verge of tears especially since she had volunteered to take on Rose’s shift in the café the next morning. To round everything up, she had a paper to finish that was due by the end of the week. She was so tired, almost tripping over her own feet in the ridiculous heels she had to wear. Her white shirt was completely soaked through with sweat, the fabric clinging to her back uncomfortably. She just hoped that nobody noticed in the dim light. In the far corner of the room, she saw a group of comfortable lounging chairs… she would have _killed_ for five minutes of rest. _Just another hour to go_ … At least, that’s what she told herself over and over again, while she felt new blisters forming on her aching feet.

Some waitress she didn’t know walked past her, tapping her on the shoulder. “Come back to the kitchen! They want more champagne!”

Rey nodded, signaling to the other girl that she had heard her over the music. “I’m coming.” She turned around, trying to keep her balance on her heels.

The last hour went by excruciatingly slow for Rey. Every minute felt like an hour, yet somehow, she managed to stay on her feet and maneuver through the crowd. Her left leg had started to go numb again and Rey prayed that she wouldn’t spread-eagle on the floor in front of every rich person in the city. The clock finally struck 4 in the morning and Rey, limping more than walking straight, made her way to the kitchen. Passing a small mirror, she caught a quick glimpse of herself. She looked like a ghost. The circles beneath her eyes were dark and swollen, her hair was a mess and her usually tanned skin was pale. Rey quickly stamped her time card, making sure her cut-throat boss wouldn’t bilk her for a single cent. The walk home from the hotel to her small flat would take over forty minutes and it was minus 3 degrees outside. A brief thought about taking a taxi flitted across her mind, but a quick look into her empty wallet reminded her that she couldn’t afford it anyway.

Rey sighed, stuffing her wallet back into the tattered backpack, and made her way to the door. The main exit from the kitchen had a sign on it, stating in big, red letters: “STAFF IS NOT ALLOWED TO USE MAIN EXIT! USE BACK EXIT!”

Rey shouldered her backpack, picked her coat and her boots and limped out of the door. From afar, she could already see the yellow sign on the elevator, stating that it was out of order. Simple, frustrating situations like this happened to her all the time, sometimes it felt like someone jinxed her from the moment of her birth.

Tears burned in her eyes all of the sudden. With an angry swipe of her arm, she wiped them from her cheeks and flopped down on the first step. She groaned loudly in relief as she pulled the heels off her feet. Her feet were swollen and the edges of her shoes had cut into the flesh, leaving angry red lines. Every single toe had blood blisters forming beneath the toenail. The worst blisters she found were on her heels and on the sides of her feet. Some were already bleeding. _Great. Just great_. She flexed her toes, feeling the tendons stretch and burn when she moved them carefully. Her worn-out winter boots were formless and warm and _flat_ \- three things that Rey was absolutely thankful for. She grimaced when she pulled her boots over the battered skin of her feet. The winter jacket she owned was patched in several places and the zipper had slowly but surely given out but Rey managed to zip it up and wrapped her scarf tightly around her neck before she made her way down the stairs. _Ten floors down_. Every step felt like someone pushed a hot knife between her vertebrae, her feet almost forgotten.  

Rey didn’t get far before she heard the sound of loud grunts, breathless gasps, and the unmistakable sound of naked flesh slapping against flesh. _Oh God_ … someone was having sex. Someone was having sex just a flight below her. In public… in a fucking public staircase? Who did that? Rey froze when she heard a loud slap and a woman squealing with delight.

“Oh God- _fuck_ , yes! Harder, please, fuck me harder!”

Ignoring her aching feet and the pain shooting up her spine, Rey ran down the stairs. She heard the gasp of the woman and a growl from the man, shielding her eyes so she didn’t see their faces. Practically sprinting past them, she gave them a breathless “Sorry!” before running down the next flight. On her way down, Rey recapped the terrible year she had and the new one ahead. New Year, new luck, wasn’t that what people always said? Well, obviously for Rey it was New Year, no luck.

 

_Café ‘Big Easy’, next day…_

Rey was barely able to move the next day. The three restless hours of sleep she got before her alarm blared didn’t help. Her feet ached and the blisters on her toes had reached the size of a small pea. Her back was slightly better but her leg was giving her hell today. On her way to the café, it gave out twice. The first time she managed to catch herself, successfully splitting the skin of her knuckles on her left hand. The second time, she landed on her bony knees. The impact rattled her bones and for a second, she saw stars. By the end of the day, her knees were going to be black and blue, she knew that much already. With her freshly bandaged hand, bruised knees and numb leg, Rey limped into the empty café. Poe had sent her a quick text informing her what he was making for the special of the day earlier. That was her favorite part of working here. Rey’s stomach growled loudly, as if her body wanted to tell her that nuts and raisins and a small omelet were not a balanced diet but she simply couldn’t afford anything else. But Poe’s food was healthy – he cooked for her when she had her shift in the café, knowing about her difficult situation. Usually Rey was too proud to admit how utterly _exhausted_ she was, but she appreciated Poe’s generosity.

The small bell above the door chimed, signaling that guests had entered. Rey groaned inwardly, pushing her aching body from the chair behind the counter.

A group of students came in. “Hey guys, Happy New Year.” She stopped behind the register and pointed towards the baked goods that Poe had prepared for the morning. “Want a recommendation?”

“No.” A boy with slicked back hair said. His nasal tone made Rey cringe on the inside. _Oh, we have a rich asshole here_ , she thought. “Is there anything available here that is regional?”

He gave her a snide look over from head to toe, telling her with his eyes that he clearly thought he was above her. He looked at the muffins, pointing at them. “Two of those. Don’t touch them.”

Rey quickly got the muffins out and packed them in a paper bag, handing him the food over the register. “It’ll be four dollars and fifty cents, please.” She held out her hand to take the money from him, but he simply threw a five-dollar bill down on the counter. The two girls giggled while they followed him outside, leaving Rey to herself again.

The next two hours went by without any visitors and Rey used the time to rest her feet while working on her paper. She was just checking her grammar when the door opened again. Finn came in, shrugging off snow from his shoulders.

“Whew, man! It’s cold outside!” When he saw the dark circles under her eyes, his face turned serious. “Rey, you look terrible. How much did you sleep, hm? Five hours?”

At the thought of five hours of sleep, she groaned longingly. Shaking her head, she started the coffee machine for him. “A little over three,” was all she said, handing him the coffee, extra sweet with milk and caramel. His favorite.

He gave her a stern look, that quickly turned from exasperated to worried when he noticed her limping. “Are you in pain?”

“No – well - a little, I guess.” She tried to keep a straight face, acting brave for him. “My boss - not Poe - made me wear heels last night. So, I was catering from ten to four in heels. Shitty heels.”

Finn sighed, rubbing a hand over his head. “Shit, how bad is it?”

“Bloody,” was all Rey said, before saving her paper and shutting down her laptop. “So, did you already get your schedule?”

Finn nodded, grabbing a chair and sitting down. “Yup, looks good. I even have a free day and one with only two classes. Pretty cool.”

Finn and Rey met during their first year of college. While Finn was only going for his bachelor’s degree, Rey aimed for a masters. He was studying to become a teacher and Rey wanted become an editor.

“You?”

“I wanted to check later. I haven’t found the time yet.”

Finn leaned over the counter and pulled her laptop over to him, opening it. His brows shot up, while his eyes quickly scanned the first few sentences of her paper. “Rey… wow, this is - I mean, I have no clue about literature, but this is really good.” She heard the keys clink, before Finn asked “Okay, so what’s your password?”

“Um, it’s College123. Capital C.”

Finn gave her the best _raised-eyebrow-for-real-stare_ , before logging into her account. He whistled.He leaned forward, squinting his eyes a little. “There’s a note here on your literature courses.”

Rey limped around the counter. “Really? What does it say?”

Finn clicked on it, reading the small blurb to her. “Well, this helps. The classes are marked red, which means you have a replacement Professor for the course. Isn’t Professor Meyer your lit teacher?”

“He is.” Rey winced when a few vertebrae popped as she leaned over to look at her online schedule. “I wonder what happened.”

Deep down and secretly, Rey prayed to every god above that for once in her life she would get lucky and her substitute teacher wouldn’t be Dr. Ren.

 

_University of Hanna City (UHC), the next day…_

Rey’s new schedule was hell. She had a minimum of three lectures every day. Monday to Tuesday she had three, Wednesday and Thursday three and Friday two. How in the world was she supposed to fit work between all these lectures? She made her way across the campus, past the huge fountain with three mermaids in it, the crest of the university. The branches of the trees were leafless and full of snow and students ran past her, trying to escape the raging snowstorm. Rey would have sworn that her nose was frozen by now.

A bunch of students had already gathered around the notification board, checking for changes in their schedules. Rey knew her schedule but there was the lingering question of who would be her substitute professor? She dreaded the mere thought of having the infamous Dr. Ren as her main professor.

“Excuse me, could you please step aside for a moment? Thanks.” A student in front of Rey stepped to the side, so that she could see the notification for her classes.

_Dear students, Due to an injury, Professor Meyer will be absent for an indefinite time_ _this year. We will inform students of his classes Literature I+II, Literature Sciences and Art of any further developments. The substitute teacher for Literature I+II and Literature Sciences will be_ _, for Art, Professor Connor. For any questions concerning final grades, term, or seminar papers, please speak to Dr. Ren._

_Welcome to UHC, welcome back and/or good luck for your last term!_

_The Administration Office Penelope Phasma_

_No… you’ve got to be kidding!_ Rey felt her stomach churn and tighten into tiny little knots. _Dr. Ren_. Dr. Kylo Ren was the most infamous teacher at UHC. With his volatile personality, his cruel, almost impossible to pass exams and an attitude that made students and other teachers fear him alike, he was every student’s worst nightmare. And now he was her teacher – and not just for a gen ed course, no, he had to be her teacher for the classes she needed for her major!

“Oh man, what a bummer!” The student next to her cursed under his breath, turning to his group of friends. “Shit, I’ve got Ren as a replacement teacher. He’ll hand me my ass in class!”

Rey snorted. _I feel you._ Professor Meyer was a good teacher, she liked him. He was fair, and while his exams were hard, it wasn’t impossible to get a good grade. He rewarded students that kept up with his lectures and allowed additional work if a student needed to improve their grades. As much as she heard, Professor Ren was the exact opposite. It was her sophomore year and she had heard countless horror stories about him. Up until now, Rey was one of the lucky students to have never met Professor Ren. She had seen him a few times and quickly walked the other way. He wore designer suits, stomped down the hallways with long strides and he _always_ seemed angry. Aggressive.

Pushing her backpack higher on her shoulder, Rey winced when the strap pressed down on her sore muscles. Her first class was Literature I, so her day was about to start off just great. Rey entered the room and immediately fled to one of the highest rows of seats, the furthest away from the lectern. Obviously, that was the plan of action for many other students too. Rey unpacked her books, laptop and notepad. She was ready, she was prepared, she was - _utterly terrified_. The last students that entered looked absolutely chagrined as they noticed that the upper ranks of the lecture hall were completely packed. They begrudgingly sat in the front with sour expressions on their faces. A mere second later, the doors to the hall flew open and Dr. Ren strode in.

He was a force to be reckoned with, dressed in his usual black designer suit. His dark hair fell in perfect waves to the crisp collar of his shirt. He was one of the youngest professors, tall with broad shoulders and torso. Rey knew that various female students were willing to drop their panties for him, either for a better grade or just a good lay. He threw his coat over the back of his chair, his deep voice cold as it resonated over the heads of his terrified students. “Open your books on page 321. I don’t allow cellphones in my class, put them away now or you’ll listen to the lecture from the other side of the door.”

One hour into the lecture and Rey was scrawling down her notes, hanging onto every word he said. In his own way, he was… _charismatic_. His lecture was fast-paced, calculated and didn’t allow a slip from a student or else they would no longer be able to keep pace with him, but interesting nonetheless.

She quickly put her pen aside, lowering her eyes again to avoid his gaze. “Y-Yes, Dr. Ren?”

He unfolded his arms from across his broad chest and walked around his desk. “I expect an answer when I ask a question, Miss Doe.”

Rey felt her cheeks heat up beneath the scrutinizing gaze of her Professor. “I- um, I’m sorry, Professor. I was taking notes and I-”

Professor Ren turned sharply on his heel, grabbing the chalk again. “Miss Doe, I’ll see you in my office after the lecture. Let’s proceed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Yes, guilty in all charges… another Reylo story.^^ I just can’t help myself, I’m so addicted right now, I found several plot leak videos on Youtube today, adding to the fact that here in Germany, TLJ is now airing on Sky, so yeah, guess what I did today… correct! I watched it like two times already again. :- D  
> So, let me explain a few things. I’m from Germany and I understand, that my education system may differ from an American system for example. If there are terms and things you may not understand, just ask me and I’ll do a little explanation in every note by the end of the chapter. I can only describe University life like I know it here. All students, please raise your hands, you my people…^^  
> Okay, let’s proceed… I was really inspired to write my own College AU thanks to the amazing story Libera Me, which was sadly taken down, something I will never understand, I was just addicted to that story. : (   
> Please leave me a review, a kudo and subscribe, that would be amazing! : ) As always, just a little closing note, I am not English, so please be gentle when it comes to grammar or spelling mistakes, I’ll gladly correct if you find one.   
> Love you all!  
> Kisses Alessandra


	2. Discomfort

Basic Need   
Chapter 2   
Discomfort

Rey didn’t know how long it took for her to gather the courage to finally knock on the Dr. Ren’s office door. She knew it had been a while but her heart was beating so fast, she feared it would jump right out of her chest. She knocked another time and almost jumped back when the door was yanked open from inside. Dr. Ren towered above her, his dark eyes boring holes into her.

“Miss Doe.” He said impatiently. “Come in. I don’t have all day.”

Rey, not wanting to anger the man in front of her even more, hurried inside and flinched when he slammed the door shut behind her before stopping dead. Dr. Ren’s office was… a _sight_ , to put it simply, with dark wooden floors and paneling, oriel windows framed by black curtains, and a massive desk that was, just like the rest of the room, made of a dark, expensive wood. His chair was large enough to fit his broad body comfortably. What impressed her the most were the never-ending rows of books in their shelves and almost immediately, she wondered if he had read all of them. He cleared his throat and she felt her cheeks start to burn. She knew she was ogling, but just couldn’t help herself. She never really thought about the office of a Professor before, so this was a first for her.

“Miss Doe, sit down.” He motioned to a leather chair in front of his desk, while he took his place in his own. He opened a large folder, leafed through it and pulled out a few papers. It was her student file. His dark eyes ran over the page quickly, and with a deep breath, he leaned back into his chair and pulled black designer glasses from his nose, lifting his dark gaze to study her. Not just her face or her body, though, it almost seemed like he was trying to assemble all the small details he had gathered about her into a conclusion. Rey felt as if he could see right through her, through her mask of bravery and strength, far behind, where she kept all her secrets.

“Miss Doe, are you aware that you are one of only five other students that earned a full scholarship for outstanding accomplishments?” He looked at her with his brows raised in a silent demand.

Rey swallowed down the lump in her throat and folded her hands in her lap nervously. “Yes, Dr. Ren.”

He nodded sharply. “Despite your age and your…” he paused, searching for the right word, “ _background_ , you are one of Professor Meyer’s best students.”

Her eyes shot up from her hands to meet his. “Dr. Ren, I am very sorry, I didn’t mean-”

He held up a hand. His fingers were long and broad and, somehow, as intimidating as the man himself.

“Miss Doe, I want you to know one thing. Professor Meyer is very fond of you. He has a very high opinion of you.” He leaned forward, his broad shoulders hunching over his desk. “You will not find that comfort with _me_.”

There was a shift in the air. The oxygen was gone, and she was left breathless.

“I demand much of my students, more than my fellow colleagues.” He folded his hands and once again, her eyes were drawn to his fingers. Rey had imagined his hands to be different. Soft and thin. She had expected lanky and fine fingers, made for rich fabrics like the ones he wore all the time. “If you rest on your laurels, you will fail my class. I will not wait for you, nor will I grant you any special treatment just because you are a charity case.”

_Charity case_? Was that all anyone saw in her? Just a nobody with nothing, from nowhere. Her eyes fell on her bandaged knuckles. In the end, she was just like her hand, wasn’t she? Bruised and raw and open.

“Miss Doe, in my class, I expect an answer when I ask a question. From _any_ student.”

Rey didn’t trust her voice, she just nodded, keeping her head down. She swallowed thickly, trying to keep her voice steady. “Y-Yes, sir.”

He dropped his glasses onto his desk as if they were worth nothing. “You are dismissed, Miss Doe.”

 

Kylo watched as Miss Doe practically fled from his office. She was a scrawny thing, way too thin for her height, but pretty. It was clear that the student was exhausted. She had dark circles under her hazel eyes, her left hand was bandaged, and she was limping. It was only when she entered his office, with that hideous abomination of a bag hanging from her right shoulder and the patched blue parka that he recognized her. She was the girl from the staircase. The one that ran past him awkwardly while shielding her face with one hand. She had squeaked a breathless ‘ _Sorry!_ ’ in his direction, while he was deep within the tight sheath of some nameless, faceless lingerie model. She had been limping then too, but it was even worse today and he had noticed that her left side was the weak one - she almost dragged her leg rather than put any real weight on it.

His eyes studied her file once more. Her last name told him everything about her past. _Doe_. It was a name given to children who didn’t have a last name. His eyes flew across the portfolio that Professor Meyer printed out regarding her. There was no meaningful information about her background, only that she had no living relatives and that she was accepted to UHC on a full scholarship. Despite all of it, Rey Doe was one of Meyer’s best students. To be honest, Kylo expected something… _different_. Someone who would lean back during the lecture, knowing full well that no one would dare to utter a word about it. To his surprise, what he found was a girl that was eagerly noting everything he said, trying to soak in as much information and knowledge as possible. Out of curiosity he pulled her latest term paper out of his folder.

Kylo scanned her analytical report about the difference between non-fictional and literary texts. She knew how to write, she was organized and methodical and there was a certain directness in her form of writing. Meyer described her as hardworking and dedicated student and what Kylo witnessed today only confirmed the other professor’s opinion. There was a knock on his door and with an agitated huff at the distraction, he reluctantly put the paper aside. “Come in.”

“Miss Gill, what can I do for you?”

A seductive smirk formed on her full lips as she closed the door behind her. The lock clicked into place.

“Professor, I think I need some _extra_ credit.”

 

Fluffy white flakes had changed into a slushy mixture of rain and snow during the time she had been in class and Rey was sure that there was a teeny tiny man sitting inside her skull, slamming a sledgehammer into her cranial nerves. Dr. Ren’s words echoed in her head like a broken record. She was relieved that tomorrow, at least, she would get a small break from him, only having and Biological Science on her schedule. Deciding that her day was bad enough for now, Rey quickly texted Poe letting him know that she had a ton of things to catch up for college and she would come by the café tomorrow. Once she got home, she would take a shower, jump into her bed and finish the paper that was due by the end of the week… and then, finally, finally get some much-needed sleep. Tomorrow was busy enough as it was, with three lectures on her schedule and then working for the catering business for four hours in the evening. And because she had skipped working at the café with Poe today, she would somehow have to fit that between lectures and work.

Rey looked down at her patched-up parka… she would be soaked to the bone by the time she reached her apartment. Rey went through her options. Option one was walking, possibly getting sick and, worst case scenario, missing a good week of lectures. Option two was taking the bus…. with her student card the ticket would only cost her a dollar. Option number two it was.

Just as Rey decided that taking the bus would be the wisest thing to do, she saw it roll around the corner down the street and stop at the traffic light a few hundred feet away. The bus stop was on the other side of the street, if she ran, she would be able to catch it. Her feet hurt and her left leg ached, but sprinting the few steps across the street, _yeah_ … she could endure that. The bus started to roll again. It moved slowly due to the hill that the university sat on, which began to slope up where the traffic light stood.

In hindsight, Rey could curse her stupidity and carelessness. She took the step off the curb with the wrong foot. Her weight was cushioned solely by her weak left leg and pain exploded in her upper thigh. Like rubber, it folded under her and sent Rey face first into the asphalt of the street. The impact drove every bit of oxygen out of her lungs and the taste of copper exploded in her mouth. Pain radiated from her leg into her entire body. The memories of her injury rushed over her like a tidal wave and pulled Rey directly into her past. Panic overwhelmed her… she was lying on the ground, helpless, unable to defend herself…

She heard cars honk in the distance, but she couldn’t focus. Her arms and legs were heavy and past and present blurred into one confusing mess that Rey was unable to untangle. She heard voices, distant and contorted and she couldn’t understand what they were saying. Then she felt hands on her and she _panicked_. She screamed, and fought against them.

“Rey! Oh God, Rey, it’s _me_!”

Someone shifted her onto her back and through the rain, she recognized the face and the voice. Slowly, thought began to make its way through the fog of her terror. _Finn. Friend. Safe._ There was another man, a stranger, kneeling next to her, his cellphone in his hands - maybe to call an ambulance?

“Rey, can you hear me?” Finn shook her. “Rey, c’mon, focus!”

“Finn?” Was that her voice? She tried again. “Finn, I- my leg.”

“Do you want me to call an ambulance? I don’t think I hit her, I don’t know- _shit_ , she fell directly in front of my car.” The stranger gasped, his voice strained. Rey could see his hazards blinking.  

“Nah, it’s good, mate. I’ve got her. Thanks for your help.”

“You sure? I mean, she doesn’t look good.” The stranger again.

“I’ve got her, thanks.” Finn insisted, pulling Rey tighter to his chest.

The stranger jogged to his car and drove off, leaving Rey and Finn on the sidewalk. Rey, now half-focused again, pulled herself into a sitting position.

“Finn, my leg-”

“I know. I saw it,” was all he said, while he helped her back on her feet. “Come on, let’s get you home and dry. You’ll catch your death in your wet clothes.” Finn helped her stand up. “My car is in the parking lot, do you think you can make it down the street?”

Rey nodded shakily. “Yeah, if you’ll help me, I think I can.”

 

_Finn and Rose’s flat…_

“Here you go.”

Rose sat down next to Rey, handing her a cup of steaming hot tea flavored with caramel and cream, her favorite. Rey was wrapped up like a Christmas present. She had a blanket swaddled around her legs, another one around her shoulders. Her left leg was propped up and a heating pad sent soothing warmth into her cramped muscles.

“Better?” Rose asked, while Finn joined them in the living room. In his hand he had a plate of warmed up Chinese food. “Your lips aren’t blue anymore, I guess that’s a good sign.”

Rose and Finn met a few months before college, and sparks immediately flew. Rey had experienced it all at first hand. Their awkward yet sweet beginning, their charming first months where everything was perfect, and now their calm and settled-in life together. They had moved in together about six months ago. Rose’s dad was a hot shot in a Chinese financial trading company and she managed to land a good position in the same company. Rey was ashamed to admit it, but more than once she found herself jealous of their seemingly easy life. Rose made good money and with her loving parents supporting her, she never had to worry about anything. Finn had a job to help finance the apartment and groceries but had enough left to afford a car and other simple things. He enjoyed taking Rose to dinner and they would invite her to join regularly, but Rey declined more often than not. Sometimes, she longed for the simplicity and ease of their lives. Seeing how utterly enamored Finn was with his girlfriend and how he looked at her like she was the only thing he saw… _it hurt_. Deep down, where Rey’s heart was empty from all the years of loneliness, she longed for something – _someone_ \- to fill that void.

“Yeah, I’m better, thanks.” She replied absentmindedly, swishing the tea around in her cup. God, how she _loathed_ this. She knew Finn and Rose were the last people to call her weak but the way they looked at her, with _pity_ in their eyes… it made Rey’s stomach roll. Yes, she was tired and lonely and utterly exhausted, but she wasn’t _weak_. She hated it.

Finn and Rose exchanged a silent look and Rose cleared her throat uncomfortably, choosing her next words carefully. “You know, Rey, my dad has very good connections. He knows a good doctor here, she’s the best in town and that means something in a city like Hanna. We could make an appointment and have her take a look at your leg, you know? Maybe there’s something that can help you with the- um, with the pain.”

“A doctor already looked at my leg.” Rey said, harsher than she intended but her leg was a sore topic for her. Rose and Finn knew that. When it came to her old injury, Rey was like a caged tiger. If something came close to her, she lashed out.

“Peanut, that was years ago and it was a shitty doctor in a Jakku hospital, which we all know is a junkyard. I wouldn’t be surprised if his medical degree was fake.” Finn put a hand on Rey’s leg, where it rested next to him. “Doctor Holdo is a fantastic doctor, she has an international reputation and many prominent patients-”

Rey cut him off. “Finn, those doctors won’t even arrange appointments for students, especially those on Medicaid.”

Finn looked at his girlfriend helplessly, knowing full well that Rey had a point with what she said. Rose, in silent understanding, cut in herself. “Rey, my dad knows Dr. Holdo. He was her patient for years after his sailing accident. She’s a very nice woman and when we tell her about your injury and that you need help, I’m sure she would make an-” Rose looked at her nervously, “…exception. I’m sure of it.”

“I don’t need _charity_.” She snapped at her friend. _Charity case… just because you are a charity case…_ Dr. Ren’s words echoed in her head.

“Oh, honey, that’s not charity. We want to help you and if we can do so by asking my dad, then it’s definitely-”

Rey held up her hand, stopping her friend from finishing her sentence. “Look, guys, I know you mean well, but even if they could fix my leg, I couldn’t afford it right now.”

That was the crucial point. They all knew that if the doctors could try to fix her leg, it would all come down to an operation and months of rest and proper physical therapy.

“And what about summer break? I mean, that’s a three month break from-”

“Even then, I have to work and study.” Rey sighed and put the cup aside. “But it’s a nice dream.”

 

_Three days later, UHC…_

Dr. Ren was in a foul humor. Everybody in the auditorium could tell from the way the corners of his lips were turned downward in an expression of disgust. If the sour look on his face was not a dead give-away, then the way he slammed his Louis Vuitton briefcase onto the desk harder than he usually did was. Some students had hoped that Dr. Ren’s mood would be a tad bit lifted due to the upcoming weekend, but that was obviously _not_ the case. It was the last lecture of the day for most of them, including Rey. She had tried to perfect her multi-tasking during the last few lectures she had had with Dr. Ren, just in case he called on her again. Despite his attitude, they made it through the lecture without any major incidents. As he ended the lecture, he pulled out a ream of papers, ready to return the first essay due in his course. Rey had poured her heart and blood into the paper to prove to him that she was more than just a charity case.

The papers were in alphabetical order when he handed them out, meaning she was one of the first students to receive hers. Of course, he didn’t give the essay to the students personally. He simply walked up and down the stairs, throwing the paper into the rows of seats. Rey, sitting closest the stairs, felt his scorching gaze on her while he threw the paper onto her table. Her eyes went wide. There, in bright red confirmation, was a B- scrabbled into the top corner. The girl next to her looked at her paper and gasped.

 

“Thanks.” Rey grabbed her essay and carefully filed it into her binder for his Literature I class. With a small smile directed at the girl next to her, Rey slipped out of her seat. “See you on Monday.”

She walked down the stairs, slowly and deliberately this time. The fall three days ago was another reminder that her body was not as durable as she could wish. The knowledge that another aspect of her life was constrained wore on her. When Rey reached the desk where Professor Ren was busy packing his own things, she pulled her shoulders back and held her head high. Oh, how _badly_ she wanted to stop in front of him and say _‘Not so bad for a charity case, huh?’_ No, bad idea. Dr. Ren must have noticed her and straightened up to his full height himself. Rey didn’t spare him another glance while she walked past him.

On her way down the main corridor, Rey felt someone tap her shoulder and turned around. Another student stood behind her, with platinum blond hair, designer glasses and long legs which appeared even longer beneath a _tiny_ skirt. The girl looked at her venomously.

“What did you do to get a B in his class, hm?”

The blonde held up her own essay, with a thick D- scribbled in the top corner.

“I’ve always been his best student,” she seethed through clenched teeth as she stuffed her essay back into her Chanel purse.

 “Do you think you can buy yourself a good grade by sucking his cock?” Rey looked at her, agape. “Oh, please, don’t look so shocked.” She rolled her cerulean blue eyes. “I know what you are, and I know a little low-life rat like you isn’t clever enough-”

“Miss Gill!”

Both girls jumped at the same time, when Dr. Ren’s booming voice echoed directly behind them. He stood only a few feet behind them and Rey was sure he heard a good portion of their conversation. A muscle in his jaw twitched and his free hand was balled into a fist. His knuckles were white. Oh God, he was _livid_.

“Sir,” Miss Gill said innocently, batting her lashes at him. “I was just congratulating-”

The murderous gaze Miss Gill received shut her up immediately. Then his blazing eyes focused on Rey.

“Miss Doe, please leave. Enjoy your weekend.” His voice was void of anger when he spoke to her. “I’ll speak to you on Monday.”

Then he returned his attention to the devil wearing Prada. His voice dropped into the dangerous growl Rey knew well by now. “Miss Gill, my office. _Now_.”

Rey watched in confusion while Professor Ren stormed off with the blonde girl in tow. Frozen on the spot, Rey recapped the last two minutes in her mind. What the hell just happened? He was angry at the other student for calling her what he had called her only a few days before? He seemed almost… _apologetic._ Shaking her head, she turned around and walked down the corridor. _What in the world just happened?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys, so, this is it… second chapter.^^ First off, I want to say a HUGE thank you, to all of you, I was blown away by the reaction to the first chapter and your comments just made my day! :)   
> I think in the future the chapters will be longer, but I think it takes a certain time to get really ‘into’ a story as the person that writes it, you know what I mean?^^  
> When I started to write this story, I knew I wanted Rey to have an injury, the injury on her leg honestly happened while I wrote, so this was actually unplanned because I didn’t know what kind of injury I wanted to plague her with. The purpose of this… well, you’ll find out later.   
> Yes, Prof. Ren can be nice, if he wants to and if he’s in the mood for it. We will have another interaction between our spacebabies in the next chapter. 
> 
> I am now on tumblr you can find me here and I will post regularly when a new chapter is posted https://callmealessandra.tumblr.com/
> 
> Xoxo Alessandra


	3. Nightlife

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Thing we've been all waiting for… protective Professor Ren... Enjoy!

_Café ‘Big Easy’…_

Saturday was a lazy day for the citizens of Hanna City with a few exceptions. One of those exceptions was the ‘ _Big Easy’_. It was buzzing with life. The freezing rain didn’t stop the customers from rolling in. Despite the busy coming and going of people, Rey and Poe had taken a seat in the far corner of the café. Rey brought her new schedule for the coming semester, while Poe was armed with his own planner.

“Wow, your schedule is packed.” Poe said, studying her schedule. “I guess a five-hour shift is out of question.”

Rey took a sip of the toothachingly sweet hot-chocolate Poe had made her. She grimaced slightly, for the sweetness attacking her senses and the thought of losing money. “I’ve never had so many classes during the week.”

Poe gave her his sympathetic half-smile he somehow always gave her, when Pe knew that there was something on her mind that depressed her. He checked the time-plates for the other staff members, drawing red circles here and there. He did a double-heck before sliding the paper over the table.

“Okay, I think this works out pretty good.”

Poe leaned over and Rey got a nose full of his after-shave. It was somehow neutral and not intrusive but had something spicy about it. “On Mondays you can have the closing shift. You lock everything up and then be home around nine.” He studied her closely, a look of worry on his face. “Unless you don’t want to walk home alone late.”

Rey quickly put him off. “Don’t worry about that. I’ll take the closing shift.”

For a second Poe looked like he wanted to protest but stopped himself from doing so. “Tuesday and Thursday are totally packed by the other staff. On Wednesday you can have the full five-hour shift. Oh, and on Friday you can squeeze in late noon for three hours.”

In the end the plan Poe arranged for her had a total of eight hours the week. Three hours less than she was working now for him. In sum a total of thirty bucks the week and one-hundred and twenty dollar the month. She could barely pay her bills as it was now and to putting aside money at the moment? Absolutely off the chart. Her audaciously high rent for the ramshackle derelict she was living in, combined with the money she for her schoolbooks, laptop and food and all the other stuff-

“Rey, are you still with me?”

“Hm?” She tore her head out of the cloud that it was stuck in. “What?”

Poe chuckled and closed his planner. “The way you looked out of the window, you were miles away.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to. I think the plan looks good.”

Poe seemed content too. “If you need more hours, we can always try to squeeze you in between shifts. Just tell me, okay?”

“I will.” Rey leaned back into the comfortable seat and the pillows in her back, stifling a yawn with the back of her hand. “Oh God, sorry. I didn’t get much sleep.”

Poe drew his brows together. He always did that when he was worried, angry or all of the above. After a year working for Poe, Rey knew most of his little peculiarities. The eye-brow thing was just one of the most noticeable ones.

“Rey, I know I’m technically your boss-,”

“Technically? Poe, you _are_ my boss.”

He rubbed his neck, obviously a little thrown off the topic by her comment and made a face before he continued. “Look, all I’m saying is that I don’t see myself as the typical boss. This café, this is my everything and the staff is my family. Including you. I know you need the money, but if you need a little time for yourself and to rest, just- just tell me, alright?”

Rey could barely stop the burning behind her eyes, quickly turning her head away from Poe. With Finn and Rose, Poe was the only Person in Hanna that was friendly to Rey. When she had arrived here a year ago, she asked him for a job and even though he hadn’t been looking for a help, Poe gave her the job. He was right, he wasn’t the typical boss. He was a friend.

“Hey, come on, I didn’t mean to- oh, Rey, no, don’t cry.” Poe scooted over to her and threw his arm around her shoulders. “Hey, come on.” He nudged her chin gently with his knuckles. His warm brown eyes twinkled when he gave her his knees-weakening charming smile that lured every female of Hanna into his café.

She leaned into his embrace and rested her head on his shoulder. “Poe, you’re the best.”

Poe laughed, trying to lift the heavy mood between them up. “Honey, tell me something I don’t know. Speaking off, I heard you have a new professor.”

Rey looked at him surprised. “How did you know?”

Poe shrugged. “Finn told me. I met him last week for a beer at Maz’s. He sounds like an ass.”

_Ah, of course_. Finn and Poe were best friends. They had met a few years before Rey arrived in Hanna. They met in Maz’s Pub and from then on, they were practically attached by the hip. Realizing that her boss was the best friend of her friend she met when college started was, like you can imagine, a total disaster and took weeks before Rey finally found out about it.

“Um, he’s _-,” An asshole, an arrogant jerk who thinks he’s better than others, cruel and insufferable. Adding to it,_ _he called me a social case, so… No_! But she wouldn’t tell Poe nor Finn what Professor Ren said to her in his office. So, she just stuck to the basics.

“Yes, he’s quite… um-,” she was searching for the right word. “Unfriendly.”

Yet he had stopped the other student – Miss Gill – from insulting her further. “Despite everything, his lectures are amazing. I think he’ll teach me much.”

“That’s good…. that’s- good.” Poe said absentmindedly. With his free hand he rubbed the back of his neck. His bicep flexed beneath his cream-colored cotton shirt.

Rey always acknowledged the fact that Poe Dameron was a good-looking man. He was attractive, a smooth talker and he had something about him, that made him absolutely charming in every way. Of course, his tousled dark hair, the brown eyes and five o’clock shadow of a beard rounded everything up.   

Women and girls from all around heard of the good-looking café owner and became regular customers, hoping Poe would notice them. Ultimately Poe’s looks saved him a secure amount of giggling and blushing customers. Not all of them female, may that be added. 

Working for Poe over the past year, Rey was consumed by college, studying and work. Over the semester breaks, where she could spend a little bit more of her time with him, Finn and Rose, she noticed that the dynamics between Poe and her had somehow _changed_. When Poe thought she wasn’t looking, he would study her, his eyes lingering on her. There was a small hint of affection in his eyes, every time he looked at Poe’s extremely flirty way of talking to women was nowhere to be seen, when he talked to Rey. Of course, he would tease and pull her legs daily but there was just something different about the way he was talking to her.

“Rey, I’ve wanted to ask you this for quite a while now.”

Rey’s breath staggered, and her heart fluttered. Oh, please no… she liked Poe, she did, but the thought of their friendship turning to something more, that was out of question for her.

“Poe-,”

“Would you mind keeping BB with you, next weekend? I have business out of town and Rose is allergic to dogs, so-,”

Rey let out her breath, that she had been holding. “Hey, that’s no problem. Don’t worry about it.”

“Great!” Poe gave her a heart-warming smile, showing his white even teeth. “I’ll bring him over on Friday. If that’s okay with you?”

Rey nodded vigorously. “That’s great, I mean- I thought, um, don’t worry. I’ll handle everything here. You know I love him.”

After a pregnant silence between the two of them, Poe cleared his throat. “Rey, I was thinking, well- maybe, only if you want of course-,”

The bell above the door jingled and a group of five people came in, dressed in thick winter jackets and armed with umbrellas. Rey had never been more thankful for that bell in her entire life.

“Oh, shit, sorry, gotta take care of the ladies. André has his hands full in the kitchen.”

Poe winked at her and jumped up, walking to the register in his usual swagger. “Hello, ladies, what can I get you?”

Poe, the smooth talker. Rey, now alone, sighed and put her new schedule into her pocket. She downed her cocoa quickly and grabbed her bag. Poe, busy behind the register, noticed that and waved her a quick goodbye. Rey herself waved back before she fled the ‘ _Big Easy’_.

 

The walk home was bone-chillingly cold and within minutes her jeans were soaked, just like her jacket. Rey reached the arcades, her apartment complex, and unlocked the front door. Inside, she was met with the familiar smell of mold, smoke and alcohol. It was loud at every time of the day. Music, screams or television noises came through the thin walls. Rey, now used to the noise, didn’t really care much about the yelling coming from the apartment directly next to the mailboxes by the staircase leading up. When Rey walked past the door, loud screaming erupted from behind the door again and something that sounded like a vase, Rey’s guess was a hookah, shattered when it hit the wall. The couple living inside was rather dubious and Rey had kept her distance. When she thought about it, she had kept distance to all the inhabitants of the arcades.

The girl inside apartment 01 was screaming at her boyfriend and he screamed right back in the same volume that made the walls shake. Rey had only seen the couple once and one time was ample. The girl had greasy black hair with purple strands in them, her skin was pale, and she had dark circles under her eyes. Her boyfriend didn’t look any better. His skin was just as grey and he had the same hollow look in his dull eyes.

“ _I told you not to buy from Marcus! How many fucking times did I tell you? His shit is stretched, too expensive!”_

_“I fucking told you just now I didn’t buy form him!”_

A baby a few floors above started to cry due to the screaming. Rey shook her head with a sigh, shouldered her bag and was about to walk up the stairs to her apartment, which on the second floor, while the argument between the couple continued.

“ _Oh, yeah?”_ Came her snarky reply. “ _And why the fuck did a creepy asshole knock on our door an hour ago, huh?”_

Rey stopped dead in her tracks. No, she was paranoid, this was surely nothing that concerned her. As much as she understood, the couple living in 01 were drug addicts and dealt with the wrong crowd of people.  

_“Ah, leave me the fuck alone. I didn’t buy from Marcus. This is too fucking stupid. I’m leaving.”_

The door flew open and the same man with the dull eyes came out, fuming and cussing while he threw on his jacket. He noticed her on the steps and snarled “What the fuck are you looking at, stupid bitch?” The he stormed out of the door.

Walking up the stairs, she pulled out her keys and unlocked her door. Her apartment was small with a small bedroom, separate bathroom and open living-space. Her bedroom was the best-kept room of the apartment. The walls weren’t cracked and the window-frame without mold. The rest of her apartment… well, that was another story. Rey had tried to make herself at home a little with the sparse money she had. A small couch she bought on a garage sale, a table and a small TV in her living room was the tiniest bit of luxury she was able to afford when she moved to Hanna. The kitchen was a small booth with a simple heating plate, a mini-fridge and a sink. The microwave on the floor was the success of another raid through the neighborhood trash. Her bathroom was by far the worst room of the entire apartment. The mold was bad and even though Rey vigorously scrubbed it away every weekend, it always returned thanks to the broken air circulation system. Rey couldn’t keep the apartment as warm as it was necessary to keep the mold at bay and the walls dry due to the fuel bill being separately charged. It was hard enough to finance herself as it was at the moment and a huge heating-bill, no thank you.

After getting rid of her soaked clothes, double-checking the lock in the door, Rey made herself comfortable with her notes from the last week on her couch. She had a few hours before the next catering job she could use to get some university stuff done. To everyone’s surprise, Professor Ren had spared them with homework or a paper over the weekend. Rey used the time to simply re-read her notes and write them down again, _tidy_ this time.

Rey looked at the staple of notes she took during Professor Ren’s classes with a sigh. Once again, her mind wandered to the confrontation with the other student. Rey was used to being looked down at by the other students of Hanna. It was obvious that Rey would have never gotten a place amongst the privileged rows of students if it wasn’t for her scholarship. But being accused of sleeping with a professor in exchange for good grades, that was a new low in her life. Rey wanted to forget the incident and swore up and down that she wouldn’t allow the words of Miss Gill to get too close to her, but curiosity got the better of her. She managed to stay strong for two whole hours before she grabbed her phone and called Finn. A soon as she was done telling him about her run-in with the student, his prompt reply was ‘ _Do not get into a fight with that chick’._ Well, tough luck. Johanna Gill was one of Hanna’s most rich and famous. High society and prestige student of UHC. And one of Ren’s best students.

Rey remembered the livid look on Professor Ren’s face and the deathly look he gave Johanna. He had called Rey a social case, insulted her just the same but stepped between Johanna and Rey before the other female could lash out again. Why did he? She just didn’t understand him and slowly but surely, she got a headache from racking her brain about it. In the end Rey decided it was best to endure the year with Professor Ren and make the best out of it.

 

_‘Lunatic’, Hanna City…_

Rey maneuvered her way through the crowd, holding the tray of food high above her head. Her shift was almost over, just an hour left and she was free to go. It was a better job than the last one, considering she could wear flats instead of those ridiculous heels like the last time. The guests were… well, if Rey could speak her mind, she would entitle them as uppity moneybags. But, thank goodness, she wasn’t. The men were leering at her legs, blatantly ogling her like she was piece of meat and the women scrunched their noses and laughed at her for doing a job like this. Rey, used to comments like these by now, straightened her shoulders and ignored he jabs. Rey was busy picking up empty champagne glasses on tables around the club. Her tray was empty enough that she could take them back to the kitchen. Stapling the glasses onto the tray, Rey threw a quick glance at the small watch she wore around her wrist. Thirty minutes left. Baffled she wondered where the past thirty minutes went, since she last looked at her watch. But Rey was absent-minded. The conversation with Poe made her realize a few things. Things she shouldn’t be worried about because there were thousands of other, more important points on her agenda. If, and it was a big if, Poe had feelings for, what would that mean for their friendship slash business relation?

How would he react when she told him she saw a good friend in him but nothing more? Would he fire her, terminate her contract and send her to hell? Would he act all understanding and cool and repay her during work with payment cuts and less hours to work and eventually fire her in that scenario too? _Okay, Rey, stop this. You’re driving yourself crazy…_

Suddenly, someone tapped her on her shoulder and with a gasp Rey whirled around. A few glasses on her tray tipped over and fell to the floor, shattering by her feet. People around her looked up and pointed at her.

“Ah, shit!” Rey cursed and whirled around, at the same time a male voice behind her said “Woah, sorry!”

The cause of bad luck was a young man standing behind her and everything about him screamed ‘ _my daddy’s a lawyer, I can do whatever the hell I want’._ His dirty blond hair was sleeked back and somehow, Rey suspected that his eyebrows were plucked too. He was good-looking. He had an angular face that could very well be that of a male model with straight jawlines and high cheekbones, with blue eyes and full lips. He wore a designer shirt, the first to buttons undone and white trousers.

Rey glared at the broken glasses on the floor and then at him. “It’s- don’t worry.”

She knelt down and began picking up the shards, successfully cutting herself with one. Rey was sure that he enjoyed his view down her V-neck of her white shirt while looking down on her. Of course, it was above his precious hands to help her.

“Sorry, I saw you garner the glasses and thought I could pass you mine, too.”

Rey tried to ignore him, while she stood up, wiping her bloody thumb on her black jeans, cursing inside her head, while the cut burned like hell. He placed the glass on her tray without even asking her if that was okay for her. Rey reminded herself to breath and to get the murderous thoughts under control.

“That’s no problem. Enjoy the party.”

She wanted to turn around, but she was once again stopped by his hand that landed heavily on her shoulder, successfully stopping her from walking, remediation, _running_ away.

“Hey, don’t you have a minute for me? I noticed you earlier and I think you’re pretty cute, so I thought-,”

Rey shook off his hand with a little too much force and his flirtatious smile faded and turned into a somehow pinched grimace. He wasn’t used to rejection. Rey felt more uncomfortable with every passing second standing close to him.

Reminding herself that this was her job, she gave him a forced smile. “Thanks, but I still have to work so excuse me, please.”

But once again, he stopped her from going to the kitchen. This time he simply stepped in her way, blocking her path to the kitchen with his body. He was a head taller than she was and slowly but surely, this became a situation that Rey didn’t like.

“Hey, c’mon, honey, don’t be like this.” His voice was strained and anger was underlaying his words now. Rey’s eyes flew to his hands and with growing panic, she noticed they were balled to tight fists by his sides. “I know it’s you job. But you’re surely not busy the whole night, right? You know what I mean?” He gave her a lewd top-to-bottom look.

“I know exactly what you mean.” She spat and stormed around him, finally saving herself to the security of the kitchen, closed for guests.

The rest of her shift went by without anything strange happening to her. Well, since she barricaded herself inside the kitchen, helping with the dishes the chances for another meeting with the creep from before were sparse. Rey stamped her time sheet before she quickly exited the _Lunatic_ through the escape hatch at the back of the club so she wouldn’t have to walk through the club.

Rey was greeted by cold, fresh air when she finally exited the club. She took in a deep breath of the crisp night air. The smoke inside the _Lunatic_ gave her a massive headache over past three hours. Most of the guests were smoking cigars and the stench of it seeped into her skin and clothes. So, for the long walk home, Rey was glad about the fresh air. She made sure to have her ears everywhere, listening for suspicious sounds behind her. Hanna City had a low crime rate but being a young woman and walking home late and alone, was always and everywhere dangerous. She wasn’t far away from the club when she heard footsteps behind her and the back door of the club closing. Rey tensed immediately. There was a pressing feeling at the back of her neck and fear crept up her spine. Someone followed her. Being a child of Jakku, a city with sky-rocketing criminality, taught her several important lessons before she was ultimately admitted to the care-system. Be prepared for _anything_ at _any time_. She braced herself for the attack, holding onto her mobile in the pocket of her jacket. The steps came closer, one, two… three. A heavy hand landed on her shoulder.

Rey screamed, and her fight or flight instinct kicked in. She whirled around, holding her free hand up, ready to punch and scratch if necessary-

“Hey, whoa! Just me.”

It was him. The creep from the club. Rey couldn’t conceal her anger, while she snapped at him. “Are you serious? You gave me a heart attack!”

He shrugged apologetic. “Sorry, kitten, I didn’t mean to scare you.” He laughed, as if he found himself and this whole situation hilarious. Just for him laughing she wanted to punch him square in the face. “You forgot our date. So, I asked a colleague of yours where you went, and can you imagine how surprised I was, when she told me you already left?”

He got closer… uncomfortably close for Rey’s taste.

Trying to act all surprised, she hit her forehead with her hand slightly. “Yeah, um- sorry about that. I didn’t really understand it as a… _date_.”

He waved it off, looking over his shoulder. Somehow this movement was the last thing that sent her from wariness to fear and her heart missed a beat. He checked if they were _alone_. “Don’t worry, honey. Hey, my car’s just by the entrance and my place only a blog away. So-,”

Taking a few careful steps back, Rey tried to bring some distance between herself and him but that was useless. He simply followed her. “Thanks, but I have stuff for university tomorrow. So, maybe another time.”

His arm shot forward and his hand wrapped around her upper arm. _Tight_. Rey groaned, pain shot along her upper arm when he yanked her to his body, their fronts colliding. His face was a mask of pure anger.

“C’mon, bitch, I can be gentle but looks like you like it the hard way, huh?”

Rey got sick almost immediately, bile rising in her throat while she fought against the man holding her tightly. Her upper arms were going to bruise, she was sure of it. “Let go! _Let me go!_ ”

“Stop- struggling, you bitch!”

No matter how hard Rey fought against him, he was just too strong for her. With her disadvantaged leg, she stood no chance against him. Mercilessly, he kept on dragging Rey into the alley next to them. _No, no, no_ …!

“Let me go! Let go-,”

What happened next, was too fast for Rey’s panic filled mind to process. One second, she was fighting against the asshole trying to drag her into the alley and in the next second, she was free. Rey was yanked backwards against a solid wall of warmth and muscle. There was a band of steel around her middle, an arm? Her attacker writhed on the floor, a hand on his nose and blood running down between his fingers. She held onto the arm like it was her anchor to reality. Did this really happen just now?

The asshole on the floor spat a load of blood onto the wet concrete, swaying slightly when he got back to his feet.

“What the fuck are you doing, Ren? Who _the fuck_ do you think you are, huh?!”

Rey froze in the safety of the embrace. She turned her head to look at her savior. Her knees went weak. Behind her, with an arm wrapped around her waist and his fist bloodied, stood Professor Ren. He just snorted. It was an utterly arrogant and male sound and it made Rey even more aware of the fact, that Professor Ren was probably one of the most self-assured males on planet earth. He was utterly undefeated in his masculinity. He was dominant and didn’t shy away from a fight.

“If I see you anywhere _near_ her ever again, Stanley, I’ll rip your goddamn throat out.” Ren snarled and pushed Rey harder against his body.

Somehow, even though she was about to vomit being close to Stanley, she was no relenting in Professor Ren’s embrace. A strange sense of calmness filled her, and Rey realized, that she was safe with him. He would protect her.

 

Kylo Ren was a man of many secrets. A few darker than others, but that’s not the point here. One of his secrets was… rather _unusual_. He hated weekends. Despised them for their leisure and lack of distraction. While other people already celebrated on Thursday, he did the opposite. So, he had trained himself to keep a certain routine on weekends. Stand up and have breakfast, work-out. The rest of his day, he would stay in his office and correct papers, prepare his lectures for the coming week. The invitation to the Lunatic came at the right time, just when he was about to go up the roof with his unexplainable volatile break-outs, his phone rang. It was the same underwear model he had fucked on New Year’s Eve and for a brief second, he wanted to ask how the fuck she managed to get his number. He was restless as always and ready to either break something or get drunk, on a level dunk that he wouldn’t remember his own name. The prospect of a quick fuck, a cigarette and a few drinks changed his mind, though. Kylo agreed to meet Portia, he didn’t even know her name until she told him on the phone, at the _Lunatic_.

Kylo met Portia at the entrance, just like they agreed and quickly went inside. Portia wore a dark red dress that night, that was sinfully short and showed off her mile-long legs and graceful ankles. She wore black stiletto pumps combined with her dress and it made his cock strain against the inside of his pants already thinking about fucking her, while she wore her heels. While they lounged in the VIP area of the club, with her legs draped across his lap and her hand on his chest, more than once playing with his nipple through the fine silk of his shirt. People around them didn’t care. Firstly, because it was the VIP-lounge and no one cared what happened there and secondly, he was Kylo Ren and everyone in Hanna City knew him and feared his and his family’s wrath. While he allowed his eyes to wander over the exclusive crowd that came to the _Lunatic_ to find a partner, someone to sleep with or simply distraction like he did, he found familiar faces. One of them was like a bucket of ice-cold water that was dumped over his head. He sat straight up in his seat, throwing Portia almost off of the red-velvet couch. _Miss Doe._ She scurried through the club like a little gerbil, carrying trays with food and drinks. She wore a white t-shirt and black pants, a red apron around her small waist told him, she was working for the catering service. _So_ , he thought, _that was the reason why she was at the hotel on New Year’s Eve_. She was too busy with her work, running from table to table, making bows around people. Kylo noticed the leering glances that men gave her, hungrily and openly ogling her body from head to toe and somehow, this made Kylo incredibly angry. The looked at her like a piece of meat. And then Stanley Peterson made a move on her. He sneaked up on her, throwing a glance over his shoulder to his friends, who gave him a signal to go on. She whirled around, and empty glasses fell to the floor, bursting by her feet. Of course, that son of a bitch Stanley leered down, directly into the V-line of her white shirt, while she collected the shards. Portia’s lips at the nape of his neck tore his gaze finally from the disaster that was unfolding before his eyes.

“Kylo, baby, c’mon, I’ve been asking you for five minutes if you want to leave and go to my apartment?”

Kylo didn’t even hear a single word that Portia said. All his senses and his thoughts were concentrated on his student, who was now obviously more than uncomfortable with Stanly blocking her way to the kitchen door. Kylo didn’t even feel the pain of his blunt nails digging into the palms of his hands. Stanley had a reputation of being… intrusive with women. It was rumored that Stanley was reported by several women. Magically, all charges or accusations were dropped at some point. In the end, Stanley’s father was a district attorney with never ending sources if information, money and powerful friends. Not forgetting that his mother was a judge at court too, Stanley never had any problems with the law. And Kylo knew the type of girls Stanley preyed on. Helpless girls, with no money nor contacts in the city that could be potentially dangerous for him. Miss Doe fit perfectly into that picture. She finally managed to get rid of him and fled into the kitchen. Pretty much like she fled the auditorium every day. Kylo was able to relax a little more, his erection already forgotten, just like the model trying to get him to that state again. He rolled his neck, trying to ease the tension in his muscles. This girl…, she pestered his mind since the time she fled his office. Miss Doe had something so innocent, so pure and raw that Kylo wanted to protect and destroy at the same time.

Portia huffed, crossing her arms across her big chest. “You know, if you don’t want to fuck tonight, you should have said so before.” She pursed her lips, like a little child. A gesture that made Kylo agitated because he knew, deep down, Miss Doe would never put such a childish behavior on display despite the difference in age.

“Then leave.” He snapped and threw her legs off his lap.

“Asshole!” Portia flipped him the bird, before she stormed off, throwing her arms in the air, cussing him out the entire way out of the club.

“Fuck!”

With one wipe of his arm, he threw the glasses off of the table in front of him. His vision became narrow and he was breathing hard. Conversations around him stopped and people gave him a weary look. He was stone-sober by now, his last drink he’d downed over an hour ago, and thank God for that, or else Kylo would have not noticed, that Stanley disappeared from his sight. Frantic, he quickly looked at the direction where Stanley and the group of his friends stood, and he wasn’t there, either. Kylo’s legs moved on their own accord, towards the group of boys. He would never label these stuck-up rich kids as _men_. One noticed him, his eyes widening but he couldn’t warn his friends before. Kylo was fast and wrapped his fist around the collar of his blue shirt, pulling him up. He was considerably taller than the younger boy in front of him, so he had to stand on his tiptoes.

“What the fuck, man? Let me go!” The guy said, struggling under Kylo’s hold.

“Where’s Stanley?” He seethed through clenched teeth.

“You’re fucking insane, bro! Let go-,”

Kylo yanked on the collar, successfully pulling the boy off of his feet. “Where is Stanley?” He roared directly into his face.

The boy paled. “I don’t know, okay?” He pointed at the door behind the bar at the opposite wall of the club. “He went to the kitchen.”

Kylo knew _exactly_ , where Stanley went. He threw the boy into the group of his friends so hard that he stumbled. His friends caught him before he went straight onto his ass. Kylo stormed through the kitchen door and ignored angry calls from workers he interrupted, while he marched through the kitchen, towards the back exit. He busted through the door and into the cool night air. He arrived just in time.

Stanley held her close to his body and Miss Doe was fighting with all her strength against him, while he pulled her towards the alleyway next to them. Kylo saw the raw, pure expression of terror on Miss Doe’s face – he saw _red_. One second, he stood by the door and in the other, he was already in front of Stanley. Kylo didn’t even realize he sprinted forward until has balled up fist collided with Stanley’s nose. Satisfaction flooded Kylo’s entire system, when he saw the blood run through Stanley’s fingers, while he cupped his nose. Then, he noticed something else. A small, shaking body that was pressed tightly against his. Kylo looked down and saw himself holding Miss Doe tightly pressed to his body, her back to his front, his arm tightly wrapped around her waist. When did that happen?

Stanley spat a load of blood onto the wet concrete, swaying slightly when he got back to his feet.

“What the fuck are you doing, Ren? Who _the fuck_ do you think you are, huh?!”

A fresh flood of blood leaked through Stanley’s fingers, when he stood straight again.

“You broke my fucking nose! For a little bitch like her, huh?!” Stanley’s face was red with anger, he looked like his head was about to explode while he yelled.

Kylo hit him square in the face. With a howl, Stanley went to the ground and stayed down.

He leaned down, just in case and to make sure that Stanley understood every single word he said. “If I see you anywhere _near_ her ever again, Stanley, I’ll rip your goddamn throat out.”

Kylo’s chest was still heaving and his breath erratic, when the red veil in front of his eyes slowly lifted. Miss Doe was shaking like a leaf in his arms. He could feel her blunt nails digging into his arm through the thick fabric of his coat. He would have ripped Stanley into pieces, if it wasn’t for the girl trembling in his arms right now. Kylo was pulled from his world of barely controlled anger, when Miss Doe made a sound between a gasp and a groan. Kylo realized it was because he held onto her so tightly, he was probably hurting her with his grip, so he loosened his arm around her waist a little. He didn’t trust her good leg to carry her weight right now. Carefully he turned her around, keeping one arm around her waist, the other one on her upper arm to stabilize her.

“He wanted t-,”

“I know _exactly_ , what he wanted to do.” Kylo growled and he’d love nothing more than to kick the asshole already lying on the ground. But he had more pried than to kick an animal already on the ground.  A dry sob tore its way through Miss Doe’s chest and her chin started to quiver. Kylo was sure that, as pale as she was, Rey was either going to break down in a hysterical fit or vomit. He needed to swallow his own anger and first and foremost, comfort the young woman in front of him. Gently, like he wanted to coax a wild cat to trust, he turned her around, checking for any injuries. He swore to God, if Stanley hit her-,

“Miss Doe, are you hurt?”

She didn’t respond, she was still looking at her attacker absolutely horrified. Kylo grabbed her arms gently, being carefully not to squeeze too tightly, knowing that the places where Stanley had grabbed her probably still hurt.

“Rey.” He lowered his voice and leaned down, so they were on eyelevel. “ _Look at me_.”

Her eyes shot up to him, her pupils were dilated and swallowed almost all the hazel green iris of her eyes.

“Professor Ren?”

She sounded disorientated and her voice was shaking. Simply hearing her talking like this made him want to commit homicide.

“Rey, _focus_ , did he _hurt_ you?” He empathized his words with a small shake. “Did he?”

She shook her head, slowly freeing herself from his hands. “No, he- he tried to pull me into that alley-,”

She paused and Kylo was almost sure she was fighting down bile, the way she was swallowing a few times.  

Kylo gave Stanley a disgusted look. “I know, I saw it.”

“You’re a dead man, Ren.”

Stanley got onto all fours with a groan and spat blood and a tooth out. “I’ll fucking end you, Ren! You and that little bitch, I bet you two are fucking-,”

Kylo just snorted, knowing Stanley’s father was a small man compared to his own prestigious family and that Richard Peterson would rather bite of his own tongue and disinherit his own son, before he’d make a move against Kylo and his family.

“Miss Doe, we’ll take our leave.”

Kylo guided Rey with a hand on her back past Stanley, gently but firm. Miss Doe, who was a little more responsive by now, threw one last look over her shoulder to the man that would have done something unspeakable to her, if not for Kylo coming to the rescue.

“Professor, thank you.” Her voice was a little firmer than before, but she was still shaking head to toe. “I’ve got you into enough trouble tonight, so- just, please enjoy your evening. I’ll just walk home and-,”

Kylo arched his brows at her and stopped mid-step, almost making her bump into his side. “You want to _walk_ home?”

“Y-Yes, I’ll always walk.”

This girl was just… _unbelievable_. “Miss Doe, up until now you were able to convince me, that you are a smart girl.” He looked at her incredulous. “Now, I remedy myself.”

“Professor-,”

“No, Miss Doe, I do not tolerate any backtalk.” He said through clenched teeth. “If I hadn’t been there in time-, did you not learn a single thing from this incident?”

She looked down on her hands. “I learned that I shouldn’t get into a fist fight with you, obviously.”

Kylo snorted. “Don’t get smart with me, Miss Doe.”

He unlocked his Porsche that was parked near the entrance of the _Lunatic_ , by pressing a button on his key. Yellow lights flashed in the darkness.

“I’m driving you home. No buts.”

He opened the passenger’s door and motioned for her to get in. She looked at the car like a deer caught in the headlights.

He sighed. “Miss Doe, I won’t let anything happen to you tonight. Not again. So, _please_ , get in.”

“Please, Professor I don’t want you to get in trouble for driving a student, I’ll take the bus, I promise-,”

With a growl that emanated from the depths of his chest he walked around the car and took her gently by the elbow. “Miss Doe, get in the car.” He said, his voice commanding. “I am your professor and thus, responsible for your safety. So, get in the car before I stop pretending that I care for your consent in this matter.”

Kylo could see the inner battle that she was fighting. Both of them knew that she wouldn’t be able to win against him in this matter, but he found out during the week of teaching her, that this girl had an unbreakable sense of pride. Carefully she slid into the lowered sportscar. Quickly closing the door behind her, before she got the idea of jumping out again, he got into the driver’s seat. This girl was a goddamn mystery.

With a smooth roar, the engine came to life. “Where do you live?”

Miss Doe tried to avoid his gaze. It was more than obvious that she felt uncomfortable. Was it because of the car or him? Or both?

“Um, the Arcades.”

Kylo froze for a second. The Arcades. It was a deprived area with criminal rates that skyrocketed compared to the rest of the city. A girl like her, living there all alone…

“I can direct you?” She offered politely, probably thinking he didn’t know where the Arcades were, due to him hesitating.

He cleared his throat, grabbing the shift. “I know where the Arcades are. Just point me to your complex.”

 

Rey felt out of place. This whole situation was utterly _surreal_. She just witnessed her professor knock her potential rapist into the dirt! The chance to ever get into a situation like that was a clear zero percent chance, in Rey’s opinion. Yet, here she was. Sitting in her professor’s expensive sports car while he was driving her home. _This_ was very real. The insides of his car smelled clean, of leather and his expensive aftershave. The engine was humming in a deep timbre, the silent jazz music playing on the radio and Professor Ren’s smooth driving style almost lulled Rey to sleep. He took the curves smoothly and she was almost sure, he was driving a little more careful than usual for her sake. Her eyelids were heavy, oh, how badly she wanted to lean her head against the seat and close them. There was something so soothing about his presence now, it was so different from his appearance during his lectures.

“You can close your eyes, Miss Doe.” His spoke into the silence of the car. “It was a hard night for you.”

Of course, he _noticed_. Rey felt a blush creep into her cheeks. She turned her head away from him, hoping that the darkness of the car was enough to hide the redness of her face. What was wrong with her? This was the man that called her a social case just a few days ago! His words hurt her, cut her deep and made her question herself repeatedly. Yet, here she sat wanting nothing more but to close her eyes. Because she felt _safe_. To distract herself from her exhaustion, Rey studied Professor Ren. His eyes were trained on the road, one hand on the steering wheel, the other one comfortably on the shift. If she didn’t know better, she would have thought he was comfortable, even _relaxed_.

“Professor, why did you punch that guy? If he files a complaint against you because of me, I would-,”

With a sudden halt, Professor Ren stopped in the middle of the street and pressed the button for the emergency lights. He sighed. It was deep sound from somewhere in his chest that sounded like he was about to scold her.

“Rey, look at me.”

It was the second time he used her name. Her first name. _Her_ name. It was so strange hearing it from him, his deep voice made it sound different. It made Rey feel different about herself. A car came to a stop behind them, honked a few times before driving past them. Professor Ren didn’t look, his dark eyes were trained on her. Rey’s eyes finally met his.

“He was going to hurt you, Rey. Do you realize what would have happened if I didn’t come at the right time?” His words were dead serious. He took a calming breath. “So, don’t worry about Stanley, Miss Doe. He’s my problem and now close your eyes. Just for a little bit.”

 

The rest of the drive to the Arcades was silent and neither Rey nor Professor Ren said a word. She was dead tired and even though her Professor practically ordered her to rest her eyes, she wouldn’t. The silence wasn’t uncomfortable, but rather comforting. It was an unspoken agreement that this situation would stay between them. It was dangerous, for both and Rey knew it, Professor Ren sure as hell was aware of that, too. He shouldn’t be in the same car with her, hell, he shouldn’t have touched her to begin with. It was a compromising position. It could endanger his position as teacher.

“This is the right house?” He asked into the silence, looking at the complex.

Rey noticed the scrutinizing look on Professor Ren’s face, while he looked at the apartment block she lived in. She knew what he saw. Dirty, cracked walls with graffiti all over them and a few overflowing dumpsters by the door. She saw the scrunch of his nose and the wrinkles appearing on his forehead. A run-down apartment building for people that were the lowest of society. Rey imagined what his home looked like. It was surely a penthouse with every luxury imaginable. Professor Ren, was surely living a life surrounded by luxury and was now looking at her life. Which was everything but glamorous. Rey felt hot humiliation burning in her veins. Sitting here in his sports car that was her student’s fee for five years of college. The urge to bolt from his car and flee into her own tiny world of problems and deprivations came over her. Being a creature of habits and having listened to her instincts her entire life, she grabbed the strap of her bag and practically stumbled out of the car.

“Professor, thank you. Very much, for he ride and for helping me-,”

There was an unreadable expression on his face, it looked like he wanted to say something, but he managed to stop himself from doing so.

“Miss Doe-,”

“Goodnight, Professor.” She closed the door, shutting him out.

The staircase smelled of mold and smoke, loud music blared inside apartment 01 despite the nightly hour. Rey dragged her tired body up the stairs to her apartment and quickly locked herself inside her small little world, closing herself off from Professor Ren and his enigmatic eyes. Despite the locked door, she couldn’t stop herself from looking through the curtains in front of the window facing the street. He was still there, parked in front of her building. She could feel his smoldering eyes still on her. She pulled the curtain close and turned her back to the window, deciding it was for the best to keep their worlds apart.

 

Kylo didn’t know why he was still standing outside of Miss Doe’s apartment complex. It was obvious she felt uncomfortable inside his car but during the drive, she relaxed. Her eyes were heavy and closed from time to time, but she always startled awake, trying to conceal her obvious exhaustion from him. This girl and her damn sense of pride. It felt like a cold fist around his heart, seeing her so tired. Her worry for him was something Kylo did not expect. Miss Doe was a mystery in every way. She wanted to appear tough, of course she was. She was durable like a desert tree but there was something utterly breakable about her, too. She fought Stanley like a lioness and only seconds later she walked with her head held high. She told him she would get home safely, that she didn’t need his help. Kylo noticed a dim light turn on behind dark curtains on the second floor and for a tiny second, he swore he saw the curtains move. Ah, so that was her apartment. Second floor. Close enough to the ground that she could flee but far up above the ground to be safe from everything that crawled on the floor that bit and stung her. It was typically her. No, fuck no, what the hell was he thinking? He didn’t know her, he shouldn’t even be interested in her! This was wrong. This entire situation was fucked up and he should get the hell away from that building and forget about Miss Doe entirely. He broke a fuck-ton of rules tonight. He had touched a student, a _female_ student, more than necessary and he took her home. With an exaggerated sigh, he lit up a cigarette and blew the smoke out the window. He wasn’t one for smoking regularly, but in situations like these Kylo chose from a variety of options. It was either sex, alcohol or a cigarette. The promise of sex had walked out on him an hour ago, alcohol was nowhere in sight, so the only option left to calm his still burning anger, was a cigarette. With a curse under his breath, he steered his car into the night. Far, far away from Miss Doe and her hazel eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, you are the best people ever. The sheer resonance to this story blows my mind! I am so happy that you like my story and I try to evolve with every chapter. And holla, how hot is protective Professor Ren? I am a little worried that this might be a bit early, but I think I’m happy with how this chapter came out. I needed a base for further interaction between Rey and Kylo and that’s not as easy as one might think.^^  
> So, you all surely know the drill, leave me a kudo, subscribe and above all, leave me a comment and tell me what you think. This is extremely important for me, because I’m still a little unsure about this chapter.  
> Oh, before I forget it, I’m now on Tumblr. you can follow me if you want https://callmealessandra.tumblr.com/  
> Love you all! <3


	4. Monday Blues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Rey and Kylo suffer under a serious case of the Monday Blues.

_Basic Need_  
Chapter 4   
Monday Blues

Monday morning came and Rey was _not_ prepared. Be it physically or mentally. Sunday came and went in a blur for Rey and only late noon had she managed to crawl out of bed, driven by the extreme need to shower and her growling stomach. She had looked at the notes for Professor Ren’s class and for a second she debated with herself, if she should work on them or not. Considering her still aching arms, her protesting stomach and headache, she opted for… _absolutely not_. The few hours of restless sleep she got after the incident with Stanley and Professor Ren were by far not enough for her exhausted body and mind to replenish. All named above led to her plight on Monday morning. Rey overslept her alarm clock, despite being the light sleeper that she usually was. Thirty minutes past her usual time, she was now with one leg in her jeans and tried to pull the bralette over her head at the same time, while simultaneously brushing her teeth with the other one. She had a little less than thirty minutes before her first class. Her first class with Professor Ren. If that alone wasn’t bad enough, it was his famous punishment for late students to lock them out of the auditorium. Something, she really could go without. Armed with only her bag, Rey bolted out of her door and down the staircase. The missing time she usually had in the morning to prepare some oatmeal and eggs for her upcoming day, forced her to leave the apartment without a scrape of food. Not like she wasn’t used to it, but her brain and body definitely worked better with some fuel. Rey ran down the wet street, the bus stop was just down by the corner of the street. Just as she turned into the street, she saw the bus stopping at the halt. The driver had noticed her and waited for her with open doors. Out of breath and a little shaky, she thanked him while she walked down the middle.

Brown poodles of dirty water mixed with salt and sand from the streets gathered on the floor of the bus. The bus started with a jolt, throwing Rey off balance with the sudden movement. She saved herself from falling by grabbing one of the handles next to her but her battered bag didn’t. The strap, which had started to tear in the middle weeks ago, snapped and her bag fell with a heavy thud into one of the biggest puddles. Her notepads, pencils and books spilled over the entire floor, together with her laptop.

“Ah, shit!”

Falling to her knees, she quickly grabbed her laptop first to save it from any grave damage by the dirty water. Her notepads weren’t so lucky. The pages soaked through almost immediately, the fabric of her pencil case too. _Great_ , she thought, _another twenty bucks for new notepads_. Rey cursed under her breath, when she clumsily reached for a few pens and she got the dirty water all over her battered knuckles. The burning came immediately. A woman sitting next to her took pity on Rey and stood up to help her gather the rest of Rey’s things.

According to Murphy’s law, everything that can go wrong will go wrong. Only ten minutes into the bus ride, they were forced to stop. A car accident between Nebule and Jackson Street lead to a full closure of both streets, forcing the bus driver to take detour. They arrived twenty minutes later than they should have at UHC. Meaning, Rey had five minutes left to cross campus and get into the auditorium before Professor Ren. While running across the campus, past the fountain, she had to watch her steps on the wet ground. She crossed the double-doors and slid around the corners, holding onto the wall so she wouldn’t fall. Her stomach dropped. Marching down the corridor, she saw Professor Ren making his way to the auditorium already. His broad shoulders rolled with every step, his longs legs carried him in a straight line to the doorway. There was no way she would make it before him. Rey only had a split-second to act. She gathered all her courage.

“Professor!”

He froze in the middle of his step, his shoulders tensing and his entire frame going stiff. He whirled around, looking like he was ready to rip the person’s head of, who had the audacity to stop him. He cocked his head to the side, taking in her appearance with an unreadable expression on his face. His eyes lingered on her knees, the fabric of her jeans was darker since it was wet, her dirty hands holding onto her ripped bag.

Rey came to a screeching halt in front of him. Breathless tried to explain why she wasn’t already inside the auditorium. “I’m sorry, Professor, there was a full closure on Nebule Street and the bus had to take a detour-,”

He held up a hand, stopping the waterfall of explanations. “You’re on time.”

He motioned towards her dirty hands. “What happened?”

“Oh, this-, nothing. The strap just ripped.” Rey held up her ripped bag, showing it to him.

He shook his head and pointed to the restrooms down by the end of the hallway.

“Wash your hands and get the salt off. It must sting.”

It did. She nodded, feeling a little awkward beneath his scrutinizing gaze.

“Professor, you won’t- um, you won’t lock the door, right?”

The corner of his mouth twitched slightly and his eyes softened a little, while he shook his head.

“No, I won’t. Off you go, Miss Doe. Before I change my mind.”

There was the slightest tenderness in his voice. For a moment, Rey felt mesmerized by him and nobody moved. It was their little moment of peace before they had to reprise their roles as student and teacher. She gave him a small, but genuine smile before quickly running to the restrooms. She felt his gaze burning in her neck. Rey washed her hands and batted her face with her wet hands. She was about to leave the restrooms. Her hand was already on the door handle but she paused. She looked into the mirror and stared at her reflection. It was the same face that stared back at her for the last twenty-one years. The same tanned skin, the same hazel-green eyes and fine nose with the smallest hint of freckles dusted across her cheekbones, forehead and nose. The same dark hair bound into her usual bun, keeping the dark coffee-colored strands out of her face. She wished for the dark circles under her eyes to vanish and her lashes to be longer. Looking into the mirror now, she saw her flaws and doubts like someone marked all the spots she felt insecure about in a bright red color. Rey wasn’t a vain person, growing up she never had the luxury to think about her looks or her body. She saw a young woman with non-existent curves to entice and to seduce a man, she saw lips that weren’t full and didn’t promise wicked acts and whispers. Who would ever want someone like her?

Shaking her head, Rey tore herself away from these absurd thoughts. Why was she doubting herself so much and why was she all of the sudden so insecure about her body? Was it because she finally wanted someone to notice her as a woman, because she longed for dark eyes to linger on her longer? With a sharp gasp, Rey fled the bathroom and tried to escape the doubts.

Professor Ren was a few minutes into his lecture, when Rey entered the auditorium. The hall went _dead silent_. All eyes were on her, some disbelieving, some smug and others curious for what was about to happen. Miss Gill, as always seated in the front row, leaned back into her seat and crossed her arms above her chest. She was obviously waiting for the show to begin with a victorious smile on her lips, for Professor Ren to start yelling at her and throw her out of the auditorium.

Professor Ren turned around, facing her with his typical unreadable gaze. “Miss Doe, please take a seat.”

An audible murmur went through the auditorium and Miss Gill’s jaw hit the table in utter disbelief. Rey, not wanting to be the main point of attention longer than necessary, climbed up the stairs and slid into her seat. Rey quickly set up her laptop, when she realized she had no paper to write down her notes. She leaned over and asked the student next to her for a few sheets of paper. The lecture went on without any further interruptions and when they were done, Professor Ren dismissed his students with two papers he expected on his desk by the end of next week. While Rey packed her things, making sure that her new notes did not get soiled by the ruined notepads in her bag, she heard two students behind her whispering.

“I was kicked out, because I arrived only a minute after him! Now _she_ gets to stay?”

“I bet my right hand that she’s sleeping with him…”

Rey chose to ignore them and made her way down the stairway, past Miss Gill who gave her a look of pure and utter resentment. She kept her head down and was well on her way to the door, when Professor Ren’s voice stopped her from fleeing.

“Miss Doe.” Like a hawk, he came up behind her, his tall figure throwing a shadow over her. “My office, please.”

 

Professor Ren closed the door behind her, while Rey stepped into his grand office. Everything was in the same place as before, except a staple of books on the floor next to his desk. What did she expect? It was just a few days ago that she sat in the leather chair in front of his desk. Maybe a photo of a woman on his desk or a ring on his finger?

“Miss Doe, please take a seat.”

He motioned for the chair, while he took his seat behind his desk. Professor Ren observed her for a long, silent moment. When he folded his hands beneath his chin, Rey noticed the knuckles of his right hand. They were bruised and angrily swollen, a cut in his skin was visible. He followed her gaze and flexed his large fingers, as if it was almost uncomfortable for him that she could see the violence he was capable of.

His dark eyes lingered on her, watching every slight change in her expression. “I wanted to make sure you’re okay. We have a counselor here, just in case you don’t want to talk about it with me-,”

“Not necessary, Professor.”

His dark brows shot up in surprise. “Miss Doe?”

“Thank you for everything, Professor.” The words came suddenly and Rey couldn’t stop herself in time. “I just want to forget that it ever happened.”

“Miss Doe-“

Rey let out a long, tired sigh. “Please, just call me Rey.”

He cleared his throat and gave her a curt nod of understanding. “I am responsible for your safety, there is nothing to thank me for. I just wanted to make sure that you’re alright.”

“I am.” Came her prompt reply.

Professor Solo leaned back into his chair, there was something disapproving in the way he took a deep breath, almost as if he had to stifle a deep sigh of annoyance. Because of her? Surely.

“Rey, I don’t like being lied to.” His deep voice was scolding. “Answer me. Honestly.”

And just like that, with his command for her honesty, Rey couldn’t keep her walls up any longer.

“I’m just so _tired_.”

Her voice broke, while her hands found the spots on her upper arms where Stanley had grabbed her. She hated to admit that Stanley left her so vulnerable and hurt, Rey hated him for making her look so defenseless. Admitting her weakness to a man like Professor Ren was hard and every fiber in her body protested.

“Go on.”

Rey squirmed beneath his dark gaze, trying to stay in her chair while she was fighting against her flight instinct. She felt trapped.

“Please, Professor-,”

“ _Go on_.” His words were almost a growl, his shoulders tensed.

“I couldn’t stand up yesterday.” She finally admitted, with her eyes. “I couldn’t sleep, every time I tried to, I would- I was back in the alley. With _him_.”

The silence that followed was heavy. Professor Ren looked like he was ready to commit murder, his bruised knuckles were white. A muscle in his jaw twitched. Rey feared for his interior. Her Professor looked like he was ready to tear everything to pieces that crossed his path.

Professor Ren shook his head vigorously. “He will never get close to you again. _Ever_. If he does, I want you to come straight to me, do you understand me?”

Who was she to disobey, especially since he genuinely looked like he was about to have a stroke if she didn’t promise?

“Yes, Professor.”

His broad shoulder relaxed a little, but he still looked livid. Rey noticed a drop of blood ran down the back of his hand. The cut on his knuckles had re-opened.

“Professor, your hand-,” Rey couldn’t stop staring at the blood. “I’m really sorry.”

He looked down, genuinely surprised when he saw the blood. It was almost like he hadn’t noticed the pain or the blood until she had pointed him to it.

“This is not your fault.” He opened the top-drawer on his desk and pulled out a box of handkerchiefs. While he pressed the tissue over his bleeding knuckle, he continued speaking. “There is something else I wanted to talk with you about.”

_He did?_ “You do?”

He nodded curtly. “It is about Miss Gill and the incident last Friday.”

_Ah_. “Right, about that-,”

“I want you to tell me, if she causes any problems.”

He said, cutting her off abruptly. He was one to talk, he had called her a charity not so long ago. 

“Professor, I’m really thankful for your help with Stanley, I appreciate it very much. But what Johanna said to me wasn’t the first time I heard something like that and I bet it won’t be the last time.”

He gave her a hard look. “What?”

Rey rolled her eyes, despite the mindful amount of fear mixed with respect she had for Professor Ren, her temper got the best of her. _Once again_.

“Professor, I’ve been accused of sleeping with all of my professors. Students from every class were utterly convinced I pay money for my papers. After all, I’m just a _charity case_.” She spat out the word like it was a disease. Humiliation. Anger. _Pain_. All of these emotions broke to the surface. “It was you, who reminded me I’m nothing more, right?”

_That’s right_ , she thought bitter, _time to get back to reality_. The reality in which she didn’t matter and she was nothing more but a simple girl that came from nowhere. Where she was just a charity case for every single person on campus. She didn’t matter to anyone. Especially not to the enigmatic man in front of her. Rey grabbed her bag and stood up.

“I’ll see you on Wednesday, Professor Ren.”

Rey fled his office before Professor Ren could see the tears, she couldn’t hold back any longer. She heard him call after her, but she didn’t stop. Rey ran down the hallway and kept her head down, made a sharp turn to the left and ran into the restrooms. She slammed the door shut behind her and then, Rey allowed her tears to run. She cried until she didn’t have any tears left and only dry sobs escaped her chest.

 

Armitage Hux wasn’t a good man. First and foremost, he only cared about the paycheck his clients gave to him. If that paycheck meant to cover-up murder, corruption or other dubious deeds, he was fine with it. He was a fantastic lawyer, cunning, calculating and ruthless. Exactly what his clients were looking for in an attorney. While he sat in his office, preparing the upcoming court hearing for one of his many clients, the silence of his office was disrupted by his doors flying open. A hulking shadow of darkness stormed inside and behind it, while his secretary tried to explain that ‘ _Mr. Hux doesn’t wish to be disturbed under any circumstances_ ’. Armitage put his glasses down, after all, he wasn’t twenty anymore and looked up at the cause of interruption. Kylo Ren, in all rights a born prince with crown and title, stood in the middle his office. His broad chest heaving with how hard he was breathing.

“Ren, to what do I owe the pleasure of you storming into my office unannounced?”

 “Stanley Peterson.” Was all Ren said and started walking up and down his office.

Hux leaned back into his chair and watched Ren pace with an amused arch of his brow. “Yes, what about him?”

“He almost raped my student on Saturday.” Came the sharp reply.

Armitage sighed and closed the file on his desk, after all he was sworn to secrecy. Stanley Peterson had a reputation of being a little _too_ intrusive with young women and every single report that was filed against him magically vanished into thin air. Keeping it simple, Stanley was a piece of shit that got away with raping young women and no one would stop him, since his parents were way too high in the food chain of Hanna’s society.

“Let me guess, she came crying into your office for a shoulder to lean on and now she filed a report for sexual harassment against you?”

 Ren growled in a silent warning. “ _Hux_.”

Hux was startled for a split second, but he quickly covered it up. This was obviously very important to Ren. Hux had never seen him this angry before and Ren was a very volatile character.

He lifted his hands in a sign of surrender. “Alright, jokes aside, Ren. I’m sorry for that girl, but you know just as well as I do, that Stanley’s parents will do the magic trick and the report will disappear.”

Ren took a deep breath and stopped his pacing. “This time it’s different.”

“How so?”

“I was there.” Ren said, his voice still shaking with suppressed anger. “I pulled him off of her.”

Ren held up his right hand and Armitage inspected the bruised and swollen knuckles. Looking at the hand, he didn’t want to know what Stanley’s face looked like now. Hux himself had taken a few pro bono cases against Stanley himself, yet most of the reports vanished into thin air or were dropped by the victims. A witness was a game-changer, that was for sure.

“So, will she testify against him and you want me to do another pro bono, which will probably peter out like all the other times?”

Ren shook his head. “She’s an easy target for Stanley and his family. I want you to make sure he keeps his distance from her.”

Hux pinched the bridge of his nose. “So, what is it you want me to do, your majesty?”

“Fuck off, Hux.” Ren cursed under his breath. “A provisional order won’t stop Stanley, if he really wants to get to her. I want you to deliver a message, Hux.”

“Oh, so I’m just a harbinger of death, hm?”

“We will file a report if that is what _she_ wants. It’s her decision and until then, I want Stanley to understand one thing.” He balled his hands into tight fists and Armitage noticed for the first time, that Ren was actually _shaking_. He was shaking with barely controlled and boiling anger. “He will stay the hell away from her and if I ever hear a word from her, that he got close to her, he will _pay_.”

With a long, exaggerated breath, Hux reached for his telephone. “This message, any special wishes?”

“Make it _hurt_.”

That was all Ren said before he stormed out of the office. Armitage stood up and walked across his office, to the strong room and retrieved Stanley Peterson’s file. A total number of twelve dropped charges within 3 years. Twelve young women, not one of them older than twenty-one. Twelve lives ruined, twelve women used and abused. Deep down within his cold chest, he felt sympathy towards these girls with his cold heart. Hux hated Stanley Peterson as much as any other lawyer in town, but for him the kid was a red flag. It was the only case he ever lost in twelve years of active service. He would love nothing more than to bring that bastard down. His thoughts went back to Ren and why this was so important to him? Just because of a student? Armitage knew Ren since he started teaching at UHC and never had he seen him this angry before. Ren wasn’t passionate about his students, he never even talked about them if Armitage remembered it correctly.  A notification popped up in the corner of his desktop and told him that he just received a transaction of twenty-five thousand dollar.  _Ah_ , he thought, _one of_ those _messages_. Hux sighed, grabbed his phone and dialed a number on the secure line of his office. _Make it hurt,_ Ren said? _Well, no problem at all._

 

Kylo could barely concentrate on the traffic. His exceptional bad mood had gotten progressively worse over the course of his day. It hit rock-bottom, when Miss Doe fled his office after giving him a good piece of her mind. Letting he go and not running after her was the hardest thing that Kylo ever did and to ignore the urge to pull her back into his office. He didn’t know what the hell was going on with him. Rey Doe was his student and the sheer need to protect that damn girl with her doe eyes, was driving him crazy. Never before in his life had he ever reacted to a woman like he did with Miss Doe. Protective. _Possessive_. The rage that overcame Kylo and that made his blood boil when he saw Stanley putting his hands on her, was unexpected and threw him completely off the track. The few short attempts at a relationship went horribly wrong, either because of his temper or his incapability to feel something deeper for his partner. Miss Doe- _Rey_ , was a student, _his_ student, for at least a year and just barely legal, while he was over ten years fifteen years older than her. Kylo shouldn’t even think about her, let alone march into his lawyer’s office for her. He was still furious, so furious that he didn’t even noticed the pain in his right hand anymore. His busted knuckle split open several times and he didn’t feel it. All Kylo felt… was burning anger. Anger that was slowly but surely consuming him from the inside out. The ride to his home, down the city highway into the suburban parts of Hanna, was not nearly as relaxing as Kylo hoped it would be. Usually, driving would relax him but today, it did the opposite. He wanted to stomp his foot down on the gas and push his car to the limits. The silent music playing wasn’t helping either, he wanted to smash his radio to dust at the moment. With a raw cry of fury, he turned down the volume with a harsh move of his hand. Kylo realized that anger was so much easier, directed at others and not at himself. He could scream at them, hurt them with his words and blow some steam off by doing so. Of course, he still had the possibility to stand in front of his bathroom mirror and scream at himself, but even he had limits when it came to his manly pride. He could destroy the expensive décor and interior inside his home, but would that help? Would it really take away the anger crawling beneath his skin? Here he was, a grown man almost twice her age and he was angry at himself, for treating her like every other student? He had stormed into Hux’s office like a man possessed and spent _twenty-five thousand_ _dollars_ without batting an eyelash to keep Stanley away from her. If the dean found out about this… this was a dangerous situation, for each of them. A slip from Miss Doe and her scholarship would be on the line. One wrong move by him and he could lose his position as professor, granted, something he had never worked for intentionally. Kylo had been granted the best education of the world, teachers, private tutors and books were practically thrown after him, while she fought with tooth and nails for a better education. After all, the drive home went by faster than he had expected and soon, he rolled up the driveway of his town mansion. Entering his home, he didn’t even bother to take off his shoes or coat. The red soles of his Louboutin shoes made loud noises while they met the Italian marble of his floor on the way to his office. He shouldn’t care, for heaven’s sake, he shouldn’t get involved with her at all.

Throwing his coat over the back of his chair, he sat down behind his desk. He had a staple of essays waiting for a grade on his desk and yet, he just couldn’t think about work.

“Fuck!”

He cursed under his breath and leaned back into his chair, frustrated and restless. He felt like the damn tiger in a cage. Kylo glared at his desktop angrily, he knew only one way to satisfy the urge that was deep inside of him. The urge to know more about her. Every professor of UHC had access to the student data bank, it was nothing more of an electronic register of students. The data base contained a short résumé about each student, their previous schools and outstanding achievements. Five years of teaching at UHC and not once had he used the data base. He never cared enough about his students to be interested in their lives. Here he was, practically itching from head to toe to look at Miss Doe’s history just to quench the thirst for information about her. For a minute his fingers hovered above the keyboard, before he typed. Two words. Six letters. A mistake with atomic impact. There she was, Rey Doe.

 

A photo of her was attached, she was smiling shyly at the camera. He guessed the photo had been taken during her teenage years. Her hair was shorter and the freckles dusted across her nose and cheekbones were much more prominent. There were several other things standing out to him. Her cheekbones were not as prominent and her cheeks weren’t as hollow as they were now. Even though she was a skinny kid back then, she still lost an alarming amount of weight. Kylo was sure that she was on the verge of underweight. It took some time for him to finally look away from her picture and concentrate on her bio. He narrowed his eyes, reading the first line. _Born in Jakku_. Jakku was a godforsaken desert characterized by poverty. A girl like her growing up in a place like Jakku? A girl with no parents… orphaned and helpless. It was heartbreaking. He could see a small girl crying bitterly, while she wanted to be strong and imagined another life for herself. Did she dream of an ocean, looking at the endless dunes of sand? For Kylo, some of the puzzle pieces fell into place. Her spirit and will to fight, that fire that always seemed to smolder beneath the surface despite her visible fragility. He had witnessed her fire firsthand this morning. She was proud and stubborn, she wanted to be strong and capable to take care of herself. Kylo understood so much at this moment. The way she behaved after Stanley’s attack and the anger when he talked about the incident. Weakness meant doom where she came from and so Miss Doe reacted the only way she knew – she attacked and retreated. She felt vulnerable and showed him her claws.

He studied the few other entries about her, the first articles in middle school and her following achievements that got her where she was now. Kylo found no information about potential foster-parents, which led him to the conclusion that she stayed in the system until she came of age. She graduated from high school as top of the class, but that was no surprise to him anymore. He had figured that Rey Doe was an intelligent girl as soon as he corrected her first paper. Her grades were outstanding, even Kylo had to admit that. And that was it, nothing more. If Kylo thought this would somewhat satisfy the need to know something, _everything_ , about her... he was never more wrong in his life. With a frustrated sigh, he leaned back into his chair and stared at his desktop. The constant worry he felt for Rey ever since they parted ways on Saturday, was confusing him. The knowledge that she was living alone, especially in a place like the Arcades, set him on edge. It drove him fucking crazy, to be honest. Once again, Kylo questioned his sanity, because he was sure he lost most of it.

 

Rey walked home with an excruciating headache after her lectures were _finally_ over. Her eyes were still a little swollen from crying and her stomach hurt from its aching emptiness. After the harsh confrontation with reality, she hadn’t seen Professor Ren for the rest of the day and she was grateful for it. The gentle pitter-patter had turned into a downright pour by the time Rey reached her apartment complex. Her shift at the ‘ _Big Easy’_ would start in an hour, that meant she could eat a little something before she had to leave again. Unlocking the front door, she was greeted by the metal music blaring from the inside of apartment 01. Rey didn’t even find the energy to get irritated by it today. She dragged her body up to her apartment, her keys in hand ready to unlock her apartment door, when she froze. The lock on her door was damaged, there were deep scratched in the wood all around the plate with the keyhole and her door was slightly ajar.

Her heart began to pound within her chest. Dread and fear filled her from head to toe and her hands began to shake. With trembling hands, she pushed her door a little and listened into the room of her apartment for any noise. It was quiet, there was no noise coming from inside her apartment. Stepping into her apartment, Rey was met with pure and utter chaos.

Her floor was covered in paper, pages were ripped from her books and notepads. The bookshelf standing in her living room was knocked over and wooden splinters lay all around it. Her TV lay screen down on the floor and her couch was slashed open. Long gashes drew deep lines through the fabric. The white stuffing foam was all over the floor and on the couch. The foldable table in her tiny kitchen was broken into two pieces and carelessly tossed away. The small makeshift cupboard over the stove was ripped from the wall, the few plates, bowls and cups she had were now shards on the floor. Rey’s fingers went numb and her bag hit the floor with a dull thump. She took in the ruins of what was once her apartment. Her bedroom was the worst. Her bed was tossed over, her mattress was cut open just like her couch. The small chest was destroyed, every single drawer ripped from it and her clothes were scattered across the floor. Her bathroom was mainly untouched. Just her towels were tossed to the floor and the small cabin next to the mirror was open. The box of tampons, cotton pads and her cheap day cream were carelessly thrown into the basin. A stranger went through her personal things, rummaged through her clothes and touched her belongings.

Oh God… Bile rose up in her throat.

She rushed into her bathroom and fell to the floor in front of the toilette. It took Rey a few moments to stand up again, her knees were weak and her legs shaking. She couldn’t go to work, not with her apartment being torn apart and her things broken. She had to call Poe, she needed to call the police and file a complaint for burglary.

Rey quickly dialed Poe’s number, hoping that he would pick up. It took a few tries but after calling him the sixth time, he finally took the call.

“ _Rey, what’s going on?”_

Worry threaded through his voice, while she heard him close a door in the background. She could barely keep the tears at bay while she explained to him, that she just came home and someone had broken into her apartment.

 “ _Rey, give me your address, I’ll be there in ten.”_  
  


Just like Poe promised, he was there in ten. Unlike the police. After Poe had arrived at her apartment and assessed the damage himself, he had taken it upon himself to call the police. He left no room for her to argue, when he grabbed her by the shoulders and sat her down on her couch. He was probably worried if he stood on her feet any longer, she would faint. While Poe looked through her apartment for things he could save and examined her destroyed lock, they waited for the police to arrive. An hour later, Poe stood next to Rey, a comforting hand on her shoulder while they watched the officers doing their jobs. While a female officer filled the protocol together with Rey, asking her all kind of questions, the other officer took photos of her apartment, before saving fingerprints from her door. The whole procedure took over three hours and after the police left, it was already early evening. Rey had slipped into a delirious state of shock, simply staring into the nothing, trembling like a leaf in the wind.

“Rey,” Poe knelt in front of her and took her hands in his. He flinched when he felt how cold her skin was. “Hey, everything’s going to be okay again, alright?”

He looked around the room, before he shrugged off his jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders.

“The officers said we can touch everything now.” Poe looked around the chaos. “I’ll see what I can save, is that okay for you?”

Rey gave him a weak smile, nodding her head in permission of his request. “Sure, but I don’t think there’s much left to safe.”

Her books were shredded to the point of no return, just like her notepads. Her dishes didn’t survive either, all that was left of them was a pile of shards on her kitchen floor, the only thing she could use the table for was firewood. To their big surprise, Rey’s television had survived the fall from the table it was standing on.

Coming out of her bedroom, he held up a splintered drawer. “I think I could fix these.”

Rey, who finally managed to get out of her catatonic state had started to gather the paper from the floor. She looked up in surprise.

“You can? I didn’t know you were a craftsman.”

He shrugged as if it wasn’t a big deal and the discovery of his secret talent was a little awkward for him.

“I didn’t really have money left after I bought the _Big Easy_. The bank didn’t grant me another credit for interior and I really needed to renovate the whole thing. It was more of a learning by doing thing, than talent.”

Poe piled the destroyed drawers in the corner next to her bathroom, the two table pieces followed soon after.

“I can take a look at your lock too, but I can’t promise you I’ll be able to fix it. I’m not a locksmith.”

Rey’s stomach turned just thinking about all the repairs, where in the world would she take the money from? But she covered it up quickly, not wanting Poe to become too involved.

“I’m sorry about your books.” Poe said, now standing beside her looking at the ripped textbooks for her classes. “Those are expensive, right?”

Yes, they were. The most expensive one costed over a hundred bucks and every single penny Rey had saved went into the books and her apartment, when she moved to Hanna. To be honest, the books weren’t the top priority on her mind at the moment. It was the destroyed lock on her door and the fact, that she would sleep with an open door tonight. Vulnerable and defenseless in her sleep. Poe caught her looking at her broken door and sighed.

“You can’t sleep here tonight.”

He rubbed the top of his head, tousling the already unruly curls of his black hair more.

“Do you have somewhere to stay as long as it takes to get the lock fixed?”

Rey went through her options which were… nonexistent, to be honest. Finn and Rose didn’t have a guest bedroom and she couldn’t afford a motel room for several days. She didn’t even have the money for a new lock to begin with, but that was something she would worry about later. One thing Rey knew for certain was that she wouldn’t stay in her apartment if she couldn’t lock the door. Especially not in a complex like the Arcades. Lying to Poe was no option either, so she opted for the truth, even if it meant admitting that she indeed needed help, desperately.

“No, I don’t.”

Poe gave her a small pad on the back. “All I needed to hear. Come on, pack your things. You’ll be staying with me until your lock is fixed.”

The drive to Poe’s house was quiet. His little coupé, which was usually meant for him and BB, was comfortable and homey. There were little chains of colorful pearls dangling from the mirror and a little charm stating, that Poe was ‘ _World’s best driver’_. Empty coke bottles covered the floor of the passenger’s seat and an old Rolling Stones song was playing on the radio. It was so different from the clinical interior of Professor Ren’s car. The silence felt awkward for Rey, she felt obligated to say something, _anything_.

“Poe, thank you, really. I know you’re busy yourself and here I am, wasting your entire day.”

Poe gave her a disapproving look over his shoulder. “Rey, stop. You didn’t waste my day. You needed help, you act like it’s the most unnatural thing in the world.”

For her it was, but she wouldn’t tell him that. Rey, the lone survivor and lone wolf to the bone, never received help, regardless of how much she had begged for it as a kid or a teenager.

_Your safety is my responsibility_ , that was what Professor Ren had told her, while he got her into his car. He had saved Rey from Stanley, because she was his responsibility and not because she mattered to him for the person she was. Rey wanted to slap herself in the face so badly, here she was with a man who wanted to help her because she mattered to him as a person and all Rey could do, was think about Professor Ren? Like the knight in shining armor, Poe had jumped to her rescue and didn’t even hesitate and offered her a place to stay.

Rey was relieved when the ride was over and Poe parked his car in front of his little house on the outskirts of town. It was surrounded by green and when Rey got out of the car, she looked up at the sky. It was crispy clear and billions of stars twinkled in the black sky. Poe’s home was a cozy little bungalow with a terrace leading all around the house. The roof was long, so it functioned as canopy for the terrace. The Christmas lights were still wrapped around the wood of the terrace. Poe walked around the car and took the bag from Rey’s hand, shouldering it himself, while he walked to the front door. BB was already waiting behind the door, barking happily as soon as he heard the key inside the lock. When the door swung open, Rey was greeted by heavenly warmth inside and an Australian shepherd who was all barks, wagging tail and slobber flying around. After a few rounds of ear massages and belly rubs, BB finally allowed the two of them to pass, following them on the foot into the kitchen that was straight ahead. Poe’s house was cozy, his interior modest and down to earth, just like the man that lived within it. The kitchen was long and ended in the adjoining living room, with a small fireplace and two comfortable looking couches and a TV. Rey spotted a brown basket for BB standing next to one of the couches. She could see a small hallway with three doors next to each other. Poe, armored with her bag still on his shoulder, walked to the middle door and opened it.

 “So, this is the guest bedroom.”

Poe turned on the light and the room was flooded by gentle yellow. It was a simple room with crème colored walls, a bed, nightstand and a small table beneath the window.

“I’ll get you clean sheets and another blanket. It’s way too cold in here for you.”

He sat her bag down onto the bed and walked to the heating, turning it on. Poe motioned to the door to the right.

“The bathroom is in there, the key is inside.”

Rey didn’t really know what to reply, Poe’s selflessness and kindness he showed her without wanting a reward in return made her speechless. The headache thrumming inside her head didn’t help either. Poe, obviously noticing her loss of words for the time being, put his hand on her shoulder. His eyes lingered on her lips for the tiniest amount, before he pointed to the bath.

“Hey,” he said with warmth in his voice, “You had a rough day. Why don’t you just hop into the shower or take a bath and I’ll cook something nice, hm?”

Rey gave him a warm smile in return, nodding her head tiredly. “Sounds great.”

“Great, take your time and I’ll prepare everything.”

Poe vanished into the kitchen and she heard pots and plates clatter, while Rey rummaged through her bag to get everything she needed.

 

About thirty minutes later, Rey emerged from the bathroom, a towel wrapped around her head and dressed in fresh clothes. Poe had turned on the radio that sat on top of the countertop and slightly swayed to the song. He was busy pouring cream into a pot, together with parmesan cheese and some herbs. When he noticed her standing in the doorway, he looked up and winked at her. He gave her a lopsided grin and waved her over to where he was standing.

“There you are.”

Rey leaned over the pots and inhaled deeply. “Poe, that smells amazing.”

“My world-famous cream and cheese pot noodles.”

Well, if that wasn’t a treat. Poe’s cooked and baked everything for the café himself, to say he was a master in his field was an understatement. Rey who lived off eggs, rice and frozen vegetables, the chance of getting her hands on a real meal was like heaven.

“I love it. Can I help?”

Rey had no idea what she was doing, considering her one-sided diet, followed Poe’s directions, while he stirred the sauce for the noodles. To Rey’s great surprise, she felt way more comfortable with him than she thought she would. Being close to Poe was always easy and uncomplicated. He was a simple man, honest, funny and charming. He was humming along the song playing on the radio, laughed and made goofy faces while. Cooking was such so simple and the most normal thing, yet Rey couldn’t imagine her professor doing it. As hard as it was for her to imagine Professor Ren do something as simple and mundane as cooking, she just couldn’t picture him in the kitchen. If he did, would he hum along songs or listened to a TV show while doing so? No, he surely wouldn’t. _Stop_. Poe clapped his hands, setting a timer.

“So, that’s it. Twenty minutes to heaven.”

While they waited for the timer to signal that the noodles were thoroughly cooked, Rey set the table and Poe was busy cutting some bread. BB, who was waiting for his second course that night, sat straight in his basket with slobber dripping from his chaps.

“Okay, this looks good.” Poe said, satisfied with the table and walked over to his fridge. “I don’t know what you want to drink. I have only beer, wine and coke. Oh, tab water included.”

Wine with her head? No, thank you. Tab water, not exactly thrilling since she only drank that at home. Maybe sugar would help a little to ease the remnants of her headache.

“Coke is fine, thanks.”

Poe pulled the bottle out and filled their two glasses, while Rey sat down on the comfortable chair facing Poe’s. How odd, she thought, she was sitting at a table with a wonderful meal about to be served. Her eyes scanned the table, the fresh bread, the garlic and herb butter Poe had somehow conjured from the insides of his seemingly never ending fridge. This was how millions of families spend their evening, _together_. When she was a child, Rey had drawn pictures with the only pencil she had for school of herself and her imaginary family, sitting at a table like this. When the hunger would get too big and her belly started aching from it, she imagined the most delicious meals to make it hurt less.

“Rey- Rey!”

Rey’s head snapped up and she looked at Poe, who was standing with the pot in front of her, holding it up.

“Huh?” She even overheard the timer going off?

“Are you okay? You’ve been staring into the nothing for almost five minutes.”

Hastily she assured Poe that she was okay and that she was only reminiscing about the day and that her headache was pretty much killing her. After he gave her another worried look, he scooped a gracious portion of pasta onto her plate. Rey wasn’t sure if she was able to eat all of it, but she would try and if she didn’t manage, she knew Poe would happily agree on eating the rest. Rey always savored food. It was ridiculous now, she knew that, but growing up without it certainly taught her a lesson. She took her time to savor the flavor, to remember the taste and save it into her memory for days when she had to go without.

“Rey, you eat like my grandma and she would be a hundred and ten by now.” Poe said with a laugh under his breath.

Poe, who was already on his second plate of noodles was looking at her own, which was not even finished halfway. Poe didn’t know about her background, but had made certain comments about her weight, how unhealthy it was to be as thin as she was. Finn had once mentioned that Poe thought Rey had an eating disorder and she never really cared to explain the situation.

“I know, I’m sorry.”

She said apologetic, since he had to wait for her after already finishing his meal.

“Rey, stop being sorry about everything. It’s fine. I think it’s just really funny.”

“You do?”

“Of course!” He said with a big smile on his face. “I think it’s charming. It just shows that you appreciate even the simplest things, such as food.”

Rey wanted to protest. Food wasn’t a _simple_ thing. People took food for granted since it was accessible and cheap nowadays. It was the easiest thing to walk into a store and by an entire meal for two or three dollars. How badly she wanted to remind Poe that not everybody was so lucky.

It took them a while to get finished with dinner, mostly because of Rey but Poe took it with the same ease and patience he always handled things. While she ate in silence, Poe watched her with his bottom lip between his teeth.

“Can I ask you something?”

Rey looked up from her plate and stopped spinning noodles onto her fork.

“Sure, shoot.”

“It’s a bit personal, so you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to. I was just wondering, where are you from? Your accent is British, but you don’t have a green card.”

Rey put her fork down. Of course, Poe knew she didn’t have a green card since she never showed him one and he, as her boss, needed to see it if she had one. Rey didn’t want him to know that she came from a junkyard.

“I was born here. I just grew up around the accent and it stuck.”

Poe, seemingly satisfied with the answer for now, gave Rey a content nod and stood up. With her help, the table was clean in no time and the dirty dishes stored in the dishwasher. After the third time she yawned behind her hand, Poe declared it a night for Rey. He vanished into his bedroom and quickly put clean sheets on her bed.

“So, before you fall asleep standing in my kitchen, hop into bed. I’ll drive you to UHC tomorrow. When’s your first class?”

Rey, was happy to oblige and made her way to the bedroom. “At nine thirty.”

“Great, I might be gone when you get up in the morning, BB didn’t learn to walk himself yet. We’re working on it, though.”

The dry humor Poe proofed to keep during every time of the day, never failed to make Rey smile. It was her first real smile that day.

“I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

Poe smiled and for a split second, his thumb gently caressed her cheek. “Goodnight, Rey.”

 

Kylo parked by the entrance of Miss Doe’s apartment complex. This was on so many levels wrong and stupid and _forbidden_. He had tried to fight against the urge to see her all day long until evening fell, until he simply couldn’t bare it any longer. He had pummeled the red punching bag in his private gym until his knuckles were swollen and the cut on his battered hand reopened. He had called Portia to get his mind ultimately off his student by getting the other woman naked as soon as he would see her. As soon as Portia had opened the door to her apartment, standing there in nothing but red lace underwear and a pearl necklace around her throat, Kylo left. He wanted to drive home, his mind was dead-set on it, but his body protested. He took the turn right down towards the Arcades. That’s how Kylo found himself sitting in his car, debating with himself whether he should get out and ring her doorbell or not. He just needed to see the dim light behind her curtain, Kylo wanted the certainty that she was safe inside her apartment. The apartment behind the curtains on the second floor was dark. Was she asleep already?

_No,_ he warned himself, he did not need more pictures of his student, sleeping peacefully in her bed, in his head. He had enough of those already, ghosting around in his head. He wouldn’t get a single ounce of sleep tonight, while his inner beast was rattling at the bars of his mind. Before Kylo could stop himself, was already out of his car and walked up to the door. Most of the bells were not labeled with names except for a few. He scanned the panel, searching for her name but Kylo was almost sure that she wouldn’t have one. Miss Doe kept most things to herself and he estimated her to be a person to be just as careful with her privacy as she was with everything else. His frustration was just heightened by the fact, that his assumption was correct. There wasn’t a single tag with her name on it. Kylo was tempted to ring any bell, but the last portion of brain that was still working and rational, told him to turn around and _leave_. For goodness sake, he was her fucking professor, it was his job to _teach_ her things, so she could make a life for herself after college.

“What are you doing, Ren? Just turn around and leave.”

He muttered under his breath, raking his hands through his already messy hair. Suddenly, the door in front of him was opened abruptly, successfully tearing his frustrated thoughts back to reality. He was a grown man, but Kylo couldn’t help and feel caught in an inappropriate situation.

A woman with black hair and a shabby pink sports bag over her shoulder walked out. She was obviously just as startled about Kylo standing in front of the door as he was by her opening it so unexpected.

“Hey, woah-,”

Absolutely unashamed, she inspected him from head to toe and then his car. Kylo was more than used to women checking him out, but somehow it irritated him now. Her watery blue eyes looked dull and her lashes were coated by a thick coat of mascara that made them look like fly legs.

“Um, sorry Mister, but I think you’re at the wrong address.”

He gave her an abrasive look. “I’m just here to visit someone. I was about to ring.”

She snorted loudly and pointed at the panel. “The panel is busted. We told the landlord a year ago, but he won’t repair it. Who do you want to visit?”

There goes his plan of ringing a random bell to get in. He sighed. “Doe. Rey Doe.”

Her thin brows shot up in surprise. “Oh, I think I know her. The brit girl, right?”

Except she wasn’t British. “Yes.”

She gave him an apologetic look. “Sorry, gorgeous, but some thugs broke into her apartment this morning. Police came and stuff.”

The words burned into him like acid. Someone had dared to break into her apartment and violated her privacy? _He saw red_.

“ _Where is she?_ ”

He asked trough tightly clenched jaws. A twinge of panic appeared on the woman’s face and she took a step back, looking at his murderous expression.

 “Hey, calm down, dude. It wasn’t me, okay?”

“Where is she?”

He yelled, his voice echoing off the walls around them and she jumped back, her eyes wide with fear. She grabbed her bag like it was a lifeline.

 “Holy shit, I don’t know! The cops came, I saw the cars through my window and she left with some guy, looked like they knew each other.”

She quickly pushed past Kylo and hurried down the street to her small car, which looked like it was about to fall apart. She flipped him the bird before she drove off into the night. Kylo took a few calming breaths, trying to control the rapidly growing fury inside of him, the usual red mist of a dawning blackout edging into his sight. He stepped back from the door and looked up at the dark window.

_Where are you, Rey_?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING - this author’s note may be the longest note you’ve ever read! Proceed at own risk^^  
> Hey, you amazing gorgeous cookies out there, reading this crazy story^^ I just wanted to take this long ass note to say: THANK YOU! I cannot thank you all enough, the response to this fic has seriously blown me away! Each kudo, subscription and review mean the world to me! You guys rock! :)   
> Um, what can I say about this chapter except… dun dun dun…   
> Yes, our favorite weasel made his entrance to the story and will be, as of now, a semi-regular character. 
> 
> And a huge shout-out to my amazing beta-reader Kit73n – you rock, girl!   
> You guys, she corrected all chapters of Basic Need like a boss, despite working full time and even took her time to explain things to me. I don’t know what I would be without you! <3   
> As many of you already know, you can find me on Tumblr. And I plan to do regular, as I would like to call them, “Question-Que’s”. You can ask me any question, it can concern the story or my personal life, whatever you guys want to ask and I will answer. Of course, without spoiling the story for you. Tell me if you’re interested and I’ll think of a day. 
> 
> Well, as always, leave me a review and tell me what you think, subscribe and push the Kudo button. :) 
> 
> See you all next time!


	5. One Solo is not enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo's past knocks on his door and hell breaks lose. Rey is no longer able to close her eyes from the truth.

_Basic Need_  
Chapter 5   
One Solo is not enough  
  


There was nothing Kylo hated more than cheap polyester and being unprepared. Being unprepared ultimately led to being out of control. Since his rebellious teenage years and his first steps into adulthood, he hated the feeling of going into a situation unprepared. Despite his volatile temper back and raging hormones, he had been top of his classes, practically flying through the semesters and his doctoral. As a student, Kylo had prepared himself for every single lecture he sat in with meticulous accuracy. He did the same when it came to his doctoral thesis and after that, his entrance into teaching. Even though Kylo didn’t personally care about his students, he did care about his reputation all the more. It was also the reason why he never wasted a thought on getting involved with a student. Until _her_. Until Miss Doe literally crash landed in his life and turned it upside down. With her fucking hazel-green eyes, her treacherous fragility and the fire that simmered just beneath the surface. Her hair, her lips and those freckles dusted along her high cheekbones, begging for lips to brush across them. Yes, everything about Rey Doe called to him and spoke to his most primal part. Today, Kylo was torn between being relieved or worried about not seeing her today. He had barely gotten any rest last night. He had tossed and turned on his king-size mattress, since his thoughts constantly wandered to her. Would she be alright today? Would she run to his office, only to find it locked? _Don’t go there, just spare yourself the mental torture_ … When sleep finally came and allowed his mind to rest a little, his alarm went off two hours later. Confused and disorientated, he shot up straight in his bed, tangled between his sheets of Egyptian cotton and eiderdown. With swollen eyes, Kylo had glared at the display of his mobile, trying to find the reason why his goddamn alarm went off an hour earlier than usual. The he remembered, the lecture at University of Canto Bight. The lecture in Canto Bight had been scheduled already before the semester break but taking over Meyer’s class had thrown his entire schedule over and most of his external lectures had to be either re-scheduled or canceled. The mix-up in his schedule alone wouldn’t have led to this disaster. No, it was a certain student of his. With a furious cry, Kylo had leapt out of his bed, successfully stubbed his little toe on his mahogany nightstand and cut himself twice, while he shaved. An hour later he was halfway presentable, at least on the outside. Shaved and dressed in Armani, Kylo felt a little more like himself again. He had about an hour left, that gave him enough time to sort everything he needed for the lecture. Kylo’s hectic preparations for his departure were suddenly interrupted, by his doorbell. He froze, then checked his watch. It was half past seven. Mail? No, way too early for it. Who the fuck knocked on his door at half past seven in the morning? Kylo chose to ignore the ringing and the person on the other side of his door. The person chose not to do the same. The doorbell went off again, followed by a loud knock on the door. With an irritated growl, Kylo threw the papers he had been checking down onto the table and crossed his kitchen, down the hallway. Nothing could have prepared him for what was coming. If Kylo thought Rey had impacted his life like a storm, it was nothing compared to the shock that hit him, when he opened his door. Absolutely shocked, Kylo stared at the man standing in front of him.

“Hello, son.”

 

Han Solo had aged. That was the first thing Kylo noticed, when he looked at his father for the first time in almost ten years. His hair had greyed, just like his eyebrows and beard. Han had lost weight, the leather jacket Kylo could remember from his childhood days was loose around his father’s torso. He had distinctive wrinkles around his mouth and eyes. What Kylo noticed too, was the ashy skin color his father now had. He remembered Han with tanned skin and sun spots on his shoulders and face. Kylo was frozen in place, unable to move and to do anything else but _stare_. Han raised his grey brows questioning, his hands buried in the pockets of his leather jacket.

“Are you going to let me in, or do you want me to freeze my ass off out here?”

Han’s voice was casual, but Kylo noticed that his father was shivering in the cold. Wordlessly, he stepped aside and allowed Han to enter his house. Han took his time to examine his home. He let his hands glide over the marble counter of his kitchen, look at the expansive furniture and the modern art hanging on his walls. Han’s eyes wandered around for a while longer, before he came to a stop in the kitchen.

“You have a nice home, son.”

Kylo himself felt like he was about to explode. It was a vibrating feeling crawling beneath his skin. His stomach churned and his throat burned, like he was about to throw up. With barely suppressed anger, he looked at his father.

“What are you doing here?”

Han sighed deeply, as if he was too tired to even justify himself. He had dark bags beneath his blue eyes, like he hadn’t slept in days.

“I’m here to finally bring you home, Ben.”

Now it was Kylo who flinched at the mention of his birth name.

“ _Don’t_ call me by that name.”

“It is _your_ name, Ben.” Han countered. “I won’t call you by that ridiculous name you gave yourself.”

Kylo bit his tongue. “It is my name _now_. The door is down the hall, if you can’t remember.”

Han ignored Kylo’s biting remark, continuing where he left off. “I know you’re angry, your mother and I- we made mistakes. We failed you, son, but we want you to come home.”

Kylo was on the verge of breaking something. Ten years of suppressed anger, pain and neglect breached the surface of the meager rest of composure he had left. 

“ _Mistakes_?” Kylo spat the word out, like it was foul tasting in his mouth. It was an _insult_ to him. “Where is my mother, if she is so sorry? Oh, let me guess, she has other important matters to attend to. Just like before, huh?”

“Ben, I know we hurt you and there is nothing we can do, to reverse that. We thought the time away from court, from Naboo, from your responsibilities and-,”

Han stopped himself before he finished his sentence, when Kylo whirled around.

“Don’t you _dare_ , Han!”

His father held his hands up in surrender, like he was trying to calm down a raging animal.

“I won’t, Ben. We want you to come home, son. Your mother is heartbroken-,”

Kylo snorted sardonically. “Oh, I can imagine. What a disappointment I must be to her and how sorry she is, that she couldn’t mold me into the perfect prince to follow her succession.”

A flash of anger crossed his father’s features, before it disappeared again. “You know that’s not true. We failed you, Ben, but that doesn’t mean we don’t love you. Do you know what your mother does, before she goes to sleep?”

“I don’t ca-,”

“She reads your books. She’s so proud of you, Ben, she tells everyone she meets you’re a professor, that you’re a doctor and that you teach at a renowned university.” Han sighed deeply. “I don’t give a damn if you want to take the throne or not. All I want for you, is to come home.”

The mere thought of returning to the palace made his stomach sink and he tasted something bitter in his mouth. The rooms that haunted him in his nightmares, with their golden ornaments and red velvet furniture. Cold hands with sharp nails that scraped along his skin, Kylo felt cold sweat form on his forehead and above his lip. His chest started to heave with heavy, panicked breaths. _Calm down. Control it_. 

“Ben?”

Han’s worried voice broke through the heavy fog of panic and past separated from the present like a clear cut and Kylo was no longer in that room, but back in his own kitchen. Han made a step towards him, but he held up a hand, stopping his father from coming closer to him.

“ _Don’t_ , just leave me be. You’re still her lapdog, Han. Doing the dirty work for her. You will never learn, but I did.”

“Son, I am no one’s lapdog. I am here because I want you to come home and be happy-,”

_Happy_. That was the final straw for him. The remaining bit of self-control Kylo kept around his father went out the window.

“I was _never_ happy!” He shouted. His hands balled into fists, he was shaking from head to toe. “Rules and responsibilities were shoved down my throat since my birth and _suffocated_ me! I was paraded around like a trophy by Leia when it was convenient for her and then she threw me aside like a fucking ragdoll. You didn’t give a damn about me, both of you!” Kylo felt a lump form in his throat. “If it wasn’t for that maid who found me, that fucking _animal_ would have- he would have done worse.”

Han looked like he was about to throw up. Any color left his face and he leaned against the marble of Kylo’s kitchen counter for support. Kylo himself felt bile rise in his throat.

“Of course, _you_ want me happy. You, who couldn’t stand to stay around long enough to look after the child you _loved_ so dearly.”

“Ben, I was a shit father, I know. God knows, we made mistakes and that we hurt you-,”

Han groaned in pain, clutching the white shirt beneath the brown leather where his heart was beating. His face was contorted with pain and Han had to hold onto the kitchen counter. His father started to sway on his feet and Kylo’s rage instantly puffed out.

“Han?”

Han’s legs buckled underneath him and his knees hit the kitchen floor hard. He extended his arm to Kylo, as if Han wanted to grab him.

“Ben- _love you_ -,” Then he fell forward, unconsciousness.

Kylo couldn’t catch his father, before he hit the floor. In a split second, he was next to the unmoving body of his father.

“Han!”

Panicked, he felt for a pulse and a fresh wave of fear hit him, when he felt how irregular and weak the pulse of his father was. Turning him carefully onto his back, he stretched his neck, so he would be able to breathe easier.

“Fuck! Han, come on, wake up.”

Cursing, Kylo pulled out his phone and dialed the emergency number.

“Dad!”

 

If it was up to Rey to define the saying ‘ _life’s a drag’_ , her answer would be: _college_.

 Two weeks into the new semester and Rey seriously doubted her sanity and feared for her mental stability. According to Rose, people who did bad things in their previous life, were repaid in their current life with equally bad things. Rey was sure, she must have done something so vile and horrible in her previous life, that the punishment equaled the crime. Obviously, her punishment was professor Ren and a burglar.

The first lecture of her day was a nightmare. Rey couldn’t keep up, since the book she needed lay torn shreds somewhere in the trash. Next, she went to the administration office to order new books, where she was promptly lectured by Miss Phasma to be more careful with the new ones. For Rey, that was the hardest part. Only after an explanation what exactly happened to her books, Miss Phasma got calmer and gave her a look of sympathy, before she ordered a stack of new books. Halfway into Rey’s second lecture, she got a text from the catering company, that she needed to step in for someone tonight. Rey hated catering during the week and usually declined every request, but given that she just ordered new books for almost two hundred bucks, that she needed a new lock and furniture… she just couldn’t say no. She quickly texted back and agreed to work until one. The only redeeming feature of the day was the fact, that she was spared from professor Ren and his brain wrecking lectures. Besides, she didn’t know if she had enough self-restraint left to act normal around him. Especially since she felt the almost irresistible urge to throw herself into strong arms and just forget about the world around her. At least for a few blissful seconds. With her meager belongings in her arms and a massive headache, Rey fled the campus.

Poe had parked his coupé by the sidewalk, his engine was running and he was silently moving his head in the rhythm of a song on the radio. When he saw her, he leaned over the passenger’s seat and opened the door from the inside. As soon as Poe noticed the liverish look on her face, his beaming smile turned into a thrown. With a heavy sigh, Rey slid into the seat next to Poe, who studied her face like a hawk.

“What’s wrong, sourpuss?”

It wasn’t that Rey didn’t trust Poe. It was quite the opposite, or else she wouldn’t have slept at his house the last two days. She just felt bad for loading her problems onto him. Quickly brushing him off, she tried to talk her way around it.

 “Nothing, really. My professors were absolute douchebags about the missing books and the lectures were exhausting. Bonus, I’ve got to step in for a girl at work tonight.”

Poe sighed and gave her a sympathetic look, rubbing her arm in a calming gesture. Rey tensed under his hand.

“Rough day, hm? But I’ve got something to cheer you up.”

Rey’s brows shot up. “Oh?”

Poe nodded, giving her a little wink. “There’s a DIY market about twenty minutes from here. I called them this morning and asked if they have a locker for your door type and guess what, they have some in store.”

Truly happy about the news, Rey smiled brightly at him. “That’s great, Poe. So, do we have time to pick it up now or-,”

“We sure am.”

Instead of grabbing the gear shift like Rey had expected him to do, Poe grabbed her hands and put them onto the ventilation. He turned up the heat, so that her cold fingers could warm up again. Rey was always _freezing_ during winter, well, she guessed everybody was, but she was a hardship case. Rey blamed her susceptibility to the cold on living under the blazing sun of Jakku for over seventeen years. Her hands were close to numbness, when she walked out of the lectures since the auditoriums were temperature-controlled and never as warm as Rey would have liked. While they drove, she enjoyed the warmth spreading from her fingers up her arms, her fingertips started to burn already, but she loved it.

“Thanks. The auditoriums are always cold.”

Poe kept quiet, but Rey swore he looked a little too long at her lips from the corner of his eye.

 

Poe parked the car by the entrance of the DIY. They were greeted by a teenage boy who wore a yellow shirt that was so bright, it almost hurt Rey’s eyes. He sat behind the information point and was aimlessly leafing through the pages of a magazine and Rey would bet her left hand, it had nothing to do with DIY. He didn’t even look up, instead he just rattled down a trite greeting.

“Welcome to Duncan’s DIY shop, be smart and save ten percent off your purchase by buying a lawnmower in our exclusive special offer today.”

It was horribly warm inside the shop and the air smelled of wood and glue. Rey scrunched up her nose and Poe laughed, but quickly covered it up with a horribly fake cough. While Poe led her to the right aisle, Rey gave him a questioning look.

“Buying a lawnmower? It’s not even spring.”

Poe just shrugged.  “The best gardener thinks ahead, you know?”

They stopped in front of a panel, with exhibition locks from top to bottom. Rey was overwhelmed by the sheer variety in front of her and was more than glad, that Poe was with her.  

Poe quickly figured out which type of lock she needed for her door. He grabbed a sturdy looking one and gave it to her. Rey cringed when she saw the price tag. The one she needed was of course pricier than other locks for hardwood doors. Reluctantly, Rey gave the girl behind the cash register her credit card. With a forced smile that probably made her probably look like she really needed to use the restroom, Rey took the receipt and didn’t look at the sum.

 

A while later, after a small dinner together at his house, Poe had grabbed a few folders from his office and left her alone to do some accounting for the _Big Easy_. If Rey was honest to herself, it was what she needed. Living with Poe was great, it was fun and easy, but for Rey it was also suffocating. She was afraid how comfortable she got with Poe after only two days. It was daunting how easily she fell into the swing of living with him. Rey knew he enjoyed their time together. Poe made more than a few supple hints that he was sad, that she wanted to move back into her apartment so soon. The last thing she wanted to do, was to hurt Poe in any way. That also meant, she had to keep him at arm’s length to keep his feelings from being wounded. On the other hand, she felt ridiculously safe around him. There was no edge of thrill when she was close to Poe, or the tiniest shiver of fear down her spine when she looked at him, but the heat in her lower belly was also missing. Emotions she chronologically felt, when she was close to professor Ren.

 

Evening came and to Rey’s great horror, she had agreed to work at the Gill estate. It was a private soiree or whatever the fancy people inside the massive mansion called it. The sheer wealth the Gill family luxuriated in, was simply puzzling to Rey. The Gill estate was pompous, opulent and ridiculously large. Rey overcame the sudden urge to turn around and flee as soon as she stood in front of the great golden gate that surrounded the entire property. With Rey being an endless optimist, she believed in the possibility that Johanna would not be present, while she worked. Her hopes went flying out the window, when Rey had entered the grand room the party was hosted in. Johanna sat at the head of the claw footed table, next to a man with thinning grey hair and eyes that reminded Rey of a shark one’s. Her pearl blond hair, that somehow seemed even whiter today, was tousled and curled up into a complicated hairdo. She wore a skintight red dress that pushed her breast up towards her chin and made her look like a doll, with her stick thin waist and round hips. The red eyeshadow and lipstick on her plush lips were too much and made her face look like it was made of plastic. _Dear God, please, just let me disappear. I would take an alien attack, too._ Before Rey could disappear between the other staff people and her colleagues, Johanna saw her. Her eyebrow arched into a perfect line and a taunting smirk stretched the corner of her lip. Just like that, Rey knew this evening would be hell on earth. Her suspicions about the course of the evening turned out to be more than precise. Johanna used _every_ chance to give Rey a run for her money. The champagne was always warm, or the food Rey brought her was cold and the dishes she handed out was dirty. Rey’s favorite spot to hide was the kitchen. She took every opportunity to bring dishes back, or fill the plates with new food, at least she was out of Johanna’s reach. But even a five-course meal didn’t last all night.

The party moved from the grand hall with the dining table to another one, which was equally big if not bigger, than the room before. Rey awed at the hand drawn paintings on the ceiling and the golden chandeliers that hung down, their crystals breaking the light beams. While she flitted through the room, gathering empty champagne glasses to bring them back into the kitchen, Rey listened to the conversations around her. Main topics were the current stock market, building projects and successions of billion-dollar companies. Rey managed to avoid Johanna for the greatest part of the time, making beelines around her, whenever she saw her blonde head. After a quick coordination with her colleagues, Rey managed to snatch a spot in the kitchen for preparing trays with finger food. The kitchen was mostly unoccupied, leaving Rey for greatest part alone with her thoughts and work. Only a few of her colleagues came in to gather newly filled trays with expensive lobster, caviar and crabs. Rey was on her fourth tray, when she heard heels clicking against the marble of the floor. She didn’t need to turn around, Rey knew _exactly_ who had entered the kitchen. She ignored Johanna, until it was impossible.

Johanna leisurely walked around Rey and leaned against the kitchen counter, her blue eyes trailing up and down her body with disdain. She clicked her tongue in a scolding way.

“Well, well, what do we have here? Our professor’s favorite. Fancy meeting you here, Rey.”

Rey kept her hands busy with decorating the silver trays, she tried her best to hide the tremor of her hands.

“What is it, he sees in you, hm? You’re just _dull_.” Johanna walked around her. “You’re not that pretty, you have nothing special and yet, he seems to give you room for extra credits.”

With a hiss, Rey turned to Johanna meeting her eyes. “Unlike you, I don’t need an ‘ _extra credit’_ ,” Rey moved her fingers in a typical air quote move. “I’m working my ass off to keep up with the lectures. I don’t need to spread my legs for good grades.”

There was a moment of disbelief on Johanna’s side, before her face twisted into a mask of pure anger. Her blue eyes darted to the trays next to Rey and with a single swipe of her manicured hands, the trays fell to the floor with a loud crash. Rey managed to jump back, before the food could spill over her feet. There went her paycheck for the evening. Johanna kicked one of the trays across the kitchen, making an even bigger mess of the kitchen as it already was.

“What the hell do you want from me, huh?” Rey seethed through clenched teeth, looking at the smug girl across from her.

“Oh, don’t act all innocent. I know exactly what you’re doing! Your ‘ _poor scholar student only needs help’_ act won’t work on me.”

Johanna stepped over the mess on the floor and came right up into Rey’s face. She practically oozed jealousy.

“I know you fucked Ren, but how shall I put it?” She tapped her chin with a perfectly manicured fingernail. “I did too.”

This time, Rey couldn’t hide the flinch. The revelation felt like a knife to her gut. And it cut _deep_. Johanna gave a fake, arrogant laugh that broke through Rey’s last defense against the blonde girl. Every single word hit home. Just like Johanna had intended.

 “Oh, you thought you were the only, huh? What, did you- did you believe he thinks you’re that special, that you’re the only one for him? That hurts, doesn’t it?”

Johanna patted Rey’s cheek. She didn’t even have the will or strength to slap her hand away.

“You were failing and you begged him to give you a better grade. I understand it, honey. He’s good, isn’t he? He made me come so hard, I blacked out for a second.”

This was a nightmare. Just a bad dream. Johanna mockingly threw her hand over her mouth in faked shock when she noticed Rey’s horrified face.

“Oh, you- did you think it was something special for him?” Johanna stepped back and over the mess on the floor. “Like I said, you’re just a no one.”

With an evil grin, Johanna turned on the spot and yelled at the top of her lungs for her father.

“Daddy! Daddy, this stupid girl threw our food on the floor!”

Johanna’s father came around the corner, it was the same man she sat next to at the tale. He took in the mess on the floor, a speechless Rey standing in between the fallen trays and his outraged daughter.

“You-,” Mister Gill stalked towards her and shoved a finger up her face. “This will cost you your job, you stupid girl! Do you know how much we paid your boss? This is unacceptable!”

“Mister Gill, I’m really sorry! It was an accident-,”

Rey tried to appease the raging man in front of her, but to no avail. Over the shoulder of her father, Johanna gave Rey a triumphant smile and disappeared from the kitchen.

“Shut up!” His face was covered in red blotches, while he was busy calling her boss. “You’re just useless, get out!”

Rey did exactly that. She darted around him and fled from the kitchen, down the hall. Tears burned in her eyes and her ears were ringing. _You’re a charity case._ Johanna was right. It was just a dream. A beautiful dream that would never come true.

 

It was already well past visiting hours at the Hanna General Hospital. The patient in room 234, a private one-patient-bedroom, was technically a king and a private insurance patient.  That, of course, made the nurses and doctors quickly overlook the small detail, that usually visitors were friendly asked to leave four hours ago.

Kylo had been sitting in a surprisingly comfortable chair next to the bed of his father, since early morning. Han’s skin had regained a bit of color and his breathing no longer sounded like the rattle of an oldy, rusty chain of a castle ghost. He had been in and out of the room for several check-ups and examinations, but through most of the procedures, Han had not regained consciousness. Kylo spent most of his day in the hospital, next to his father and watched the nurses and doctors with hawk eyes. It was ironic, truly. Kylo had spent ten years on severing all bonds to his family and here he was, seated next to his father unwilling to leave his side. The reading at University of Canto Bight would be rescheduled, so it wasn’t a total loss for Kylo. After more than twelve hours inside the hospital, numerous discussions and several talks with nurses later, his eyes started to get heavy. He was slightly dozing in the chair next to his father’s unmoving form, when Kylo heard the sheets rustling. He sat up straight in the chair a second later. Han’s eyes were open.

“Hey, kid.”

His voice was hoarse and tired, he sounded like a was a hundred years old. He looked like it, too.

“How long have I been out?”

Kylo shrugged and propped his elbows on his knees, folding his hands under his chin. “Give or take, twelve hours.”

Han cursed silently, lifted a hand to his face and rubbed his eyes. “You stayed the whole time?”

Kylo grabbed water bottle on the nightstand and opened it for his father. He knew Han was too weak to do it himself now. Han took the bottle from him and downed the whole thing in under a minute.

“I’m sorry you had to see that, son.”

After a while of silence, Han asked the crucial question.  “They told you, right?”

Kylo nodded. There was no point in lying. “They did. The doctors also told me, you were supposed to start treatment a while ago. Considering your blood levels and quantity of malignant cells in it.”

Han sighed heavily. “I wasn’t feeling good for a while already, so they checked me and diagnosed the lymphoma. When I told your mother about it, it was just too much. She had a breakdown. Being part from you, my sickness...,”

The crooked smirk on Han’s face took Kylo by surprise.

“Your mother drives me crazy sometimes, but I wouldn’t hesitate a second and cut my heart from my chest for her. One day, son, when you find that _one_ woman, you’ll understand.  She will drive you up the walls, tear your heart into tiny pieces and makes you forget your own name when she smiles at you- you’ll be ready to do about anything to see her happy.”

A weight pulled Kylo’s heart further down towards his kneecaps.

The things he remembered primary from his childhood and teenage years were pictures of his parents constantly arguing and screaming at each other. But there was something else, memories he had pushed into the back of his mind to forget them. Han and Leia sitting at the kitchen table, smiling at each other as if they knew a secret only meant for the two of them. Kylo remembered stolen kisses and secret hugs during banquets and festivities. _Love_.

“I was supposed to start treatment, but then your mother had the breakdown. I just couldn’t go and leave her alone that long. I promised her I would bring you back home. We get it, Ben, we were shit parents. She knows it, I know it. End of the story. You were at the receiving end of it all and we never really considered that, until it was all too late.”

Han slowly, carefully sat up in his bed. His arms shook with the effort, but he managed to sit upright.

 “I wasn’t the father you deserved and needed. There’s nothing I can do to make those years up to you. Now, that I’m old and grey, maybe I’m finally able to be what you need. Just like your mother.”

Oh, how it _hurt_. Kylo’s chest felt like it was ripped open inside out. Claws tore at his flesh, pulled it apart and away from his heart. How long had he wanted this kind of affection? This was exactly what he needed and wanted throughout his childhood. A father that stood up for him, who gave him advice and lend a hand in situations, where his own two just weren’t enough.

Yet, the damage done was too deep, the fear of abandonment was too strong. Stronger than anything else. Kylo swallowed hard, trying to get rid of the lump in his throat.

“I don’t need anything from you, or my mother. Get back on your feet and then, leave me the hell alone.”

Kylo swore he saw tears in his father’s eyes when he stood up, but he didn’t look back. He gathered his coat and walked over to the door. He didn’t dare to turn around, his knees were weak and his heart pounded in his chest. Kylo didn’t know if he was strong enough to not throw himself back into his father’s arms and cry like a little boy. A boy he had killed years ago. _Kill the boy. Become the man_. The words still haunted him, echoed in his head and reminded him, _why_ he had severed all ties to his past. His hand hovered over the door handle for the tiniest moment.

“Start your treatment.”

Only after he had closed the door behind him, Kylo allowed the two lonely tears to run down his cheeks. Unnoticed. Secretly.

 

_Next morning, UHC…_

The morning after the disastrous evening at the Gill mansion had Rey at rock bottom of her bad mood. The complaint about her by Mister Gill had indeed reached her boss, but luckily for her, the only thing that happened was an enormous cut from her paycheck and a warning. Rey honestly couldn’t care less about her job at the moment. She was so hurt by Johanna’s words and the unwanted pictures inside her head of Johanna and professor Ren tangled together, kissing and touching... gave her enough to think about.

Poe, the good soul, knew that something happened as soon as she stood up the next morning. Just like that, in the middle of Poe’s kitchen with BB looking at her with his big blue eyes, Rey’s dams broke. She cried into his chest and she just couldn’t keep quiet any longer. So, she told Poe everything. She told him about the first lecture, where professor Ren entitled her as ‘charity case’, the first clash with Johanna and what the other students secretly thought about her. Her story ended with Stanley’s attack after her shift at the _Lunatic_. Rey told him, how professor Ren had saved her from Stanley and how he had gotten her home safely. She came to the grand ending and told him, what Johanna said about her and how she threw the trays to the floor and how that costed her the paycheck for the evening. Poe had listened to her story with a grim face, his jaw was set tight and a muscle in his cheek ticked. After her tears ebbed away, she simply asked Poe if he could give her a ride to UHC and he got the hint, that she was just not in the mood to talk about everything yet. After he dropped her off, he gave her a small, sympathetic smile before he drove off.

Rey dragged her tired body across campus, making her way around students and keeping generally to herself. She was frustrated. She had loved every second of her first year at UHC. Of course, it wasn’t a picnic. It had been exhausting and exams were a nightmare, let alone studying for them. Working two jobs and balancing her daily study time, was at times almost impossible, yet, she was grateful.

She was grateful for her chance to build a better future for herself. Now, she dreaded each new day, nervously waiting for the next disaster to happen.   _He’s good, isn’t he? He made me come so hard, I blacked out for a second._ Rey’s stomach revolted when Johanna’s cruel words followed her down the corridor. They had followed Rey into her dreams, making it impossible to get a good night’s rest. Which ultimately led to Rey looking and feeling like a zombie.

Lord have mercy, her first lecture was with Professor Ren. _Great_. She had to face Ren and Johanna at the same time.

Rey pulled the strap of her bag higher onto her shoulder and walked into the auditorium. Johanna was already seated in the front row and she had the sheer audacity to give her a little wave, like they were friends. Rey felt her anger boil to the surface by the gesture, but she put a leash on her temper. She straightened her shoulders and walked right past her. Rey sat down in her usual seat and started to unpack her things for the lecture.

The auditorium was only halfway filled with students, when the doors flew open so hard that they bounced off the walls and professor Ren stormed inside. Rey jumped in her seat, like many other students and the auditorium fell dead silent right away. He slammed his case onto the desk and threw his coat over the chair carelessly. He never did that. He would always fold it and carefully place it over the backrest. Rey noticed the dark circles under his eyes and his disheveled hair first. His tie was missing, just like his watch and- she took a closer look, his shirt had wrinkles in it. It almost looked like he had slept in it. She had never once seen him wear something beyond tailored perfection.

A group of four students came through the door, they laughed loudly, exchanging silly comments. As soon as they saw the murderous look on professor Ren’s face, each of them blanched, freezing in their spots.

“You four, get out of my auditorium. Class has started.”

“Um, professor Ren, we still have five minutes to-,”

He whirled around, his anger was palpable and like a wall that hit the students. They all jumped back in unison.

 “Class starts, when I enter the auditorium! Out now!”

The four students practically fled the auditorium. Professor Ren stomped to the door and slammed it shut behind the students, locking it. Rey, like every other student in the auditorium, cowered in her seat and tried to be as small and imperceptible as possible. Rey tried her best to keep up with her liverish professor during the lecture, which was almost impossible. If she thought his other lectures were demanding her complete attention, oh boy, was she _wrong_. At some point, Rey was utterly and helplessly overwhelmed by trying to make notes and type on her laptop. An audible sigh of relief went through the room, when professor Ren threw his books and Mac carelessly into his briefcase.

“I want a five-pager by the end of next week about today’s topic. Delayed works will be graded as failed. Class dismissed.”

Then he was gone. Usually, students would already move from their seats, pack their things and get ready to move on to their next class, but not today. The entire auditorium was dead silent and nobody moved.

Then, someone let out a long, elongated “Fuuuck… he’s crazy… he’s batshit crazy.”

Other students joined in, absolutely agreeing with their fellow victim. “I’m going to the dean. That’s just insane, someone like him shouldn’t be allowed to teach!”

Rey exited the auditorium, with her head in the clouds. What happened to professor Ren that made him so furious? He reminded her of a caged animal that was wounded and lashed out at everything around it, just to keep the world at bay. Yet, Rey’s curious nature made it hard for her to just put everything aside and get on with her day. She could hardly walk into his office and ask him, right? Right. Her next class was across campus, which meant she had to leave the main building for the west wing of UHC.

On her way out, she crossed the small kiosk by the double-doors. It wasn’t anything fancy, but it sold freshly brew coffee, tea and hot chocolate, next to beagles and small snacks. Rey came to love the small kiosk, since it gave free dextrose to the students during midterms and finals. Rey never saw professor Ren drink something during the lectures. She didn’t see a coffee machine in his office, or water bottles. Professor Meyer always hid a chocolate bar in the top shelf of his desk, offering her some when she came to his office for advice or during office hours. He had pictures of his family, his wife and daughters, even his dog on his table. Professor Ren didn’t. There was nothing personal about his office. She knew this was probably a stupid idea, but somehow the thought of professor Ren, all alone in his office with nothing but his rage tore her heart apart. With newfound determination, she turned around and walked up to the kiosk, greeting the barista behind the counter.

“Hi, can I have a chamomile tea with honey and raspberry, please?”

 

Kylo threw his briefcase to the floor and fell into his chair with a heavy thud. A headache was splitting his skull from the inside, he didn’t sleep a minute after he left the hospital. The second night in a row with no sleep and too much alcohol. Kylo never called in sick, not even when he broke his hand a few years ago. Yet, today he was seriously tempted to do exactly that. Han Solo’s words still haunted him, played over and over in his head, each time they cut him deeper. The first thing Kylo usually did when he entered the auditorium, was to automatically check the rows of. His eyes found the back of the auditorium and yes, there she was, in her usual seat wrapped in a fluffy cardigan. She always seemed cold, no matter at what time of the day he saw her. She was always dressed in thick clothes and tried to keep her hands warm. Usually, she would meet his gaze once or twice over the duration of the lecture, but not today. She kept her hazel-green eyes on her notes. The fact that she didn’t dare to look him in the eyes made Kylo even angrier. It was then, when he decided to call the dean and tell him, he was going home due to family issues, his mobile began to buzz in his pocket. The number of the caller was withheld. He took the call.

“Ren.”

“ _It is done, your highness. Mission accomplished, if you will.”_ Hux. At least something that made his day a little sweeter.

Ren growled, but didn’t bother to make a remark. “Is he still breathing?”

Hux chuckled, very pleased with himself. “ _Still breathing, sadly, but he won’t touch a girl for a very long time. Your girl, especially. Just as his excellency wished.”_

Kylo froze. His girl? Miss Doe was _not_ his girl. Goddamn it, why did it sound so right then? With a low growl he ended the call. The thought of Stanley in a hospital bed, probably pissing blood for a good few weeks satisfied Kylo’s hunger for revenge immensely. He decided, he would satisfy his need to forget with alcohol now.

Kylo grabbed his winter coat and buttoned it up, after he shut down his pc. He was well on his way to the door, when Kylo heard the tentative knock. He stared at the door, then at the ceiling and internally he prayed for patience. If this was a student, begging for more time to finish the paper, so help him God… he wrenched the door open. He heard a female gasp, before he recognized the blue parker. Miss Doe jumped back, startled by the sudden movement of the door. She held a white paper cup with the university’s kiosk logo on it. He instantly thanked whatever good force watched over her for the plastic lid on the cup, or else she would have poured the steaming hot liquid all over her hand. But, what was she doing here?

“Professor Ren, I-,” Her hazel-green eyes flitted from his shoulders to his briefcase. “You’re leaving?”

He swiftly nodded and he immediately regretted moving his head. His head was _pounding_. “I am. If you need help for with the paper-,”

“No, that’s not-,” she took a deep breath, collecting her thoughts. “I’ll leave you alone then, have a good da-,”

A minute ago, he wanted nothing more than to leave his office and go home, now he wanted to stay exactly where he was. Kylo stepped aside and opened his door for her.

 “Miss Doe, come in.”

Within the seclusion of his office, Kylo dared to let his eyes linger on her face. His answer had upset her, it was obvious. She was looking at everything, but him. He had learned one thing about her during the past two weeks. Rey guarded herself around everyone, but her eyes were like open books. Someone attentive could read every single emotion she felt, just by looking into her eyes. Then she did something, he would have never expected. She extended her hand towards him and wordlessly offered him the paper cup. His eyes were glued to the small hand holding onto the cheap paper cup.

“I don’t know if you like it or not, it’s- it’s chamomile with honey and raspberry. It’s what I drink when I don’t feel well. I didn’t know if you like tea or if you prefer coffee, it’s just-,” The slightest tint of a blush colored her cheeks. “I thought, maybe this helps.”

Kylo stared at the cup. A thousand emotions ran through him, yet his brain was empty. He didn’t know what to say or what to do.

She pulled back and lowered her hand. “Or not, I’m sorry- I didn’t mean to upset yo-,”

His own shot forward and he grabbed the cup. Their fingertips touched and an electric shockwave went through Kylo’s body. It vibrated along his limbs. With a quiet gasp, she quickly pulled her hand back.

“Thank you, honestly. I- thank you.”

She gave him a timid smile and simply shrugged her shoulders, as if this kind gesture was no big deal for her. “You’re welcome.”

The silent tension inside his office was palpable, it hung heavy and thick between them. Neither of them moved or said something. He felt hypnotized by her hazel-green gaze, her big and innocent eyes that trapped him right where he stood. She cleared her throat and the spell was broken. Then, the little gerbil hurried out of his office, closing the door behind her.

 

Rey was unexpectedly excited to return to her apartment. That was probably also the reason why her shift at the café felt like a small eternity.

After her lectures she had taken the bus straight to the _Big Easy_ , where Poe was already waiting for her. He had fixed her lock while Rey had been in classes and he also found an inflatable mattress in his garage, those that were mostly used for camping. Since she didn’t have a mattress in her bed anymore, she gladly took it as substitute. Entering her apartment felt strange. Knowing someone had been inside and went through her personal belongings still made Rey uneasy. Nonetheless, this tiny apartment was her home and her safe.

Rey closed the door behind her and listened into the silence of her apartment. The emptiness of every room. Was it still the same as before? No, it wasn’t, but it was everything she had. Rey felt the pressing urge to scrub her entire apartment from top to bottom. So, she did. Rey scrubbed every surface, she washed every single item of clothing, including the towels in her bathroom and threw mopped her floor twice.

Four hours later and dead tired, she suspiciously watched her surrogate mattress slowly blow up on her bed. It didn’t look trustworthy nor comfortable to begin with, but it was better than nothing. Carefully she laid down on the mattress and found with relief, that it wasn’t as bad as she had expected it to be. It felt a little awkward, but it wasn’t entirely uncomfortable. Rey closed her eyes, but despite her tired body and mind, sleep wouldn’t come. There was a struggle within her, so many things all came together while she was lying in her bedroom. Partially it was because this was her first night home after the burglar, Johanna’s hurtful words and especially what had happened _after_ professor Ren’s lecture. The moment she offered the cup to professor Ren, Rey knew she had made a mistake. A huge mistake. He froze and he stared at her hand like she had offered him poison. She had braced herself for the rant about appropriate behavior of students towards their professors, that this was the third strike and he would report her to the dean, but it didn’t come. Instead, he looked like she had taken him off guard. If Rey didn’t know any better it looked like he was surprised by her gesture, as if he had never known kindness ever in his life before.

Instead of the wigging she expected, she received something entirely different. His gratitude. He took the tea from her and when their fingertips brushed, an electric shock went through her body. It was a wild mix of sensations. Every nerve ending in her body was concentrated in her fingertips and all those endings were stimulated at once. Just the sheer memory of their fleeting touch made her skin tingle. There was a tight coil in her lower stomach and her skin felt too tight. A deep pressure within her. The throbbing sensation between her legs reminded Rey where exactly she felt most of the pressure. This was the line Rey had not dared to cross yet. She was no stranger to masturbation. She was young and yes, she had certain urges, just like every other person. Admittedly, Rey touched herself rarely. Most of the time she was just too exhausted or simply not in the mood. Rey never envisioned a man while she touched herself. It was only her and her hands. _If_ she imagined something, it was a different room. Sometimes it was her future home, how she envisioned her bedroom later, or it was a hotel room of a nameless tropical island. Her entire body was on fire, little shocks went through her limbs and made her underwear wet. This was a mistake… if she did this, it was irreversible. In her mind, pleasure would be forever connected to the moment their fingers brushed and Rey realized, she wanted him. She would always remember the night she touched herself, while she imagined her professor above her. Inside her. Her hands traveled lower and under the elastic waistband of her underwear. She could feel a damp spot on her underwear and the heat that radiated off from between her thighs. Rey’s panties were soaked, she had never been this wet before in her life. Her fingertips edged beneath the cotton of her panties and she gasped loudly when she found wet, hot flesh. _Yes_. She wanted it. She _needed_ it. Rey brushed her clitoris by accident and her back bowed off the bed. She wasn’t a very practiced person, she had never explored her body to find out what exactly made her come undone, but tonight was different. She was so sensitive, her pussy pulsed and her clit throbbed. Like she was guided by something, she circled her entrance with her middle finger, while another entered her slick heat. She was burning alive. Heatwaves rolled through her body and she shivered, a light sheen of sweat covered her skin. Her fingers trailed from her opening to her clitoris and she drew lazy circles over it. Rey moaned. _Loud_. She couldn’t care less how dirty it sounded or if her neighbors could hear her. Rey saw him above her, heard his deep voice in her ear and could smell his after shave. But she couldn’t. Would he murmur filthy things in her ear, or would he be quiet? Would his fingers be rough and commanding or would they be gentle and comforting? Would his lips feel as soft as they looked?

Her fingers moved faster and a desperate scream escaped her lips. Her fingers weren’t firm and strong enough. She was so close… _so close_. Rey arched off the bed and spread her legs wider. The knot in her lower stomach drew tighter and tighter… she coiled like a spring. She felt the edge of her orgasm, but she just couldn’t reach it.

“Please-,”

She begged a ghost to finally give her release. Her fingers weren’t enough. It just didn’t give her what she desperately needed. _Come for me._ It was a deep, silken murmur in her head and it caressed her body like a feather. She came with a scream. Her vision whitened out and the world around her disappeared. Her hips gyrated against her hand and her body was rocked by the aftershocks of her orgasm. She gasped for air, her chest heaved with her heavy breathing. Slowly she came down from her high, back to reality. Her fingers were covered with her arousal when they slipped out of her underwear. Her body was weightless and her head heavy. Rey succumbed, falling into the gentle afterglow of her orgasm. Only tomorrow she would face the consequences of her actions, but not tonight. Tonight, she pushed aside the fact that she had doomed herself.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys, I simply cannot say how much I appreciate all your support! <3 I want to thank every single person that subscribed, gave a kudo and/or left a comment, you make my day! Let’s keep this a little shorter than the last AN, so I’ll try to stick to the basics here.^^
> 
> As always, leave me a comment what you thought of this chapter and of course, if you guys have any predictions or theory where the story is headed – gimme that gold, I love to chat with ya’ll! <3 
> 
> Also, for those who didn’t know already, I’m on Tumblr. So you can also find me here:   
> https://callmealessandra.tumblr.com/
> 
> So, I’ll guess I’ll see you all in the next chapter and in the comment section and on Tumblr. 
> 
> Byeeee!   
> XoXo Alessandra


	6. Confrontation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Tension between Kylo and Rey Comes to a boiling Point and there's no return from it.

_Basic Need_  
_Chapter 6_  
 _Confrontation_

The first month of college flew by and while Rey was busy with studying and her work, she tried her very best to avoid professor Ren at all costs. Outside of his lectures, of course. Since that one fatal touch in professor Ren’s office that led to Rey’s utter demise, which consisted of her twisting and turning in her sheets at night while she thought about her professor.  Rey had tried to stop herself, really, but she couldn’t help it. Almost every night, after she saw him, she would lie in her bed at night and touch herself. She came every single time. From then on, everything went downhill for her. Rey did her best to be in her seat a few minutes before the lectures began and hurried past professor Ren, when they were done. She formed a habit of looking to the ground, while she hurried past him, out of the auditorium. Johanna didn’t give her anymore trouble, at least that was some kind of positive outcome for Rey. She was obviously still pleased with herself for what she had done and the trouble she got Rey in. Rey had to beg her boss not to fire her, after Mister Gill had called him. She repeatedly told him also, that it was Johanna who threw the food onto to the floor. He had been seriously pissed, but after a lot of pleading and begging, additionally to the cut of her paycheck for the evening, he didn’t kick her out. Altogether, Rey had the feeling that her life slowly but surely crumpled into tiny little fragment in her hands and she couldn’t do a damn about it.

The hardest part about it though, came with the morning. Each and every night after she touched herself, cried out his name into her pillow, she would wake up to a harsh reality. Professor Ren had slept with Johanna. The man she imagined above her night after night, had touched Johanna with his hands. The same hands Rey imagined on her body and inside of her. He had kissed Johanna with the same lips Rey felt on her skin. Was that the reason why he had pulled Johanna aside, to tell her she was wrong and that he would never touch someone like Rey? Had he ushered her into his office to take her there, right on his desk to prove his words to be true? Thoughts like these constantly tormented Rey. Why did he save her then? Why did he risk a quarrel with Stanley, if Johanna was his true interest? After a few days of constantly asking herself that one question, Rey did come to a semi logical reason. At least from her point of view. He wanted something in return. It was simple, quid pro quo. In Jakku, everything was handled by the give and take method. In her mind, everything fit perfectly. She saw the red string that connected all his actions to Johanna’s words.

 

Another habit Rey had developed during the past fourteen days to make sure she wouldn’t run into professor Ren, was hiding inside the library of UHC. Not once during her first year had she ever seen him there, so she had deemed it as safe for now. Rey occupied her favorite spot inside the library, a small corner by the back of the grand hall. She had her nose buried inside a book about literature in the early 1800’s, when someone slid into the booth next to her.  Rey gave him a side glance, before she continued to read the text.

“Hey,” Finn whispered silently, so he wouldn’t disturb the other students around them. “I’ve texted you like ten times this morning.”

She turned the page around, but didn’t look up. “I didn’t look.”

Finn rolled his eyes and nudged her with his elbow. “You don’t say, smarty-pants.” He rummaged through his bag, before he got his mobile out. “You should really read this. I wanted to show it to you before your first lecture, but since you didn’t answer-,”

Finally, she looked up. She really didn’t have good day, today. She was angry and frustrated, a mixture that was always immensely dangerous with her. Her anger was something to be truly afraid of. It had always been there, deep inside of Rey and when it came to the surface, it was dangerous. 

“Finn, I’m really not in the mood, can’t this wait?” She asked irritated.

“I mean, it can, but I think you should really read this.”

He gave her his phone and when Rey read the first line of the online news article, her eyes widened.

**‘Son of District Attorney Henry Peterson beaten up as _‘act of revenge’_ ’**

**_Stanley Peterson_** _(23) son to Distric Attorney Henry Peterson and judge Elizabeth Conrad Peterson, was brutally attacked. Stanley was found close the newest in-location of Hanna City, the exclusive VIP-club ‘_ The Lunatic’, _severely beaten and unconscious. An ambulance was called and Peterson was admitted to the Hanna General. His father gave an early statement a few hours after his son was found. He stated that the attack on his son was a ‘_ deceitful and an open attack against his politics and his family, which will have dire consequences _’. Stanley suffered a concussion amongst other injuries like a broken arm, several cracked ribs and a ruptured kidney. The Peterson family gave no further statements, while the police department admitted that they run into open ends with their investigations._

“That’s the guy who attacked you, right?” With a huff, Finn crossed his arms across his chest. “I’d say karma’s a bitch, at least for him.”

Her heart sank straight into her kneecaps and Rey got a hollow feeling in her stomach. To Finn this seemed coincidental, but Rey knew better than to believe in coincidences. She just _knew_. This was professor Ren’s doing and sooner or later, Stanley would connect the attack with him and thus, with _her_. Someone like Stanley, with his background and influence could practically find out everything about her within an hour. Rey would be utterly defenseless against him and a vulnerable target. She _snapped_. This was his fault, she was open to attacks now and she wouldn’t be able to defend herself against Stanley. _He made you a target_. _He made you weak_. Rey jumped up and grabbed her bag. Finn called out after her in confusion, but she was already on her way to the door.

Rey ran down the corridor towards professor Ren’s office. The tender feelings she harbored for him deep inside of her were quickly tossed out of the window. She was _livid_. Rey bumped into a student, but she didn’t even hear the angry insult thrown at her. She didn’t knock, she didn’t care if there was another student in his office, or even another professor. Rey shoved the door open and barged into the office. Startled by the sudden intrusion, he looked up and over the rim of his glasses. The anger on his face quickly morphed into confusion.

“Miss Doe?”

Rey slammed the door shut behind her and marched to his desk. “Why did you do it?”

He blinked at her in confusion before he took off his glasses, placing them carefully on his desk next to a bunch of homework he was currently grading.

“I’m afraid I cannot follow you, Miss Doe. Why did I do what?”

“Stanley was beaten up, I read the news article today. Did you do that?”

“Miss Doe, I can’t follow-,”

“No!” She vigorously shook her head, she started to pace up and down in his office. “He will know! He will know it was you and then he’ll come after me!”

Professor Ren slowly stood up with an arm outstretched as if he wanted to calm down a wild animal, but his face told a different story. It was stern, the corners of his lips were turned downwards, which were typical signs of anger or distaste with him. Rey didn’t notice them in her anger. If she had, she certainly would have held her tongue. She threw her bag as hard as she could against the wall, successfully knocking a few picture frames with different certificates from the wall. Enraged, professor Ren stormed around his desk towards her.

“Miss Doe, you will stop this at once! Do you hear me?” He grabbed Rey by her arm. “Have you lost your mind?”

Rey fought against him and squirmed free from his grasp on her upper arm. “Don’t touch me! Not after you touched _her_!”

Professor Ren froze, he looked at her like she had punched him straight in the face. His face darkened, while his eyes became slits.

“After I touched _who_? What are you talking about?”

Rey couldn’t hear his sharp question, she didn’t care for the dark undertone in his voice or the grim line his lips formed. She rushed over to her bag, which lay beneath the fallen frames and grabbed hit hastily. Ry couldn’t think, all she heard was the blood rushing in her ears and the way her heart pounded. She screamed at him, she didn’t care if anyone outside of his office heard her.

“I was safe here! I was safe for the first time in my life and you destroyed it!”

She made a bolt for his door, she tried to escape him before professor Ren could do anything but stare at her in confusion, but he was faster. He was closer to the door than her and held it shut with his entire weight.

“You will explain your childish behavior to me, _immediately_!”

“Let me go! Let go of the damn door, Professor!”

Rey frantically pulled on the door handle, but her professor was considerably heavier than her. The door wouldn’t budge, no matter how hard she pulled. Rey didn’t even notice that she had started to cry. Rey hit the door with her flat hand, before she rested her forehead against the cool wood. Her tears ran freely down her cheeks now and her shoulders shook with every breath she took.

 “Do you have any idea what people like Stanley can do to people like me?” She asked between heaving breaths. “You made me the perfect target.”

 

Rey was still shaking from head to toe when she entered the auditorium. She had fled from his office after professor Ren had finally let go of the door. He called out after her, but she had ignored him. The last thirty minutes up to his lecture, she hid herself in the women’s restrooms a floor above. Finn had sent her three texts, asking if she was okay and each one had more question marks than the last. The last text finally told her to ‘ _call me, damn it!_ ’. Rey ignored all of them. She was still boiling mad and Finn didn’t deserve to be the outlet for her anger.

Most of the students got used to professor Ren’s explosive personality by now, but usually the number of students actually attending to his lectures were intermittent. The door opened and professor Ren rushed in, already halfway out of his coat. His cold, angry eyes found Rey over the heads of other students and she slid lower in her seat, pulling her shoulders up to her ears. She made herself as small and unnoticeable as possible. The entirety of the lecture, he constantly let his eyes wander to her and more than once, their eyes met.

The relief Rey felt when the lecture ended, was _indescribable_. She kept her head down while she disappeared in the crowd of students on their way out of the auditorium. Boy, was she wrong. Of course, he wouldn’t let her off the hook so easily.

“Miss Doe!”

His voice was cracked through the air like a whip.

“My office. _Now_.”

Other students around Rey froze just by the sound of his voice, before they nervously scattered away from her. Rey held her bag like a shield tightly in front of her body, helplessly looking from the door to her professor and back.

“My bus is about to arrive in five minutes-,”

Rey protested lamely, but he shut her up with one hard look.

“My office, now. No backtalk!”

Professor Ren grabbed her by the arm, making a bolt for an escape impossible. He yanked her around the corner and down the corridor that led to his office. She didn’t try to stop him, he was stronger than her and he dragged her with him like she weighed nothing more than a bag of feathers. A few bypassing students gave them an awkward look, but judging from Rey’s ghostly pale face, they probably thought she was ill or faint and need support, so she wouldn’t fall.

At his door, he shoved the ‘ _don’t disturb’_ card into the plastic case on his door, before he pulled her inside and slammed the door shut behind the two of them.

 

“Sit.”

Professor Ren gestured for her to sit down in the chair in front of his desk. His chest heaved with his sharp breaths, his broad chest expanded rapidly beneath the blue dress shirt he wore. His dark eyes were pools of liquid anger and a muscle in his jaw ticked. Rey jumped at his command, but didn’t move a muscle. She was frozen in place. They stared at each other, it was a battle of wills. Even though Rey was terrified at the moment, she still wouldn’t bend to his every will. He realized that she wouldn’t move or obey his order, he brushed past her, not letting her out of his sight. He grabbed the back of the chair roughly and pulled it around, so that she faced the chair.

“Sit down, Rey. I won’t tell you twice.”

His voice was dangerously calm, but the way his hands clawed at the back of the chair told Rey, that he was only a second from exploding on the inside. She shouldn’t argue with him, she knew that this was extremely dangerous territory now. She took a few shaking steps towards the chair and sat down slowly. He stomped around his desk and rolled his own chair around, so he was seated directly across from her.

“I want to get two things straight here, Miss Doe.” He held up one finger. “First, I am your superior and within these walls you will speak to me as such. You will _not_ come barging into my office, destroy my belongings and accuse me of plotting against Stanley Peterson.”

He was beyond angry, every word cut through the air like a gunshot.

“Second, I told you _multiple_ times to come to me if you’re worried about Stanley Peterson. It was you who chose to ignore my offer.”

Rey cringed with every word. She looked at him and he vibrated with anger from head to toe. _Oh Rey, you dug yourself a deep, deep grave,_ she thought _._

“Professor, I’m deeply sorry. I didn’t mean to be disrespectful in any way, I just-,”

He held up a hand and cut her off, obviously he was done with hearing her voice today.

“I don’t want to hear it. I am your professor, I have every right to expect a certain level of respect from you towards my person.”

“And what about me, professor? Let me guess, I don’t deserve the same?” She swallowed the lump in her throat down. “You didn’t know me for more than an hour and you labeled me, just like everybody else does. You called me a charity case.”

His brows shot up and his gaze darkened for a second. The anger that was so prominent in his dark eyes dimmed down, but only for a second.

“I know it hurts to hear the truth, but for UHC you are exactly that. We don’t give away scholarships just because we have a good-hearted school policy and a well-meaning dean. Why, in your so educated mind, does an elite university like UHC give away scholars?”

Rey kept silent, but professor Ren didn’t accept her silence.

“Say it, Rey. I know you are a smart enough to know the answer. Say it.”

“Image.”

“Correct.” He studied her face intensely. “You are charity for the university. You are here, because we decided to give you a chance. You better remember it the next time you think it’s a clever idea to speak to me like that.”

He leaned forward, so his face was up close to hers. A threatening undertone laced through his words.

“Just to make sure you understand that actions do carry consequences in this world, I want you to understand that, if you ever talk to me like this morning again, I will exclude you from my lectures.”

It was dead-silent in his office for a small moment, before Rey couldn’t contain her silent sobs anymore. How many times had this man managed to make her cry over the course of the last weeks? She was so sick of it. She was so sick of this conflicting, tearing sensations inside of her and the constant battle against the tender feelings she harbored for him. He could hurt her like no man before him and she was so damn vulnerable and open around him. Rey’s usual armor she wore around other people was useless when it came to professor Ren. Yet, she wasn’t willing to back down like that and roll over onto her back.

“I respect you, Professor Ren. I admire you and I always did.”

Her voice broke and she angrily wiped her tears away with the back of her hand.

“I know what I did this morning was not okay. It was disrespectful and rude and I’m sorry, but I’m not in the wrong. So, whatever punishment you have for me, go ahead. I will endure it. Unlike other students, I won’t come running to you if I’m in a tight spot and get on my knees for you, just for a better grade. I am _not_ a whore. I am not Johanna Gill.”

She spat the name out like it tasted foul on her tongue.

Professor Ren froze in his spot. “Did Johanna-,”

Rey stood up. She had had enough. She had enough of him de grading her and make her feel like a lesser being than him.

“Johanna made sure to tell me every single detail. I am not _weak_ and I will take whatever you throw at me. I’ll fight for it, but I sure as hell won’t spread my legs for it.”

Fed up, deeply hurt and angry, Rey stood up with shaking legs. She made her way to the door, but professor Ren was close behind her. He shoved the door close again, before Rey could slip through the small gap.

“Rey, whatever Johanna said-,”

“Don’t worry, Professor Ren. Your secret is save with me. I thought you were different, Professor.”

Sarcasm dripped from every word. She looked up at him, her cheeks still wet from freshly fallen tears. Slowly, the anger left Rey’s body and left her hollow, with no emotions.

“Rey-,”

Rey just shook her head. She was done. “Please let go of the door, Professor. I won’t waste your time any longer.”

 

Kylo stared at his ceiling, he had been lying in the same spot on his bed since early afternoon. He should really get up and clean the mess he left in his rage, after he came home. Several paintings on his walls, an outrageously expensive sculpture and a Chinese vase were victims of his wrath. Everything went wrong today. Kylo still couldn’t believe what a fucking _asshole_ he had been today. He had manhandled Rey like a caveman, with every right in the world, it was Rey who could easily report him to the dean. His temper often got the better of him and made Kylo do and say the most stupid things, but what he had done today, was by far the real kicker.

Yes, he had been furious with her. Kylo knew she didn’t mean to disrespect him, Rey had acted out of fear and confusion that moment. He didn’t mean to be so cruel to her and only after Rey fled from his office, he truly realized what he had said to her. What he forced _her_ to say. His least intention was to punish her, or to make her jump through hoops and overcome obstacles he threw at her intentionally. He should have listened to her, to what she revealed to him. Now it was clear to him. _I was safe here!_ Something had happened to her in Jakku and it traumatized her deeply. She was scared, because he left her defenseless against Stanley. Of course, she would be scared out of her mind. She was a clever girl, it wouldn’t take long for Stanley to connect the attack to Kylo and her. She read the article and immediately knew he had something to do with it. Rey came from a place, that was cruel and unforgiving and where vulnerability meant pain, or worse. So, like an injured animal, she had lashed out at him again. Kylo was so used to the protection his name gave him within Hanna City and outside, that he never directly thought about the consequences for _her_. His only intention behind his action was the concern for her safety. Never in his mind did it occur to him, that he could actually make it worse for her. Her behavior towards him the past two weeks had only heightened his agitation. The way she ducked away and tried to hide between the other students on her way out of the auditorium, the way she avoided to look at him during the lectures… it just made him realize, how used he had gotten to looking at her.

Kylo was a cold-hearted bastard and he didn’t give a shit about the things people said about him behind his back. Yet, what Rey Doe thought of him, was an entirely different matter.

It also made him question what had happened between Rey and Johanna. _I’m not a whore. I won’t spread my legs for it._ Not once in his career had Kylo ever entertained the thought of a quick affair with a student. It just wasn’t worth it. Sure, some of his female students tried to make advances, usually offering a quick fuck or blow job in exchange for a better grade. He had all but ignored them. All of them, including Johanna Gill. Since day one, Johanna had been a thorn in his side.  Johanna had tried to get him to undress her countless times, but he always turned a deaf ear to her and her never-ending attempts to seduce him. He didn’t mean to hurt Rey and the humiliation he put her through this morning, she didn’t deserve that.

 

Kylo was in rough place. Granted, the incident with his father still gripped him to the marrow, but that was no excuse for his behavior towards Rey this morning. Nothing had lessened his anger or numbed the deep, gnawing pain inside of Kylo, after his father presumably left Hanna. No amount of alcohol helped him, no matter how long he worked out or if he was buried head to toe in work. Nothing helped, nothing made him feel _less_. He had even tried to fuck Portia several times, just so he would forget, but that didn’t work out either. He simply couldn’t touch her. Where Portia’s eyes were blue, he saw deep hazel-green. Where her skin was pale, Kylo imagined tanned skin and where her curves were voluptuous, he imagined breasts with sweet raspberry nipples he could easily cup easily with his hands. Rey had entirely and utterly bewitched him. After four weeks in her presence, he could no longer deny that he wanted her. At night, his thoughts drifted to her and he imagined what she would look like naked and tousled in his bed, while his hand slid to his cock. Did Rey touch herself in the security of her tiny apartment, thinking he would never suspect it? Keeping it to be her dirty little secret, because she only did it in the middle of the night, alone for no one to witness her pleasure? Judging from her age and where she grew up, Kylo doubted she had had many lovers, it wouldn’t even surprise him if she was untouched.

He had his fair share of women in his life and Kylo knew exactly, when a woman wanted him. And Miss Doe did. And God help her, he wanted her too. But after his brilliant performance today, she would most likely curse him into the depths of hell.

Well, he was already in too deep for his own good.

He knew what he had to do. Kylo threw his legs over the edge of his bed, his naked feet touched the cool surface of his marble floor. He took two steps at the same time on his way downstairs, he avoided the shards of the modern art sculpture he had destroyed earlier this day. Kylo grabbed his coat with his car keys still inside his pocket and slid into his shoes, before he stormed out of his door.

 

Rey just had locked herself into her apartment and stayed inside for the rest of the day, just wanting to be alone. She quickly sent Poe a text, telling him she couldn’t cover her shift this evening. She didn’t even bother if he had answered or not. Finn had called several times, he came to her apartment and knocked on her door, but she ignored him. She had cried herself into sleep and only woke up from the pounding headache. The painkillers helped to ease her headache, but not the ache inside her chest. The next time she woke up, it was around nine.  Rey was absolutely worn out, but hunger drove her into action. Quickly searching through her almost empty fridge, she had to settle with some eggs and frozen vegetables. It was the only thing she still had. She stirred some eggs, while the vegetables slowly turned in the microwave. Rey had to eat her meals out of a lunch box, since all her plates were destroyed.

She didn’t turn on the TV, she just wanted to sit in silence and eat. She listened to the familiar sounds around her, dulled by her walls. Rey heard the music from the apartment below her. The baby a floor above was sound asleep, she met the mother and the small infant a while ago. She was a surprisingly nice woman, but couldn’t afford a better apartment since the father refused to pay for the child. Rey felt sorry for her, she wouldn’t want her children to grow up in a place like the Arcades.

While Rey munched on her late-night dinner, she heard the loud engine of an expensive sports car outside. She didn’t really think much of it. The Arcades didn’t only host the poorest people of Hanna. Close to the three apartment complexes, were shady nightclubs and strip clubs. She often heard the engines of expensive cars, driving by towards _that_ certain part of the city. She heard the familiar buzzing off the few doorbells inside the building, that still worked. Most of the buttons on the panel were out of function and Rey couldn’t remember, how often the inhabitants had begged the landlord to fix it. She heard loud foot stomping when several people ran to their doors and a few muffled curses. Then the front door opened and fell shut behind someone entering the staircase. Doors inside were ripped open and people started to shout, but all Rey focused on was the heavy footfall of a person walking up the stairs. It couldn’t be professor Ren. He wouldn’t even know which one her apartment was. But Rey froze, before she had finished the thought. He knew exactly, which apartment was hers. He had seen the lights through her curtains the night he had brought her home. Rey carefully put the box with her food aside and listened. The footsteps were fast-paced and halted directly in front of her door. She knew _exactly_ who stood in front of her door.

“ _Rey_.”

She flinched, his voice was muffled, but nonetheless deep and imperious even through the door. He gently knocked against the wood. He was standing right behind her door and he almost sounded pleading.  

“ _Rey, open the door. Please_.”

Rey carefully stood up from the couch and moved to her door on tiptoes. She stared at it, like it was going to jump out of its hinges at any second.

“ _Please. Open the door_.” The knocking died down and she heard a deep sigh. “ _Rey, I can see your feet behind the door. Please, we need to talk.”_

Horrified, she jumped back a few steps and back into the security of her living room. Maybe, just maybe, if she didn’t answer and ignored him, he would leave her alone. _Do you really want him to leave?_ The traitorous little voice inside her head whispered tauntingly.

“ _Rey_. _I promise you, I won’t yell, but we need to talk_.”

Slowly, pressed with her back to the wall so he wouldn’t see the shadow of her feet beneath the door again, she waited with pounding heart.

“ _Rey, please. Open the door_.”

She wasn’t ready to look at him and Rey knew he would be able to understand her, even through the door.

“What do you want, Professor?”

Her voice was hoarse from crying and her throat raw. Rey tried to sound not as pathetic as she felt right now.

 “ _I want to talk, Rey. What I said this morning, I went beyond what was decent. Can you please open the door now?_ ”

Professor Ren was calm. Calmer than usual, there was no underlying aggressiveness in his voice. He huffed out a deep breath.

“ _Rey, I’ve been an asshole this morning. I should have never said those things in my office. I know this is highly unprofessional and if you want to report me to the dean, I won’t deny any accusations. But, before you do, please let me in and let us talk_.”

Rey was almost sure that she didn’t have any tears left to cry after this day, but she was wrong. Another fresh tear rolled down her cheek and she angrily wiped it away.

“Just leave, Professor.”

“ _You have every right to be angry with me. You can kick me out as soon as I’m done, but give me a chance to explain_.”

She didn’t want to argue anymore, she just didn’t have the strength for that tonight. The constant ‘ _do’_ or ‘ _don’t’_ was tiring for her. She turned the key and unlocked her door.

The dim light from the staircase didn’t do much to hide her swollen, blood-shot eyes from him and Rey had to blink a few times against the light. She only opened the door a bit, so she could see him clearly.

His black hair was disheveled and he looked tired, but it was the dark blue jeans that surprised Rey. She had never seen him in anything but his expansive suits.

“Can I come in?”

“There’s a condition.”

His brows shot up in surprise, but he didn’t protest. “Name it.”

“You will not insult me, or my apartment.”

He held up his hands. “I won’t.”

 

It was truly a mismatched sight to Rey. Even in the casual clothes professor Ren wore, he looked misplaced in her tiny apartment. The jeans he wore fit perfect and clung to his long legs. Now, Rey could see that his legs were just as strong as the rest of him. The black pullover he wore looked soft and warm and underlined the thickness of his upper body. She silently closed the door behind him and lead them into the living room. She felt a little better in there instead of the tiny hallway, less crowded by him. In the dim light of her living room, he looked imposing. Tall, broad and dark, he towered easily above her. He looked around, took in the lilac curtains and his eyes narrowed when he saw the long gashes in her couch. He picked up the tiny lunchbox with her food in it, scrunching his nose.

“Is this all you ate today?”

_It was_. Rey grabbed the box out of his hand and put it onto the empty book shelf. His eyes were so intense, while he slowly took in her appearance from head to toe. She was only dressed in lose grey yoga pants and a white cotton shirt. She didn’t even wear a bralette or tank top beneath it. Trying to shield herself from his piercing gaze, Rey folded her arms across her chest.

“What do you want, Professor Ren?”

“Can I?”

He shrugged his coat off and motioned towards her couch with his head. Wordlessly she nodded and watched, while he placed his neatly folded coat over the armrest.  

“You have every right to be angry with me, Rey. What I said this morning and what I _made_ you say, that was past every professional line. I swear to you, that will never happen again.” He rubbed the freshly healed knuckles of his hand absentmindedly. “I handled you like a caveman, I want to apologize for that, too.”

“That wasn’t what hurt the most, Professor.”

He swallowed thickly, his Adams apple bobbed and her eyes were drawn to his neck. It was strong and had a dark shadow of a beard just above his Adam’s apple.

“I know. I was angry, which is in no way an excuse for the way I spoke to you. You’re not image, Rey. Not to me.” He made a small step towards her. “I should have handled the situation differently.”

Rey hugged herself tighter. She felt like she sat in an emotional rollercoaster. She went from a stomach-dropping low into dizzying highs. He was closer to her and was now towering above her.

“I don’t want to punish you, Rey.” He murmured, his deep voice soft, like the night when he had saved her from Stanley. “Most importantly, I never want you to feel obliged to sell your body in return for something with me.”

“Johanna did.”

She whispered hollow, looking to the ground. Professor Ren huffed and shook his head. Then he did something utterly unexpected. He gently pried her fingers from her arms and lowered her hands to her sides.

“Rey, look at me. I _never_ touched Johanna.”

His eyes searched her face and Rey felt like her lungs were too tight to stall air any longer. The way his eyes lingered on her lips, made her skin tingle and then she processed what he had just said.

“You-, but Johanna said…,”

He cut her off quickly. “Whatever she said, she _lied_. She tried to seduce me, several times, but every time she did, I sent her away. You’re _nothing_ like her, Rey.”

She swallowed thickly, looking up at him. “You never-,”

He shook his head. “Never.”

“Oh my God, I-,”

Dizziness overcame Rey and she had the sudden urge to sit down. She was horrified at herself for even thinking that he expected something in return for saving her from Stanley. She had… God, she had _utterly_ insulted him! Oh, how badly Rey wanted to slap herself at this moment. She had absolutely misjudged him and this whole situation. He had protected her in so many ways and what did she do in return? She had accused him.  His hands shot forward and he took her by her upper arms like he had this morning, but now he was heartbreakingly gentle.

“I never expected anything in return from you, Rey. I’m not nearly as bad as people think about me.” There was the faintest touch of amusement in his voice. “I should have made that clear this morning, Rey. You were in panic and afraid and I acted like a complete dick. I’m sorry.”

Rey fell backwards onto her couch, her legs felt like jelly. She understood so much nor, yet a thousand more questions popped up in her mind. Her head felt like a thousand pounds heavier.

“Why did you, then?”

He stayed where he was, but she felt so much closer to him, while he finally murmured the answer she had waiting for and secretly, hoped for.

“I did it for you. I wanted to make sure that Stanley exactly knew what would happen to him, if he ever lays his hands on you again.”

 

Rey’s skin was too tight. She couldn’t breathe anymore, there wasn’t enough oxygen in the room, when professor Ren was this close to her. He had done it for her. To protect her.

“I don’t understand...”

Rey tensed when his steps came closer and then he was directly in front of her. He looked down at her with such intensity, it sent a shiver down her spine.

“He _hurt_ you. I wanted to protect you, but I never considered that I can’t be around to keep an eye on you all the time.”

“I know, my safety is your responsibility. I understand.”

He growled softly and gently cupped her chin, tilting her head back so she had to look at him. His breathing was even, but his eyes _burned_. Her clothes were too tight, too much and it was constricting Rey.

“Rey,” he breathed and tucked a wayward curl behind her ear. “Your safety is my responsibility. Not as your professor, but as a _man_.”

“It shouldn’t be.” She whispered breathless.

“No, it shouldn’t.” He agreed, his voice just as low as hers. “But it is.”

No… _no_! She couldn’t do this. This was wrong, she was a fool to want this. Abruptly, Rey stood up and fled into her tiny kitchen. It wasn’t nearly as far as she should stay away from her professor, but it would suffice for the moment. He followed her into the tiny space of her kitchen. His presence inside the small room was suffocating, he was everywhere around her. Rey couldn’t escape him, no matter where she went. He was so close. Rey could feel his heat radiating through his clothes, his scent was in her nose. She only had to stretch out her hand and she could touch him. With a low, tortured moan he leaned down.

“Please-, we can’t… we shouldn’t.”

“I know.”

His arms caged her in, both of his hands grabbed a hold of the counter behind her. The split second his lips hovered above hers felt like eternity. _Breathe in. Breathe out_. _Just breathe_. Like a drowning man, his lips covered hers in a hungry, desperate kiss.

 

Kissing her felt like a high. It was a sensation, nothing could compare to. Rey’s lips still tasted of salt from the tears she had cried because of him, but _fuck_ , did she feel good. Rey was soft and pliant under his lips. She didn’t open her lips for him immediately, but Kylo had expected it. She wasn’t experienced, she wasn’t full frontal with him like his usual partners. Rey was timid and careful with this intimate gesture and it woke something utterly primal inside of him. It was animalistic, something possessive about her and her innocence. His head was swimming with her, his senses were drowned by her taste and her scent. The first second of their kiss she was rigid, like a small figurine made of stone and then, she _melted_. Kylo was naturally dominant it came to sex and intimacy, but with her, every cell in his body screamed at him to be gentle with her, or else he might scare her away. Carefully he urged her lips open and she made the most incredible sound, deep within her throat. It was a mixture between a gasp and a moan.

“Make that sound again, make it again for me.”

He growled, holding onto her waist before he pressed his lips against her once more. It felt right to hold her, it felt like a missing piece of him was no finally in place, where it belonged. Finally, he held her in his arms. Kylo thought he knew what pleasure and arousal was, but now he had to discover that he had had no idea what true longing felt like. He burned for her. Kylo wrenched his lips from hers long enough to give her a second to breathe and for him to grab her thighs to lift Rey onto the counter. She weighed nothing under his hands. She gasped and wound her arms around his neck. _Yes_ , he thought, _hold onto me Rey. Learn to lean on me, when you need it._ Her cheeks had the prettiest shade of pink and her eyes were hooded with lust.

He pushed her thighs apart, made room for his hips between them and laid claim to this spot. This was _his_. His hands grabbed her thighs and held them close around his waist, while his mouth descended on hers once more.

This time, Rey gave in instantly. She moaned into the kiss when his hands tightened on her thighs. Something inside of him purred with satisfaction at the thought of her remembering his hands on her body tomorrow. Her hands grasped strands of his hair and, _oh_ , did he enjoy the small sting when she tugged on it. Kylo’s cock was rock-hard, his body screamed to make her his. He wanted nothing more than to bring her to bed and do all sorts of lewd things to her, that a professor shouldn’t even think about doing with a student. But he couldn’t. Not tonight, at least. He wanted to do so much more, he wanted to see her come, but she wasn’t ready yet. With a groan of frustration, he let go of her lips and pulled back to look at her face. He brushed his nose against hers in a feral way of adoration.

“Tell me to leave, Rey. Tell me to leave, now. I don’t know how much longer I can control myself. If you ask me to stay, I will take you tonight.”

He knew his honesty would shock her, maybe even scare her, but she needed to know. She licked her swollen lips and he almost forgot himself. He was barely hanging on. She was disorientated and still dazed, but she managed to detangle her fingers from his hair and slid from the counter. She was shaking from head to toe.

“Leave… _please_.”

Kylo wasn’t offended by her request, but it was hard to put a leash on himself and to let go of her warm body. Kylo hurried into her small living room and grabbed his coat. She was already by the door and was busy to unlock it with trembling hands. Kylo couldn’t help it, but he had to look at her one last time.

Rey’s cheeks were flushed and that beautiful color spread down her neck. He saw the hard tips of her nipples poking through her white shirt and he almost came in his pants then and there just thinking about sucking on her raspberry nipples. Rey pressed her thighs together and he knew she was wet. _Fuck_ , he needed to leave _now_. Kylo couldn’t help it, when he was close enough he quickly leaned down and greedily stole another kiss from her, before he rushed out of the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, this is it… it happened. I know… I can’t believe it either, but here we are. I want to thank you all soooo much for supporting me and this Story! <3 Honestly, you're all the best. <3 You know the drill, leave me a comment and tell me what you think, a kudo and subscribe so you can hop onto this wild and crazy ride. ;) 
> 
> Love ya all!! <3 XoXo Alessandra
> 
> I feel like I need to explain a few things beforehand and I would really ask of you to read another long ass AN. 
> 
> I want to address several things, my decision to move on with this chapter the way I did, because I still feel like it was hurried and I somehow have the feeling it was too soon. 
> 
> Many of you don’t like the way Kylo led his life before he met Rey. Well, Kylo is a single man and he has a moved past. I already gave you some hints, but we’ll dive deeper into his past the coming chapters. The way Kylo leads his life is a coping mechanism. He drinks, he has sex with no feelings attached, etc. He suppresses his experiences with pleasures, he ignores his problems and drowns them with something else instead of being confronted with it. 
> 
> Why was he so angry with Rey? Well, you can of course build your own image and view on this. In my mind, Kylo reacted this way because he was in some way rejected. As we all know, he’s not good with rejection and he answers it with anger and rage. We already saw it with Han. Kylo tried to protect Rey in his own way, the only way he knows. Manipulating and exerting control over the situation. He did it for her. He not one thought about Rey’s perspective about the situation and felt like she rejected his protection, especially after she yelled at him like that. 
> 
> Why did Rey react the way she did and wasn’t happy about it? Well, she comes from a very dangerous background. We will come to why exactly she thinks the way she thinks and why she acts according to it. It’s easy. Stanley and Kylo obviously have a background and Rey isn’t stupid. She knows Stanley will connect the attack on him with Kylo and her. She’s without protection and just like she said, words cannot protect her from bodily harm. 
> 
> Why the small time jump? That’s simple. I needed the story to move forward and these two, they give me a tough time, you guys. Two weeks can be long when there’s unresolved tension between two individuals. It can come to an explosive climax and these two have so much of that tension, it could have been a bad grade or a grumpy Rey for Kylo going overboard like he did.


	7. Collision

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day after the kiss. An intervention amongst Rey's Friends and Problems at the horizon. Oh, Johanna finally gets what she deserves. ;)

_Basic Need_  
Chapter 7  
Collision

When Rey left Jakku, she made sure that her movement across several states and an ocean was untraceable. She cut all her ties to her former life in Jakku for good. Rey made a pact with herself, a strict one. No parties, no excessive drinking games and and above all, no photos of her on any social platform. Poe, Finn and Rose had to ‘pinky swear’ to never post a photo of her. Just in case, she had also cut her name on the door panel down to a short Rey D.

Rey swore she would leave her old life in Jakku behind and in the past, where it belonged. Yet, despite her best affords to forget her past, the hard reality was – she couldn’t. It haunted her, followed her everywhere and wouldn’t leave her alone, like a ghost. If she didn’t dream, she tossed and turned during the night, her light sleep never really allowed her to rest thoroughly. She never slept well in Jakku. Every foster home was worse than the one before and soon, the little girl she was back then, was too scared to close her eyes in the night. Even though she finally had an apartment for herself, her sleep was always restless. She tossed and turned in her bed at night and she woke with a start, breathing heavily every time she heard a loud sound in the building. Which wasn’t that hard to do, through walls that were as thin as paper.

The night professor Ren kissed her was different. After he left, she fell into a deep, black and dreamless slumber. The first thing Rey noticed the morning after, was that his scent was _everywhere_. It clung to her clothes and to her skin, it was in her sheets and on her pillow.

Her lips were still swollen from his kiss, her skin tingled where his hands had touched her. Rey on the other hand still remembered the feeling of his warm muscles beneath her fingers, the way he tensed when she touched him or the way his hair felt like between her fingertips. Like cold, smooth silk between her fingers.

Even though professor Ren was a constant emotional turmoil for her and always on her mind, there were far more pressing matters at hand. The next morning on her way to UHC, Rey quickly texted Rose and told her that she was alright and that she would talk to Finn during the break between her lectures. She also called Poe and explained to him, that she forgot an essay for a class and spent the rest of the day in the library. Throughout, she felt _horrible_.

During her first year, she had heard all sorts of scary stories about professor Ren and his horrible, nearly impossible to pass tests and… his volatile temper. Every story she heard about him proved to be true and yet, he had protected her from Stanley, had protected her Johanna and had _kissed_ her.

It wasn’t like she was an unwilling participant, not like that time with Stanley. No, she was all in. She had willingly let him between her legs, had opened her mouth for him and even took the liberty to get to know his body with her own fingertips. Was the kiss a mistake? Absolutely. Did she regret it? Not one bit.

When Rey entered the auditorium, she still felt detached from her body. She had been absent the whole way to class, her mind was still too occupied by professor Ren and his kiss.

Inside the auditorium, not the one where professor Ren usually held his lectures, Rey took a seat. Professor Connix was her English professor and Rey was not nearly as busy with professor Connix’s lectures as she was with professor Ren’s. Professor Connix was friendly and her lectures were good, Rey always enjoyed them and could keep up with quiet well.

 

While Rey was busy unpacking her new books and laptop, which had luckily survived the fall in the bus without damage, she barely took notice of the student next to her, taking the free seat. Rey didn’t pay it any further attention, since she generally didn’t care about the other students inside the auditorium. Most of them didn’t care about her, or thought she was garbage either way. It wasn’t until the person next to her cleared his throat and spoke.

“Hey, you’re Rey, right? One of the scholars?”

Looking up, she studied the student sitting next to her. She knew him, he was a regular in professor Connix class and usually sat in the back of the auditorium. So, what was he doing in the front, specifically next to her?

Rey didn’t have time for gossip and she didn’t care about rumors, but she certainly knew that many of the girls in class had the hots for him. He was good looking, with his slim but muscular physique, the dirty blond hair that was curled at the ends and his sky-blue eyes. His face was all sharp angles and cut edges, that fitted into some designer magazines to promote expensive clothing or perfume, rather than college.

She just nodded, giving him a quiet “Yes”, before she directed her attention back to the book, pretending to be very busy with reading the page in front of her. He cleared his throat, trying it once more.

“I didn’t mean to be rude. I mean, that you are a scholar, is-,”

Rey knew about the many possibilities to insult her just because she had a scholar and she was honestly not in the mood of hearing another one today. She threw her pen to the side and turned towards him, with an angry scowl on her face.

“Yeah, I know, I’m a scholar and I shouldn’t even sit in this class, I get it. If you’re so disgusted by it, take another seat, alright?”

He gawked at her, shocked by her sudden outburst. “Whoa, slow down! I didn’t mean it like that, okay? I think it’s cool you’re here on a scholar.”

Just like that, Rey’s anger disappeared into thin air. “You do?”

“Absolutely! I have to pay back about one-hundred-thousand dollars student loans later and you don’t! Besides that, to get a scholar you have to be super clever.”

Now it was Rey who probably looked like she had seen a flying saucer. The fact that someone congratulated her for getting a scholarship, was something new. Great, another person she accused wrongly within forty-eight hours. She was on a roll.

He quickly thrust his hand forward, clearing the air between them from awkward, tense silence to something a little lighter.

“I’m Darian.” He cleared his throat, turning in the seat so he was directly looking at her without craning his neck anymore. “Listen, I’m kind of- well, I’m kind of failing this semester. I fell behind these past few weeks and I need help to catch up. I talked to professor Connix and she told me to ask you.”

“Why would she say that?”

Darian nodded. “Why wouldn’t she? You’re at the top of the class with your scores. Don’t you ever talk to other students in the class?”

No, she didn’t talk to anyone besides Finn and professor Ren at UHC. Why bother? She shrugged, trying to act as nonchalant as possible.

“I just don’t like comparing scores.”

“Oh, that’s cool! You’re doing your own thing and you don’t care about being better than others. That’s actually…,” he stopped, his eyes lingered on her face for a split second. “That’s really cool. So, would you help me? I would pay you a few bucks for a private lesson, or two. You would really save my ass.”

Rey had contemplated the idea of giving private lessons before. According to Finn, she was good at explaining things and she never lost patience with someone. Besides that, she could really use the money.  So, like the sensible person she was, she did the only thing that came to mind that moment. She agreed.

“Sure, why not.”

Darian looked thrilled and looked like he was about to explode with it, when Professor Connix entered the auditorium and ultimately cut off the conversation between them.

She was an engaged student, she really was. Rey never went into classes half-heartedly, knowing that her grades were the rise and downfall of her scholarship. Laziness was a luxury she couldn’t afford. But, today she simply couldn’t concentrate. No matter how hard she tried to focus on the lecture and professor Connix, she couldn’t. The dawning lecture with professor Ren was everything she actually _could_ concentrate on.

After sixty minutes of zero notes for the lecture, Rey gave up and simply stared at the board. Knowing that she was only an hour away from seeing him again, after their forbidden kiss sent her heart razing in her chest.

The rest of the lecture went by in a blur and before Rey even realized it, students around her gathered their things and stood up.

“Rey, hey- Rey?”

Snapping out of her trance, Rey looked around and saw that almost every student had left the auditorium, except Darian and her.

“Huh? What-?”

“You really like this class, huh?”

Darian chuckled, musing over her presumed love for English. Rey, now on her feet, quickly stuffed her things into her bag. Darian followed her on her way outside, cheerly talking beside her.

“So, about the private lessons. Do you think you could manage one or two? I could swing by your apartment later and we could make a date-,”

Rey came to a screeching halt and he almost collided with back at her sudden stop. Her apartment? No, _absolutely not_. She never allowed strangers into her apartment. It had taken Finn four months to finally convince her to give him her address.

“No!”

He looked at her, bewildered at her sudden outburst. Darian probably thought that she was utterly crazy.

“I mean, I didn’t really clean this weekend and my place is a mess. Just come to my work later. I’m working at the _Big Easy_. My shift ends at five.”

“Great!”

Before Rey could react or do something against it, Darian had his arms wrapped around her and gave her quick, but tight hug.

“Rey, you’re literally saving my ass!”

She patted his shoulder awkwardly, while she was all too aware of the fact that they were in the middle of the entry way of the main building and people were starring at them. Rey cleared her throat, trying to get out of the hug.

“That’s really-, Darian, that’s okay, honestly.”

Darian sat her back down on her feet and gave her a thousand-watt smile. “Do you have somewhere to go now? I’m free and I would really like to buy you a cup of coffee or tea-,”

Above Darian’s shoulder, Rey spotted a familiar face. Finn was looking at his phone, while he made his way towards the exit. It was a wonder he didn’t run into any student, while he was avidly typing something on his phone. Rey had never been so thankful for anything, like she was at this moment for spotting Finn.

“Darian, we’ll talk later, alright? I’ve got to catch up with my friend. See you later!”

 

 

“Finn!”

Rey called out to her friend and Finn turned around, looking for her in the crowd of students around him. His eyes lit up and a look of pure relief on his face.

“Rey!”

Finn jogged to her and pulled her into a bear-hug and lifted her off her feet. When he finally let go of her and Rey was back on her feet, he took hold of her shoulders and shook her like he wanted to shake some sense back into her.

“Where the hell have you been? Why didn’t you text me back yesterday? I was so worried! I drove to your apartment and you weren’t there, then Poe said you didn’t answer any of his calls-,”

“Finn-, _Finn_!” Rey cut off the sheer never ending flood of words from her friend’s mouth. “Breathe.”

Finn gave her a reproachful look, before he took a deep breath. “There, I breathed. Happy?”

“I’m sorry, Finn. I forgot an essay for my class and I had to go to the library. I left my phone at my apartment and when I got back home, it was already late.”

Finn gave her a questioning look. “And you’re really okay?”

The word ‘ _worried’_ was printed in bright red across Finn’s forehead, while he eyed her suspiciously. His trademark forehead wrinkle was giving him away.

“I’m fine. I was just shocked, that’s all. I’m sorry for making you and the others worry so much.”

This time, it was Rey who initiated a hug. “Thank you, Finn.”

She felt his laughter vibrate through his chest beneath her cheek, while his hands rubbed her back.

“For what?”

Rey closed her eyes, simply enjoying the comfort of the moment.

“For being an amazing friend.”

 

Kylo opened the door to his office and the heel of his Ferragamo connected with the door, closing it behind him. As soon as he smelled the overpowering stench of perfume that reeked of vanilla, he knew what, or rather _who_ , was waiting for him already. With an irritated sigh, he lifted his head and looked at Johanna. She sat on his desk, legs crossed and her blouse unbuttoned down to her belly button, revealing a black lace bra.

“Miss Gill, please put your clothes back on and get the hell out of my office.”

She pouted with her full lips and lasciviously leaned back, thrusting her chest out, so her breasts strained against the lace of her bra.

“Professor Ren, you didn’t finish the last time we were in your office.”

She uncrossed her legs and gave him a pretty good view on the matching pair of panties she wore.

“You sent me away before I could actually put my mouth to good use.”

A seductive smile stretched her plump lips, while she gave him a head to toe inspection. If Kylo wouldn’t have been the grown man he was, he would have felt violated by her lecherous gaze. He walked around his desk, not sparing her a second glance.

“Johanna, I’ll give you three seconds to get dressed and out of my office, before I call the security.”

Johanna jumped from his desk, blouse still open and eyes narrowed to small slits. If she was perplexed before, she was furious _now_. In complete anger, Johanna stared at him while she buttoned her blouse back up.

“Are you serious now?”

“Dead serious.”

Kylo shrugged off his coat and folded it. Patience was not one of his virtues and he had been patient enough with this student. Kylo had tossed and turned in his bed the whole night, while he still tasted Rey on his tongue and felt her body beneath his fingers.

“Get out of my office, Johanna. Don’t make me report you to the dean and trust me, this time your family name won’t save you.”

 

“She’s a nobody! She comes from a fucking desert and she doesn’t belong here!” Johanna screamed furiously, pulling on her jacket. “Half of Hanna belongs to my parents and you would rather fuck her?”

Kylo pinched the bridge of his nose. What was it about his office that made women want to scream at him?

“I have no idea what you are talking about, Johanna. I would very much appreciate it, if you leave me office now.”

Johanna slammed the door shut behind her and finally, he was alone in his office.

Kylo’s decision fell within a second, after Johanna had left his office. He had had enough of her childish behavior, her lazy attitude in his class and her non-existent effort to even try passing his tests with an acceptable grade. Besides the educational reasons he wanted to get rid of her, he certainly didn’t need new lies spun by Johanna floating around. Kylo reached for his phone and almost immediately, Penelope answered.

“Penelope, could you please remove the name Johanna Gill from my class list? Yes, please-, I will file the necessary protocol. Of course, thank you.”

With a final key stroke from him, he sent a complaint about Johanna to the dean and ultimately suspended her from his classes. A feeling of relief washed over him. It wasn’t unusual for a professor to suspend a student from a class for several reasons like laziness or simply lack of attendance to the lectures. The filed complaint against Johanna was enough justification from his side towards the dean.

Now, in the seclusion of his office and alone with his thoughts, he had the time to _think_. He crossed a line last night. A line that he had sworn to never cross. Years of teaching, year after year of gorgeous, young and naïve students in his office and not once had Kylo entertained the thought of starting an affair with one. Of course, apart from the fact that he signed a contract with the college, that he was not allowed to engage with a student on a personal level. But, Rey wasn’t an affair. She was so much more. That one single kiss changed everything. His every breath, his very being was drawn to her. He- _they_ needed to talk.

They needed a plan and… who was he kidding? In the past, had a plan where it concerned her. He had planned to stay away from Rey, to keep his distance and be professional around her. He would evaluate her like every other student and then, when Meyer would come back, never see her again. Yes, he had had a plan. Too bad it went flying out the window. Yes, Kylo truly needed to work on his planning skills, since they seemed to be absolute shit.

He needed time to sort his feelings and to get clear about a few certain things. One of those things was the future with Rey and how they would go on from here. He knew he had signed a contract, it was the only right thing to do to leave her alone, to get his raging desire for her under control and forget about everything. But, who was he kidding? Now, that he got a first taste of her, he _wanted_ more.

It broke his heart to leave her apartment and it took every single ounce of will power to leave her. Kylo knew, if he had stayed, he would have fucked her. Right there in her tiny apartment, but he wouldn’t. The first time he would take her, would be somewhere nice and comfortable and it certainly wouldn’t be the cramped-up space of her tiny kitchen. He wanted to do this the right way. He had never done things in the right order, especially when it came to women, but Rey was so much more than a short fling. He would try his damn best to not fuck this up. He would give her everything. Flowers, candles, the whole fucking chart of romantic things he never bothered to hack down. Rey deserved it. She deserved it all and he would give that to her.

Kylo needed to know what she was thinking. He needed to know that she wasn’t scared of him, or of his touch. There was still a great possibility that she would send him to hell, or better, with a personal complaint about him to the dean’s office.

Kylo stood and swept the necessary documents for his first lecture into his hands, before he made his way to the auditorium. Kylo saw her immediately. Rey was in her usual spot, but her nose wasn’t buried in her book like it usually was. No, she was looking directly at him. Her hazel-green eyes followed him to his desk and studied his every move, while he shrugged off his coat. Johanna’s gave him a nasty look and pursed her lips. _Oh, sweet revenge_. Kylo rose to his full height and looked at his former student.

 “Miss Gill.”

The auditorium went dead-silent. All eyes were on Johanna, who was looking at him confused. Her voice was sickly sweet and feigned absolute innocence.

“Yes, Professor Ren?”

Kylo grabbed the official notice for Johanna from the stack of papers from his desk and handed it to her. Her eyes grew wide while she read it.

“You are officially suspended from my lectures.”

Rey’s head snapped up and a loud murmur went through the rows of seats. Johanna’s jaw literally hit the top of her table, while the whispers turned into laughter’s. Johanna looked to the side, hoping for support from her air-headed friend. The girl didn’t even bother to look up and inspecting her manicured fingernails, acting like she didn’t hear a thing.

 

Johanna cleared her throat and shifted around on her chair, embarrassed to the bone. “Professor, I don’t understand-,”

“Did I stutter, Miss Gill?”

His cold reply fell on deaf ears, when she rose and held the notice up. “Professor Ren, this has to be a mistake!”

He turned around and walked back to his desk. “Miss Gill, it is no mistake, since it was I who officially expelled you from my lectures this morning.” He motioned towards the door. “If you would _finally_ leave us, I can begin with my lecture. I have wasted enough time with you.”

“Professor Ren, I don’t see any reason for my suspension!”

“My reasoning, Miss Gill, is fairly easy. You are lazy, uninterested and arrogant. You are unwilling to work for better grades and you show no progress whatsoever. Your grades, to be frank, have been a disaster from day one and if fellow students reach a higher score than you, you have nothing better to do, but to insult and spread rumors about them. You had the audacity to accuse another student who is working hard to keep her grades up, of sleeping with her teachers. That goes against every codex this college has about integrity and solidarity, just to name a few examples.”

With a furious cry, she grabbed her things and rushed down the aisle, kicking bags from other students to the side in her wake. She slammed the door shut behind her. Every student inside the auditorium stared at the closed door in disbelief, still comprehending what had just happened. Kylo cleared his throat and grabbed his book.

“Let’s start.”

 

The _Big Easy_ was mostly empty when Finn walked in. He knew Rey was sitting in a lecture with professor Ren at the moment and wouldn’t be at work for the next two hours. That was plenty of time to talk to Poe. He was behind the counter, cleaning the top with a white cloth, when he noticed Finn. With a large smile, he tossed the rag aside and walked around the counter. They shared their usual ‘man-hug’, as Poe liked to entitle it, before Poe rolled up the sleeve of his shirt to look at his watch.

“You know, when I said meet me at nine, I didn’t mean nine in the morning.”

Poe said jokingly, while he placed a cup under the coffee machine. Finn shrugged his jacket off and sat down by one of the high chairs at the counter.

“I know, but there’s something that I need to talk to you about.”

“Okay?” Poe sat down the cup of steaming hot coffee and leaned against the counter casually. “Something wrong with you and Rose?”

Finn shook his head. “No, that’s not it. We’re fine, but-, I don’t even know how to explain this.” He took a deep breath. “I think something is wrong with Rey.”

“Did something happen?”

God, he hated this. Why did it felt like a betrayal talking to Poe? He was worried about Rey, she was his best friend and Finn was, next to Poe and Rose, the only person in Hanna that cared about her.

“Did she talk to you about yesterday?”

Poe nodded and looked at him suspiciously. “She called this morning, she simply forgot an essay and had to work on it. Why?”

“She told me the same. She also told me she was in the library the whole evening.”

Poe, who had picked up the rag to wipe the counter, stopped his movements and arched his brows in confusion. “And? Is there a problem?”

“Actually, there is.” Finn gave Poe his mobile. “ _This_ is the problem.”

“Finn, I don’t know what-,” He paused, looking down at the mobile in his hand. His eyes flittered from left to right over the screen. “But-, that means…”

“She lied, Poe. The library was closed yesterday.”

Finn had shown Poe a news article about a water-pipe-rupture inside the library and that it was closed until the end of the week. Just like it had been closed yesterday and if Rey didn’t have a personal key for the doors, there was no way she could have been there.

“Why would she lie, Finn? That’s so unlike her.”

Finn could only shrug at Poe’s question. Rey was a very private person, he knew that. She didn’t share much with him, or her other friends. Even though they knew each other for over a year now, Finn always had the feeling like there was a wall around her and Rey allowed no one past it. It has always been that way and Finn didn’t know if she would ever completely open about her past. If she didn’t want to talk about something, she was always straight forward about it, usually cutting someone off in the middle of their question, but lying? That was totally out of character for her.

“Something is wrong with her, Poe. She is completely stressed out, irritable and absentminded. When she sees me during lectures, she practically flees for the next exit. She avoids me, hides in the library between lectures. She doesn’t text anymore, she isn’t calling anymore.”

“And Rose?”

Finn just shrugged. “I asked her about it and she said Rey hasn’t talked to her in three weeks. Three weeks, Poe. Three days, that’s typically normal for her, but three weeks? I know Rey better than anyone, no offense, buddy. Then I realized something this morning.”

“And what would that be?”

A muscle ticked in Poe’s jaw. “And what would that be?”

“Do you ever hear her talking about Jakku and about what happened to her there?”

No, Poe never heard Rey talking about her life before Hanna. “I know about her leg and that she broke it when she was younger, but that’s about everything I know about it.”

It wasn’t like she could keep her injured leg a secret the way she was limping on bad days. But everything apart from her leg and that she was a foster kid, remained secret.

“Did she tell you that some pig tried to rape her after a catering job a few weeks ago?”

Poe nodded, pressing the heels of his hands into his temples. “Yeah, she told me about that.”

Finn was getting nauseous only thinking about the possibility. “What if she was-,”

Poe’s eyes grew wide and he threw his arms up, stopping him mid-sentence. “No! God, Finn, no! She wasn’t- wait, didn’t she tell you?”

Now it was Finn who was clueless. “Poe, I feel like we’re going in circles. What do you mean?”

“Finn, she wasn’t raped that night. Her professor was there and pulled the asshole off her.”

Finn’s jaw hit the countertop. “What?!”

 

Rey was still in a state of shock, when professor Ren finished his lecture. Rey was one of the last students to walk past professor Ren and his desk and Johanna’s suspension was gossip topic number one around her. Rey’s eyes met his smoldering orbs, that held the same burning intensity as last night.

“Miss Doe.”

His voice was silent, void of any anger and aggression. It was leveled and smooth, his deep timbre lulled her in and calmed her down.

“Do you mind accompanying me to my office? There is something about your scholar we need to talk about.”

Rey cleared her throat, remembering her capability of intelligent speech. “Of course, Professor.”

Her heart was pounding in her chest all the way to his office and stopped beating, when he opened the door for her, motioning for her to enter. She gave him a questioning look and he simply nodded, telling her that it was alright. She took a deep breath and made the step. She jumped into cold water and fell into unknown territory and even though she was scared to death, she knew he was there to catch her.  

“You don’t really want to talk about my scholar, do you?”

He shook his head, his dark hair shining in the light. “No.”

Rey recognized the inner turmoil in his eyes, the same doubts were wagering inside of her. The guilt, the uncertainty and the fear that accompanied their forbidden actions, she saw it all within his dark eyes and the grim line of his lips.

“We need to talk, Rey. About what happened last night.”

Here in the seclusion of his office, where the kiss was their secret, here she was brave. “Do you regret it, professor?”

His brows shot up, either taken off guard by her boldness, or surprised by it. “Regret it?” He asked, baffled at her choice of words. “Do I regret it?”

A dark shadow fell over his face, his brows drew together and his eyes started to glow dangerously. The way he was in front of her in a blink had something predatory and his large body surrounded her. His scent hit her and she was back in her apartment, back in her tiny kitchen, where his hands burned through her pants and his lips branded hers.

With a deliberate tug on her jacket, she was pulled into his chest. Her bag fell to the floor with a dull thud.

“Do I regret kissing you?” He stared at her lips and he shook his head. “No, but I _should_. I should regret it and I should keep my distance from you. My _student_.”

Rey couldn’t think, he was so close and so warm, the smell his aftershave was all around her. Warm, strong fingers gently wrapped around her chin and tilted her head back, so that she had to look at him. He caressed her chin with his thumb so sweetly and so gentle and Rey wanted nothing more but to rest her cheek in his palm.

“I don’t regret kissing you, Rey. Do _you_ regret it?”

 Did she? There were so many conflicting feelings inside of her, but regret wasn’t one of them.

“I’m confused, but I don’t regret it.”

His breathing was deep and even, but his pupils were blown wide while professor Ren stared at her lips, like he was in trance. It sent a hot bolt of liquid fire right between her thighs. He closed his eyes in anguish, like their sheer closeness made him endure the greatest agony imaginable.

“God… Rey, I wanted to take this slow-,” He groaned and rested his forehead against hers. “I wanted to do this the right way, but you make it so _hard_ for me.”

“Professor…”

“No,” he murmured against her cheek. “Kylo. Call me Kylo, please.”

“Kylo.”

She tested his name on her lips, became familiar with his name. It tasted strange on her lips, but it felt right.  

She tried it once more. “Kylo…”

He wrapped his arms tightly around her waist and lowered his head, to close the gap between them. He swallowed her protest and stole her breath with his kiss. This time, Rey didn’t hesitate and simply surrendered to him.

 

Kylo had sworn to take it slow and to do this the right way with her, but goddamn it, Rey made it so hard for him. She had bewitched him, her pink lips, her hazel-green eyes and her breathtaking beauty that always amazed him anew. This kiss was different. There was a sweet surrender in the way her lips opened for him so willingly and the way she her hands held onto him. This kiss was different, it was raw and hurried and wanton.

When her blunt nails dug into his scalp, he was done. Any and all still rationally functioning brain cells stopped working at once. With a growl, he grabbed her by the waist and hoisted her up. She gasped into the kiss when he lifted her up and turned around.

With a dull sound, her backside hit the top of his desk. He cursed their current location. They were in his office and the possibility of another student or fellow professor coming in without knocking was high. God, if he had her somewhere more private, he knew exactly what he would do to her.

She tore her mouth away from his, gasping desperately for air while her fingers tugged at his hair.

“Please, Kylo-,”

And that was it. The sweet plea falling from her lips sent his male instincts into overdrive. His blood rushed from his brain and directly into his cock. _Fuck_! His hands itched to tear off her clothes, so he could finally have her naked, wet and wanting in front of him… but he couldn’t. _Not here_.

“Rey, you have no idea what I want to do right now.”

It took every single ounce of will power to let go of her. Rey _growled_. She growled at him like an unhappy cat that was denied attention. He smirked, despite the painful erection in his pants that was as hard as stone and the all-consuming desire to fuck her right there and then, he would enjoy exploring this side of her further in the future. Kylo decided it was indeed fun to tease a little more, he wanted to feel her claws.

He grabbed her thighs tightly and with a jolt, he pulled her into his body, so that his hard cock was directly pressed to her covered center. Rey’s eyes grew wide and her swollen lips fell open in a silent moan. The sudden movement had sent her backwards and she resting half on her back and half on her elbows.

Kylo ground his hips into her middle and Rey fell back, her elbow giving out beneath her. She looked so fucking delicious, even though she was still wearing that horrible, patched up parka and there wasn’t a single stretch of skin visible for him. Her lips were red, swollen and glistening, her green eyes were consumed by the black of her pupils and her eyes were hooded, while she looked up at him.

“You feel this, Rey?”

To make his point clear, he gave her a light thrust, rubbing his rock-hard cock that was building a tent in the front of his trousers on her to relief some of the ache.

“I’m hard for you. I’ve been like this since yesterday. You have no idea how fucking hard it was to leave you. How it took every ounce of will-power I had, to not tear your clothes off to fuck you on the counter of your kitchen.”

Her breath hitched and she bit her lip, nodding vigorously. Kylo chuckled darkly, this was the Rey he had dreamed about, the woman he saw in his dreams almost every night and the woman, he unleashed inside of her last night with a single kiss. And she was all his now.

“You want it, sweet girl? Yes, you do.” He leaned down, so that he hovered above her, caging her between his arms. “I will give it to you, Rey. But, not here.”

He rose up and stepped back from between her legs. She reached for him and tried to pull him back between her spread thighs, but he rigorously shook his head.

“No, Rey. Not here.”

Opening her lips in protest, she sat up. “Kylo-,”

He put his palm over her mouth, effectively hushing her. “Dinner. You and I, tonight. I’ll pick you up at eight.”

 

The first thing Rey noticed was, that Poe avoided eye-contact with her and the second thing, that he also avoided talking to her altogether. Whenever they were behind the counter at the same time, he made up some abstruse apologies to leave her alone. Several times she had tried to ask him what was wrong, but the never-ending stream of customers that day always stopped her from doing so.

The customers kept her busy all afternoon and she managed to stay calm over the dinner with Kylo drawing nearer and nearer. They would go to dinner. It was something so normal, yet the image of him and her sitting in a restaurant like they weren’t professor and student was strange, scary and exciting.

It was only a minute or two after five and Rey was done with her shift, the door opened and Darian walked in. Rey realized, she had completely forgotten about him. He greeted her with a big smile and Rey quickly took her tips from the register, before she filled out her time-plate for Poe. Throughout this, she could feel Poe’s eyes burning into the back of her neck. Something was _definitely_ wrong with Poe today.

“Hey.” She pointed to a free table. “Sit down, I’ll be with you in a second. Do you want something to drink?”

Darian took out a five-dollar bill and pushed it over the counter. “A large coffee with milk and two sugar would be great. Thanks.”

She took the money and quickly got Darian’s coffee, before she hurried to the back of the _Big Easy_ , where the kitchen and an office was.

Poe was busy loading some fresh bread into the ovens, when she came in. He looked up and almost immediately turned away from her, suddenly very busy with setting the oven to the right temperature. Not one single word. Rey threw her apron aside and grabbed her bag from the floor where she usually left it, waiting for Poe to turn around or finally say something to her.

“Are you angry with me?”

“Ouch!” Poe jumped back from the old oven, shaking the hand he had just burnt on the metal. “Angry? I mean-, angry? Why would I be angry with you?”

Rey huffed and crossed her arms over her chest. “You haven’t said a single word to me today and you’re avoid me like I have a disease.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Rey. I’m not avoiding you.”

She threw her arms up and gave him the best ‘are you kidding me?’-look she could manage. “You are and don’t try to argue with me about it!”

Poe slammed the door of the oven shut and the force behind it, made the griddles inside rattle. Rey had seen Poe stressed, grumpy, cheery and exhausted, but she had never seen him so angry.

“Poe, why are you so angry with me?”

He snorted and gave her a bleak, hollow chuckle. “You know what, Rey? I thought we were friends. Sure, you’re working for me, but I never saw myself as ‘just’ your boss, you know? You think I’m angry with you? Guess what, I am!”

“But why? What did I do, Poe?”

He pointed at her accusingly. “Friends don’t _lie_ to each other, Rey! I took you in, gave you a job and let you stay with me, but still you deemed me so untrustworthy and lied to me.”

Rey was utterly confused now. When she called him this morning, explaining to him why she had to cancel her shift yesterday, he seemed to be fine with this. So, why was he so angry with her and how in the world would he know she lied?

“Is it about yesterday? I already told you, I’m sorry, but I-,”

Poe rolled with his dark eyes. “Yeah, I know. You were in the library, right?”

“I was! I told you, I forgot my essay-,”

“And you had to go to the library, right?” Poe gave her a hard look. “Too bad the library was closed yesterday.”

Rey froze. The library was closed? That meant…

“Poe-,”

He held up a hand, stopping her mid-sentence. “I don’t want to hear it, Rey. I’m not your friend, at least you don’t treat me like one. You lie to me instead of telling me the truth. That’s the worst thing you could do to me, you know?”

Poe brushed past her without another word and simply left her where she stood. Rey stared at the spot where he had been standing only mere seconds ago. All-consuming guilt spread throughout her body. Yes, what a great friend she was indeed.

 

It was five minutes before eight, when Kylo parked his Porsche in front of Rey’s apartment complex. He looked up at her window and saw the dim light behind her lilac curtains. Was she standing in front of a mirror right now, trying to figure out what to wear? Finally, _finally,_ the light was turned off behind the curtains.

Kylo couldn’t wait to see her and when she stepped into the dim light coming from a bulb dangling from the ceiling, his breath was taken away. She wore a simple black dress that was a little too wide for her lithe frame, but the sight of her slim calves and just the tiniest peek at her upper thighs, was the greatest reward he could ask for. Her shoes were simple and flat and a tiny silver necklace glittered around her swan-like neck. Her dark hair was open and fell in gentle waves around her shoulders.

Rey’s lips were shining in a gentle rose colored tone and her lashes were darker, just like her brows. _Heaven help him_. How in the world was he supposed to keep a straight thought tonight, or his hands to himself?

She made slow, careful steps to his car and Kylo got out, still at awe by her sight. When she was close enough, he walked around the car. The prettiest blush spread on her cheeks and she shyly smiled up at him.

“You look gorgeous. Can we?”

Rey followed his lead and slipped into the expensive leather seat, before he closed the door behind her. Kylo got behind the steering wheel and turned his head to look at her.

“Are you hungry?”

She bit her lower lip and with a silent groan, he prayed for enough self-control tonight, so he wouldn’t tear her clothes off even before they reached the restaurant.

“Starving.”

 

He watched through tinted windows, how she got into the expensive sports car. It drove right past him, and he got a look at her profile. She was smiling. The little bitch smiled at her sugar daddy that was driving a fifty-thousand-dollar car. He wondered why she was living in shithole like this, when her lover obviously had enough money to finance her a good, comfortable life.

His eyes took in the area, where she had managed to hide from him for almost two years. Now, he finally had her. The little rat had been hiding right under his nose and it had been a shit load of work to track her from Jakku to Hanna City.

She did a good job at hiding, really. She was a smart kid back then, she sure as hell got smarter by now. At least smart enough to grab herself a man, who was driving a sports  car and dressed in designer clothes from head to toe.

Rey was still limping, the leg she had broken so many years ago still gave her trouble and it was something he really didn’t mind. He had to pay for the whole damn procedure to stitch her back together, just because she had been too stupid to watch where she was going.

She hid her traces well, taking different busses, booking tickets under false names and a long flight across an ocean managed to wash away any trace of her. Rey was clever enough to stay away from social media accounts, her _friend_ certainly wasn’t. It was more coincidental than anything else when one of his dealers showed him the photo.

His hands tightened around the old steering wheel. Rey had been formidable at hiding from him, but no one stole from Unkar Plutt without repercussions. Rey Doe would pay the price for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, honestly I am so sorry for taking sooo long to update. I had a chapter finished, 18 pages of words and I hated it. I was editing it and with every word, I just felt like it was wrong and not good and not what I wanted for the story. Then, when I decided to delete the chapter, I had the worst case of writer’s block, but now I feel content with the chapter and I hope you all enjoyed it. 
> 
> I still feel a little rusty and I’m sorry if the lines seem a little ‘jerky’, I simply didn’t manage to do a better job with this chapter somehow. 
> 
> Yeah, I know, no sexy goodness, but trust me, that will follow.^^ Cliffhangers seem to be my thing as of lately. ;)
> 
> However, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, leave me a review and tell me what you think, give the story a kudo and subscribe. :)
> 
> I love you guys so much and I cannot even begin to express how much your continuous support means to me, you all are the most amazing readers I could ask for. 
> 
> Little side note: A reader remarked that my text blocks were too long, so I tried to split them up a little. Was it better to read and to understand in smaller blocks?
> 
> Another question asked: Is Snoke Johanna’s father. No, he isn’t. But, Snoke will be explained soon and how he will be a part of this story. 
> 
> Love you all, XoXo  
> Alessandra


	8. Table for Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo and Rey on a date, a waiter with a death wish… oh, there's a kiss and a dream. Reality is just around the Corner, sadly….

_Basic Need_  
Chapter 8   
Table for Two

 

Rey stood in front of her closet, helplessly looking at the meager selection of clothes hanging from self-made wire hangers. She didn’t have anything nice, she couldn’t afford nice. What was she supposed to wear? She surely would look ridiculous next to him, with his criminally soft hair and his luscious lips or his expensive clothes. Next to a man like Kylo Ren, Rey would always look like a joke. The lack of feminine curves had never bothered her before, at least before she met Kylo. He had turned her entire world upside down and had forced her to acknowledge all the things she felt so insecure about. Her lack of curves was just the beginning of a very long list. Rey sighed and tossed another fringy pullover over her shoulder. When was the last time she had worn that thing? Here she was, no clothes to wear to a date but owned a sweater she never wore? Well, if that wasn’t a paradox in itself.

She had two more hours left and she felt less prepared for this date than for her finals last year. Where would he take her? Some expensive place that perfectly fit Kylo and didn’t fit her at all?

Finally, after rummaging through the depths of her closet, she finally found the dress she had worn to the scholar ship party two years ago. It was a little dusty from lying on the floor so long, but a good shake would… Rey froze. She blinked a few times, looking at the simple, sleeveless black dress in her hands. It was a size small but next to her t-shirts and other clothes, it looked way too big. The lack of a scale in her apartment was usually nothing that Rey worried about, but now she was truly shocked. She couldn’t have lost so much weight within one and a half years that the dress would look like a sack of potatoes on her!

Rey couldn’t wear jeans and a shirt to her date with Kylo, but the dress would look surely look ridiculous on her now! She already saw him before her inner eye, dressed on point, while she would look like a yokel next to him. Rey briefly considered calling Rose, but the thought went out of the window as fast as it came. She couldn’t tell anyone about this, especially not Rose. Rose would run to Finn and sing like a whistleblower and tell him everything about Rey’s secret date. _Nope_. _Not a chance_.

She gave the dress one last poisonous glare, before she made her way to the shower. She could at least try to look a little decent. While she stood under the lukewarm stream of water, Rey pondered over the evening to come. Would Kylo think about her differently after? Would he start to see what a sad little thing she was compared to him, when he spent a little more time with her? Would her lack of perfect manners change his mind, or would he realize that deep down, she was just a little girl afraid of her own shadow? Rey didn’t really know if she wanted to find out.

Rey didn’t own that much make-up, she called a mascara, blush and eyebrow-pencil her own and usually, it sat in the cabin above her sink to gather dust. Looking at the cabin that Poe had repaired for her, drove a fresh wave of guilt though her.

Poe had been so hurt by her obvious lie that he hadn’t even tried to hide it after their argument in the kitchen. He hadn’t spoken a word to her afterwards. He also hadn’t answered her text this morning if she could have an additional shift over the weekend, which was absolutely unlike him. Rey knew she had hurt him, there was no excuse to make, she was rightfully the one to blame for the tense situation between her and her friends.

Rey exited her bathroom at half past eight and felt prepared to face her evening with Kylo. A coat of mascara on her lashes, softly curled hair and cheeks with a little blush to them never felt more like an armor than tonight.

She had managed to make the dress fit a little better by tying the fabric together on her back with two hair-ties, concealed by her summer coat. It wasn’t perfect, but it was enough for the time-being. She gave herself one last look and just hoped she could afford a better dress after her next catering job, so she wouldn’t look like she had fished for her clothes in the charity bin.

She caressed the thin black fabric of her coat. Ironically, she had worn the same coat the first time she had seen Kylo on campus.

_It was a sunny day and Rey and Finn, both relatively new at UHC, decided they needed fresh air. Badly. They were sitting next to the fountain and while Rey chewed on her apple, Finn was content with sipping his coffee. Rey, who tried to focus on the book in her lap, was distracted by movement close by. She looked up to see why so many students hurried away and then, she saw_ him _. He was a frightening sight to behold as he practically mowed through the students enjoying their break outside. A few students jumped aside to make way for the tall man. He was… awing. His height, the sheer size of his body and shoulders rather fight for a football field than a university campus was impressive, his face was different. His jawline was strong, he had a straight nose and those lips, Rey had never seen lips like that. Full and soft and a stark contrast to the rest of his sharp-contoured face. And those eyes… deep dark pools of simmering anger._

_He wore black suit that was without a doubt tailored for his broad body and his long legs carried him in a stomping march down the campus. Her apple forgotten, Rey stared after the man while he disappeared through the main doors._

_“Finn, who was_ that _?”_

_Finn looked after the man who had just disappeared through the doors into the main building. “That’s professor Ren. He’s a professor for literature and another subject, I’m not sure which one. Be thankful that you’ve got Meyer and not him and you better pray to God that you’ll never get him as a professor in the future.”_

_“Why? He looks…” Rey hesitated. Friendly certainly wasn’t the word she would have used to describe him._

_“He’s the worst, Rey.” Finn exclaimed furious. “He makes students cry! I’ve heard about a girl who had a panic attack during his lecture, because he was constantly yelling at her.”_

_Rey blanched. “He’s a professor, he can’t be that bad.”_

_Finn shuddered dramatically. “Trust me, from everything I’ve heard – he is. A friend of mine was in one of his courses and he said that within six weeks almost half the class dropped the subject.”_

_Well… okay. “I guess he is that bad.”_

_“Amen to that.” Finn said with a huff. “Let’s just pray you’ll never have to endure him.”_

 

Rey had learned to fear professor Ren over the first year of university, the stories told on campus about him were a good reminder to stay away from him. Seeing him in the halls of UHC, with the sheer superiority he radiated Rey really thought he would rather fit a crown and a throne than a desk and an auditorium. And what about her? She would rather fit a desert than his side.

What was she _doing_? There was no way this could work out between them. He was her professor for goodness sake and she was a student! The fact that professors were forbidden to entertain relationships to a student, even though they weren’t actually teaching them actively, was the biggest threat at hand. She was endangering her entire scholarship and his position as a professor… but there was this tiny, traitorous voice inside her head that was stoking hope inside of Rey. Hope, that maybe, just maybe he was the one. That Professor Kylo Ren could be the one to ultimately make her happy.

Rey’s stomach clenched in anxiety, when she saw familiar headlights turn around the corner. The black sports car parked directly before the entrance. Her prince had arrived. Rey decided that and if only for tonight, she would forget her fears and worries and be Cinderella.

 

Kylo had thought about the question where he would take Rey tonight, longer than he was comfortable admitting. At first, he chose his favorite restaurant, a high-cuisine restaurant in one of the richest parts of town with a steak to die for. Kylo was ready to book a table early in the evening, when he hesitated. For him, the luxury of ‘ _The Supremacy_ ’ was a given, he was used to it and expected it in every aspect of his life, but for Rey? She had grown up in a desert grave, between junkyards and poverty. She couldn’t afford a better apartment than one in the Arcades and she probably felt bad about him paying the bill already. She would feel out of place and that was the last thing Kylo wanted.

He wanted her to feel comfortable and relaxed around him and he knew the environment of ‘ _The Supremacy’_ would do the exact opposite. For tonight, he would gladly give the stake a miss and find a restaurant that was better suited for her. The surroundings were not the only thing Kylo had to consider. One thing he enjoyed about ‘ _The Supremacy’_ was the absence of people he knew. It was very unlikely to meet meet broke college students. Most of the professor at UHC had families with small children or teenagers, also very unlikely to meet. In the past three years, Kylo hadn’t encountered any other professor there.

Kylo didn’t like to go to places he didn’t know. Call him a creature of habit, but there was just something about the unknown and his high expectations about… well, about everything. Twelve years of useless dating had given him impressions where to find decent restaurants, that did meet his standards concerning the food and décor.

While he was getting ready at his house, showering and even shaving just to be sure, Kylo had to remind himself that he was a man of almost thirty-six years and that there hasn’t been one date he was nervous about.  Be that as it may, this was… hell, this was _Rey_. This evening wasn’t about sex or distraction, this was about Rey and him. Breathtaking, gorgeous Rey who had enchanted him. Rey Doe, the girl he had heard so much about, when Meyer had gushed about his talented student. The girl he had secretly fantasized about since the moment she had stepped into his office after the first lecture. Tonight, was about them and he would truly enjoy a date for the first time in his life.

 

Kylo parked his Porsche in front of Tony’s Italian Restaurant. Rey was snuggled into the warm leather and hadn’t said a word during the drive, but Kylo had felt her eyes on him constantly. Something he had noticed about her early on. She was always aware of her surroundings, he wasn’t sure if Rey was aware of that herself. Whenever she entered a room, the first thing she did was check for windows and doors, followed by close inspection of the room. She did the same with people. She studied them like pictures, took in details nobody usually noticed at first sight.

He turned off the engine and turned towards her. “Shall we?”

Her excited nod made Kylo smile. He led Rey to the entrance, a hand on the small of her back and frowned when he felt the distinct shape of her vertebras beneath his hand. As much as he knew, the modern trend tended towards skinny models with barely-there curves, Kylo tended to the trend ‘healthy’. He kept track of his own health with a good diet and exercise, despite his troubled past with alcohol. Rey’s tiny body however, worried him. Immensely.

Upon entering the restaurant, Rey halted in her step. Kylo knew old habits died hard and just like him with his few ticks, she had her own. He observed Rey, while she inspected the place, doors and windows.

A waiter dressed in black slacks and a white shirt hurried over to them. “Good evening, welcome to Tony’s. Do you have reservations?”

His Italian accent was thick and his brown eyes practically formed hearts, while he set his sights on Rey, ignoring Kylo completely in the process. Kylo pulled Rey closer and placed a provocative hand on her.

“Yes.” He chewed out between gritted teeth. “The name is Ren.”

The waiter gave Kylo an awkward glare, before he went behind the counter to check for the reservation. The waiter cleared his throat. but even the written proof before his eyes didn’t stop the waiter from giving heart-eyes to Rey. Which drove Kylo almost to the point of blind rage.

“A table for two… right. Alright, Mr. Ren. Please, follow me.”

Kylo had to bite his tongue so he wouldn’t snarl at the two men sitting at the back of the restaurant, ogling Rey hungrily. With their girlfriends or wives directly next to them. No, killing two people in a restaurant was no way to Rey’s heart, but certainly to his peace of mind. Kylo gave them a warning look that clearly sent the message ‘ _you better stop looking at her or I will rip out your guts’_.

“Your table.” The waiter pulled Rey’s chair out for her and was getting busy to take off her coat, but the audible growl from Kylo stopped the young boy in his move. “I’ll hurry and bring you the menu.”

Kylo took the seat with his back to the restaurant to shield her from the leering gazes and give her the sense of security she needed to feel comfortable, with her back to the wall. He enjoyed the awe on her face while she took in the décor of the restaurant. It was indeed a cozy little place, nothing like the restaurants Kylo would usually dine in. It was warm and small, it had a homely feeling and the typical Italian flair about it. Red brick walls, with ivy on the walls growing over the ceiling beams. Old wrought-iron lanterns with candles inside gave the room a gloomy, almost dream-like touch, while an opera was playing silently through the speakers.

“You like it?”

She nodded happily, while she looked around. “I love it. I’ve never been to such a nice place.”

Another jab to his goddamn heart. She had never been taken out at almost twenty-two? The waiter returned… with a goddamn _rose_ and with it, Kylo’s almost insuppressible urge to murder that kid. The waiter had the sheer audacity to wink at Rey while he put the flower into the tiny vase on the table and lit the candle.

“Are you ready to order your drinks?”

The kid was speaking more to Rey and Kylo had to bite his tongue and not yell at him to fuck off. Deep breath. Homicide was no solution, but it was damn tempting.

“I’ll have the Chianti.”

Rey gave the waiter a friendly smile, but Kylo could see that she was feeling more uncomfortable by the second.

“I’ll have a water, please.”

Kylo was about to explode but reminded himself that this whole evening was about to show Rey that he wasn’t that much of an asshole and that he indeed was capable of human interaction. Without yelling. Nonetheless Kylo promised himself right then and there, he would _never_ return to this restaurant with her.

“Don’t.”

Kylo’s head shot up and his angry expression was met by an amused little smile on her face. Now he wanted to place her over his knee for her knowing smirk. _Cheeky little thing_.

“I didn’t do anything.” He said like petulant child that had just been scolded and huffed.

She cleared her throat, obviously very entertained by his effort to keep his temper in check when the waiter arrived with her water, making it look like it was an immense effort and fine technique as he poured water from the bottle into her glass. Kylo’s glass of wine was set down before him with an audible thump.

Without him being prepared for it at all, Rey reached over the table and put her hand over his. Her skin was _icy_ , goddamn it!

“I only have eyes for you.” She murmured softly, but that amused smile never faded from her lips.

How in the world was he supposed to keep his hands off her tonight?

 

Rey didn’t know for sure if she would like dating. In fact, she never had a date before tonight, so Rey had no idea what to expect. The restaurant was amazing, she loved it. Rey really didn’t need to try the food to know she would like it. The restaurant itself was nice and cozy, nothing too big or fancy. Something she had been very anxious about.

It didn’t take much to put one and one together to know that Kylo wasn’t a regular of Tony’s. He stuck out like a sore thumb in here with his tailored suit and sports car, while three tables over a couple passionately made out over their table. The young waiter, she guessed only a few years older than her, had given her the flirty-eye since they stepped food into the restaurant. Rey had to hide her amusement at Kylo’s obvious fury towards the guy, until she simply couldn’t anymore.

The waiter came back and stared at her with a smile of an angel. “Are you ready to order?”

“I’ll have the chicken, thank you.”

Kylo barked his order at the poor waiter and it reminded Rey of Kylo’s usual tone inside the auditorium of UHC. Just in case, Rey took Kylo’s menu and gave it back to the waiter, or else she feared for his nose or some of his teeth.

Rey made sure the waiter was gone, before she turned to Kylo. “Have you been here before, or was this a lucky pick?”

“I was here before. I don’t really like to go someplace I don’t know.”

“You don’t?”

He shook his head and nipped from his wine. “No, I don’t. I don’t like being surprised. Especially when it comes to food.”

That was interesting. She hadn’t expected that. “So, you don’t really stray from your patterns?”

Kylo shrugged nonchalantly. “Not often. My life is organized, without organization I wouldn’t be where I am today, especially at my age. I like to follow certain routines.”

That Kylo was an organized person was nothing new to Rey. She had seen that trait in him in every single lecture. He was always prepared and not a single minute was ever wasted. His test and papers were structured to perfection, there wasn’t a single flaw in his presentations and more than once, Rey had often wondered how many hours he spent on his papers. Rey made a mental note to ask him that question later.

“Was this always what you wanted?”

“Sitting across from you in a restaurant?” Kylo chuckled. “That’s certainly something I wanted for the past few weeks.”

Rey couldn’t help but laugh. Another side of Kylo she had yet to explore. His sarcastic, almost dry humor that had made its appearance on small occasions. His dark eyes were glinting mischievously. Rey rolled eyes.

“No, I’m not talking about now. I’m talking about your job.”

The split second of tension that seemed to run down his body didn’t go by her unnoticed.

“I never wanted to become a professor, or any form of teacher that is.” He huffed and rubbed his thumb across the rim of his wineglass. “Life happens, and I made the decision to take the opportunity that was given.”

Rey realized and understood one thing about Kylo. They had something in common. Something happened along their paths that had shaped them into what they were now. Something, she hadn’t seen before. He had the same haunted look in his dark eyes, if closely looked at. The new heaviness in the air only lasted for a split second, before Kylo tore himself out of his dark memories just as the waiter arrived with their plates.

“Here you go. The steak and the chicken. Buon appetiteo!”

Rey’s eyes lit up and her mouth watered instantly. _Heaven… heaven in its purest nature_. The food looked delicious! She simply couldn’t wait any longer and picked up her cutlery, deftly cutting into the roasted chicken with parmesan and baked tomatoes.

“Buon appetito.”

 

It didn’t take long to pick the lock. The door swung open and allowed him to step into the tiny apartment. She had been hiding in here from him for the past two years. Despite the shitty complex, it smelled fresh inside and of something feminine, some perfume shit or whatever. She certainly wasn’t living the high life. Unkar closed the door behind him and turned on the light. Shit, the little bitch sure as hell wasn’t living in some fancy apartment. She barely had any stuff. A sliced-up couch, a few bookshelves and a TV standing on the floor.

Her kitchen was a joke. Just a microwave on a small counter and a heating plate, above a tiny fridge with barely anything inside. There was a book on the kitchen counter and he picked it up, carelessly leaving through it. Sappy poem shit he didn’t even understand. He threw it back onto the counter. The last room was her bedroom, definitely more interesting.

The windows were covered by lilac curtain and the bed… what the fuck? It wasn’t even a bed, it was one of those shitty inflatable mattresses for camping trips. A small commode stood across from the bed and Unkar opened one drawer after the other, searching through her stuff. Most of drawers contained clothes, but the last drawer had something else in it. Papers. Loads and loads of papers. Articles she had obviously cut or ripped from newspapers and magazines. Articles about student programs and scholarships. _That little bitch_.

Unkar rose to his feet and walked out of the bedroom into the small living room. Folders and notes were scattered over the couch and floor. Books about literature and the study of speech, grammar and all that unnecessary shit lay all around. He picked up one thick book after the other and leafed through them. He stopped… He found what he wanted to find.

There was a seal, a ridiculous looking thing with two mermaids one holding up a spear, the other one a parchment scroll. In blue letters was the solution to two years of searching for that little bitch. Unkar smirked as he put the book back and started to laugh.

“Property of University of Hanna City.” He took one last look around. “I finally got you, you little bitch.”

 

Kylo had never seen anyone eat with as much gusto as Rey did. She was savoring every bite, didn’t hurry or pretended to be full after two bites of her meal. His steak was surprisingly good, despite his disquieting premonition that the waiter had spat onto his food. Rey on the other hand couldn’t be bothered by anything, she cleaned her plate until the last little crumb and after, she did munch a little on the fresh bred that had been placed between them.

Kylo had finished his steak by the time she had started to nibble on the bread, enjoyed watching her. She sighed and smiled at him contently. The underlying level of anxiety and nervousness that always accompanied her gone and replaced by ease.

“Happy?”

She smirked like the Cheshire cat in persona. “ _That_ was delicious. I’ve never ate food like this before.”

“Not once?”

Rey’s smile slowly disappeared, while she shook her head. “In Jakku there were no restaurants and if there would have been, I would have never been allowed to eat there.”

Her sentence spiked his interest. Who on earth would have forbidden her to eat at a nice place? Even now, as far away from Jakku as possible, it wasn’t easy for her to reminiscent. It broke his heart.

“You don’t have to talk about it, if you can’t.”

“No, it’s just… I never realized how sad Jakku was. How desolate and empty and when I think about all the other children there…” She shuddered. “They never managed to get away like I did. It’s scary to think that I could have been one of them.”

The injury on her left leg surely was just one of many old wounds that never really healed, both physically and mentally.

“You are here now, that is all that matters.” _Let the past die._ “That was all you.”

“No, not entirely.”

Kylo cocked a questioning brow at her and Rey hurried to explain.

“Jakku has one school and far too less teachers for all the kids, the usual. There was one teacher, Miss Conlan. She was my English teacher and she encouraged me to write and take part in the literary competitions. She was also the one that filed me for the scholarship, I had no idea until she told me.”

“She saw your potential.”

Rey nodded, a gentle smile playing around her lips. “She was the best and I never managed to really thank her for everything she did for me. If I can, I want to do that one day.”

Kylo made a mental promise to himself to thank this lady personally for helping Rey out of the hell that Jakku was and he would pull out all the stops to ensure that her teacher would live on much more than her pension later.

She sighed out a heavy breath. “What about you? Did you grow up in Hanna?”

“No, I’m not from here, I came to Hanna to study here.”

Rey leaned back into her chair, ripping off another piece of bread. “How old were you when you moved here?”

Kylo couldn’t help the little smirk appearing on his lips. “Curious little thing, aren’t you?”

The prettiest blush spread over her cheeks while she innocently batted her dark lashes at him. Oh, she certainly knew how to play innocent.

“I can’t help it.”

He chuckled into his wine. “I was twenty when I moved to Hanna. I couldn’t have stayed in my homeland, so I moved.”

“Your parents must be proud of you. You’re a professor at one of the best universities in the country.” Rey said with admiration in her voice.

At the mention of his parents, Kylo tensed unintentionally. She had noticed too, of course she would notice, and she had a look of utter guilt on her face.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-,”

Kylo stopped her mid-sentence. “Rey, don’t ever apologize for anything. Especially not for asking me perfectly normal questions.” He rolled his tense shoulders. “My relationship to my parents is rather complicated. I haven’t talked to them since I move to Hanna.”

He didn’t consider the incident with his father a few weeks ago a conversation. Even though he had had talked to Han, he hadn’t exchanged a word with his mother for over sixteen years now.

“But-, don’t you miss them?”

Kylo wanted to say no, but somehow, he couldn’t. The deep resentment he held for his parents was there, every minute of the day but there was one little part of him, deep down that _did_ miss them. It was the same for his parent’s love and attention.

“I think a certain part of me does.” He answered honestly. “I feel better being away from them. My mother always wanted me to be what I simply couldn’t and my father, he was gone pretty much throughout my childhood. When the time came, I decided to cut ties.”

“That’s sad.”

“It’s for our best. Sometimes parents and kids don’t get along, Rey. That’s life.”

She nodded, yet Kylo knew she was not agreeing with him. Kylo understood that it was hard for her to accept a truth like this, after she had been abandoned by her parents.

“I know, nonetheless I can’t understand it. I would give anything for parents that loved me.”

Kylo sighed. “Sometimes love isn’t enough, sweetness.”

 

Something inside Rey’s chest ached when she heard Kylo talk about the dispute with his parents. He hadn’t talked to them in sixteen years? Rey would give her kidney, if not her heart, for parents that would love her. She knew that Kylo was right, sometimes love wasn’t enough. Yet, it didn’t change the fact that she would never understand it.

“Do you have any siblings?”

“No. I was the solemn disappointment of my parents.”

Somehow, Rey had the feeling that there was an inaudible ‘ _Thank God for that’_ between his words. The biting sarcasm in his voice did not go past her. _Alright_ , she thought, _it was seriously time to move on from topic ‘family’_.

She was about to ask him about anything but his personal life, when the waiter came around the corner to get their plates. Rey had never been more relieved to see him.

“Do you want a desert, bella?” He winked at her with while he placed her empty plate on his arm.

Rey knew that Kylo was once more only seconds away from strangling him. She looked across the table at Kylo, who was glaring daggers at the waiter.

“I don’t know.” Acting all innocent, she leaned over the table. “How about you, lover?”

The waiter looked like someone had hit him square in the gut with a sledgehammer, while Kylo looked smug as hell.

“I’ll take whatever you have.”

Rey deftly pulled the dessert card from the waiter’s hands and studied the range of desserts before. She could practically feel the grin on Kylo’s lips from behind card she held in her hands.

“I’ll take the Tiramisu, thank you. Oh, could you please bring two spoons?”

The waiter cleared his throat in embarrassment. “Right away, Miss.”

Kylo arched a questioning brow at her. “Lover?”

Rey, who had gotten a good portion braver around him during the last hour, dared to give him a little sneak peek at what only Finn, Rose and Poe knew to be her true personality.

“You would have murdered that waiter by the time the dessert arrives, if I hadn’t done anything.”

Kylo saluted her with his glass. “Fell free to call me that again, whenever you want. I like it.”

Rey felt heat in her cheeks and wondered how many times this man had managed to make her blush within two hours. She had never been a blushing wallflower, but Kylo did unexplainable things to her at times.

“Do you have your phone with you?”

Rey blinked. “Excuse me?”

Kylo grinned and leaned over. “Do you have your phone with you?”

Kylo held his hand open, gesturing her to hand the phone over to him. After a small second of searching through her pockets, he took the small mobile from her. It looked like a child’s toy in his large hands. Rey had to hide her amused smile behind her hand, as she watched Kylo struggle with her phone. His fingers were too large, and he had to use one fingertip to operate it.

“Don’t you dare laughing, young lady.” He huffed while he typed something in. “You’ll end up over my knee faster than you think.”

Rey’s jaw hit the table, literally. For a moment she lost the power of intelligent speech completely. Kylo pushed the phone back into her open palm that was still hovering over the table.

A few minutes later, the Tiramisu was placed between them, with two spoons on the side. Kylo pushed the plate towards her.

“You don’t like sweet things, do you?”

Kylo chuckled and gave her a heated look. “I know one sweet thing I _definitely_ like.”

 

It had started to rain when they exited Tony’s. Kylo’s warm coat was wrapped around Rey’s shoulder and his hand was once more on her hip. Kylo was thankful for the cool, fresh air which he had desperately craved for the past thirty minutes. It was worth the constrictive feeling of his shirt collar and the rock-hard erection he had to hide beneath the tablecloth. This whole evening had been a new experience to him. It wasn’t rushed, it wasn’t forced, and it was _fun_.

Kylo himself was calm. They were on their way to her complex, his phone number saved in her mobile and Rey content and sated. The entire evening had been a success for Kylo and he had witnessed Rey stepping out of her shell. Now, he knew the _real_ Rey. Curious and brave Rey.

When he pulled up to her front door, he could _feel_ the hesitation in her. She had gotten tense in her seat and watched as the raindrops ran down the glass of her window. Kylo turned off the engine, the only sound was the rain hitting the roof of his car.

“Rey?”

“Mhm?”

Kylo was severely worried now about the drastic change in her. He turned in his seat so he could look at her.

“Love, what’s wrong?”

She didn’t answer, she only looked down at her knotted fingers in her lap. Kylo hated to see her so upset.

He reached over and cupped her face in his hands. “Rey, talk to me. Did I do something? Was it about earlier, when I-,”

She shook her head, her eyes wide. “No, God no! It was… this evening, you- it was perfect. I’ve never had so much fun and I feel-,” She took a shuddering breath. “I feel so safe and good around you that it _scares_ me. I don’t want to go up into my tiny apartment, because I’m so scared that this is a dream and I’ll wake up any second now. And you’ll disappear.”

Kylo knew she was trying to build her walls back up, so she could distance herself from the feelings she harbored for him.

“Rey, look at me.” When she didn’t, he firmly tipped her head back, so she had to meet his eyes. “Sweetness, I won’t disappear. This is not a dream, this is real. This is you and I. I won’t lie to you, we don’t know where this goes from here, it’s dangerous and we shouldn’t, and it will be difficult but before I’ll ever let you go, hell must freeze over.”

“Kylo-,”

He cut her off with a searing kiss. Her hands flew to his arms to hold onto him. She willingly opened her mouth for him, there was no urging or pending hesitation, just wanting. It wasn’t anything like their first kiss, not even like their second. This was something else. This was raw passion and their essence. This was _them_.

“See?” He asked, breathing heavily. “I’m right here.”

With a groan, partially pained because his rock-hard cock was pressing painfully against the fly of his jeans and partially because it physically hurt to let her go, Kylo leaned back into his seat. Her face was flushed, and her lips swollen, bruised by his kiss.

“Now, hurry and get inside. I can’t think straight, right now.”

Kylo took a deep, calming breath through which wasn’t exactly helping. Goddamn it, this woman would be the death of him.

“I don’t want-,”

“Rey, I will _not_ fuck you in my car.” His hands tightened around the steering wheel he used to enforce his willpower to let her go without holding her back. “At least not yet and certainly not the first time. And now, off you go, sweetness.”

Rey huffed in frustration but didn’t disagree with him. She pressed one last quick kiss to his jaw. “Thank you, Kylo. I loved it.”

“Rey, send me a text, I want your number. Don’t forget it, you have an hour.”

Rey rolled her eyes at his commanding tone, but couldn’t hide her smile. “Or what, professor?”

He growled and leaned over her seat, to catch one last kiss. “I already told you, you’ll end up over my knee faster than you can run. Now, get in.”

Kylo watched while Rey hurry inside and waited until he saw the lights turn on behind the lilac curtain of her window. Turning down the street, he didn’t pay attention to the rusted, old truck that was parked close to the entrance while he drove past it.

He had just let her street when he heard his mobile vibrate in the pocket of his coat. A content smile spread on his lips. _Good girl_.

 

Rey slipped beneath her blanket with a content sigh. Her stomach was full and her limbs heavenly tired. She felt giddy, like she would burst into a thousand pieces with all the happiness inside. She giggled into her pillow like a little girl and it felt _good_. It felt right to be this happy. Rey got settled inter her bed, when her phone started to buzz silently. Rey reached to her nightstand for her phone. Her display briefly blinded her in the darkness of her bedroom.

“Hello.”

_“Hello, yourself.”_ Kylo’s deep voice rumbled in her ear. “ _Are you tucked in, sweetness?”_

Rey nodded, even though he couldn’t see it. “I am. You?”

“ _I am.”_

Rey could imagine him in his bed, surely something grand to fit his big body comfortably. She wondered if he wore anything in bed or if he was lounging beneath his sheets naked?

“I had so much fun tonight, Kylo. I really did.”

“ _I aim to please.”_

She got comfortable again. “You certainly did. I’m still scared I’ll wake up in the morning, only to realize it was a dream.”

_“It’s not, Rey.”_

“Kylo?”

_“Yes, love?”_

“Will you stay on the phone until I’m asleep? Then I know it’s real. That it’s not a dream.”

Rey’s heart was beating wildly in her chest, while she waited for his answer. Her fingers tightened around the phone in anxious anticipation.

_“Of course, Rey. Now close your eyes and go to sleep.”_

Rey obeyed happily and closed her eyes. “You really are here, aren’t you?”

_“I told you already, sweetness, not a dream. I’m really here and I’ll stay as long as you’ll have me.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys, here it is… yes, I know… sappy AF but I can’t help it. It was Christmas, even my stone-cold heart did get warm up these past few days. I hope you all enjoyed the chapter and I apologize a great deal for making you all wait so long. :( again… *nervous laughter*
> 
> Once more, I feel like I Need to explain a Little bit: Last chapter I felt like I didn't really dive into Rey's and Kylo's Feelings About the date, so I did it here. :) 
> 
> However, you know the drill: tell me what you think and leave me a comment, give this chapter a kudo and of course, subscribe so I can take you with me on this crazy ride.^^
> 
> I hope each and everyone of you had a merry and joyful Christmas with your families, partners, friends, pets, TV’s or with your bed alone. 😉 Of course: HAPPY NEW YEAR! I wish you all the best of the best, with health, success and luck, love and a ton of laughter for the new year. May all your wishes, goals and dreams come true for you, you amazing people!   
> Lots of love from me to all of you, XOXO Alessandra! <3 
> 
> Come visit me on Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/callmealessandra

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! Yes, guilty in all charges… another Reylo story.^^ I just can’t help myself, I’m so addicted right now, I found several plot leak videos on Youtube today, adding to the fact that here in Germany, TLJ is now airing on Sky, so yeah, guess what I did today… correct! I watched it like two times already again. :- D  
> So, let me explain a few things. I’m from Germany and I understand, that my education system may differ from an American system for example. If there are terms and things you may not understand, just ask me and I’ll do a little explanation in every note by the end of the chapter. I can only describe University life like I know it here. All students, please raise your hands, you my people…^^  
> Okay, let’s proceed… I was really inspired to write my own College AU thanks to the amazing story Libera Me, which was sadly taken down, something I will never understand, I was just addicted to that story. : (  
> Please leave me a review, a kudo and subscribe, that would be amazing! : ) As always, just a little closing note, I am not English, so please be gentle when it comes to grammar or spelling mistakes, I’ll gladly correct if you find one.  
> Love you all!  
> Kisses Alessandra


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